Middle Who Can't Get Into Middle Space

[L0ve_Bug]

I'm not super new to the DDlg lifestlye - I've known I've belonged in this community for some years now. I just found this community and I am completely ecstatic about it! I started out as a little and I really did liked it. I felt like in the beginning it helped me to relax, decompress, and coop with the happenings of life. I started to struggle to regress into 'little space' when I was with my first daddy/dom. Suddenly, what used to be an escape became a source of stress. I felt like I wasn't 'little-ing' enough, almost like I couldn't completely regress into little space. I felt like I no longer was a little or even really identified with being a little.

I decided that maybe I would leave 'little life' behind and explore being a middle. It has definitely been a better fit considering I am very independent and have a tendency to challenge authority (a.k.a. be a brat 🙃). I would say I identify as a middle whose age ranges from 16-18 years old. I've enjoyed relaxing some and doing things that I used to do when I was a teen. However, I am still having issues regressing into middle space. Like, I know I'm not broken but it just seems like nothing is working anymore. I have tried everything from reading old books that I used to like, doing puzzles, watching teen shows, or listening to 2k pop. It has become increasingly frustrating and has just become a source of stress (which I really don't need anymore of in my life 😅).

I am really hoping I am not alone in this. If anyone has any ideas and suggestions - I AM ALL EARS!

Thanks, Love Bugs 💜

[Guest His_Little_Doll]

Hi!! So I am still new to the lifestyle, so I don't really have advice and my experience isn't so much based on regressing... But I am a pro at stressing myself out 😝

I have to talk to myself with a lot of love and patience. So when I want to be in a certain headspace ie. Little space, middle space, big space (but calm or focused) I tell myself before I start that I am doing amazing and I respect myself where I am at. During the process I tell myself what a good girl I am especially if I am not doing it perfectly. And after I tell myself that all I can ask of myself is I try my best. Then I just accept it. I am not going to be perfect all the time, I can't always fully enter little or middle space, and that's okay! Whatever amount of reprieve I can get is enough. 

I have some pretty severe anxiety and it's really hard for me to give up control and fully enter little space or middle space consistently. 

I know I have no advice but you are not alone ❤️ if you want to be friends and chat send me a follow ☺️ maybe having some little/middle friends to talk to will help?

 

[Guest]

First, what you are going thru is pretty common and totally normal. Sometimes there are situations in our daily lives that prevent the mental and emotion trigger that littles/middles need. Don't try and force it. Your middle will come back when that part of you is ready. Forcing it can only intensify your stress and anxiety. 

I've been a little for quite some time. I just never realized it until i was in my early 40's. They've never been a part of roll play. And they are non-sexual. They come out only when they are ready to. Which one or the other pop out 24/7 at any given time. But I have gone days with out hearing a peep from them. But they've always came back. 

What I'm hoping you get from this is that, if you regress, it's a form of dealing with things, etc... Your little will come back. If it basically role play, then perhaps your personality and things you like are changing. Sometimes it takes just the smallest nudge from someone to trigger her back. 

I hope this has helped a little and you can make sense from my ramblings! 😅

[MissNMTX]

Hi there,

As a middle who identifies with the same age range as you I can tell you, you are not alone. That said, I don't know if I can really help either. I'm beginning to wonder if regression is even a thing for those of us who identify as solidly middle?

For me it's more a space where I'm just more relaxed and happy... silly. I don't really do anything to try and make that happen it just comes out. Of course, really skilled and knowledgeable daddies can bring it out, but that's another topic.

You are not alone. My only advice is to keep trying to learn and learn more about yourself. Do what is healthy and helpful to you and don't worry if it fits some label. Boy, I'm really anti label this morning!

[Guest His_Little_Doll]

29 minutes ago, MissNMTX said:

Hi there,

As a middle who identifies with the same age range as you I can tell you, you are not alone. That said, I don't know if I can really help either. I'm beginning to wonder if regression is even a thing for those of us who identify as solidly middle?

For me it's more a space where I'm just more relaxed and happy... silly. I don't really do anything to try and make that happen it just comes out. Of course, really skilled and knowledgeable daddies can bring it out, but that's another topic.

You are not alone. My only advice is to keep trying to learn and learn more about yourself. Do what is healthy and helpful to you and don't worry if it fits some label. Boy, I'm really anti label this morning!

This is great advice! Labels can be so helpful to some and so unhelpful to others

[L0ve_Bug]

23 hours ago, His_Little_Doll said:

Hi!! So I am still new to the lifestyle, so I don't really have advice and my experience isn't so much based on regressing... But I am a pro at stressing myself out 😝

I have to talk to myself with a lot of love and patience. So when I want to be in a certain headspace ie. Little space, middle space, big space (but calm or focused) I tell myself before I start that I am doing amazing and I respect myself where I am at. During the process I tell myself what a good girl I am especially if I am not doing it perfectly. And after I tell myself that all I can ask of myself is I try my best. Then I just accept it. I am not going to be perfect all the time, I can't always fully enter little or middle space, and that's okay! Whatever amount of reprieve I can get is enough. 

I have some pretty severe anxiety and it's really hard for me to give up control and fully enter little space or middle space consistently. 

I know I have no advice but you are not alone ❤️ if you want to be friends and chat send me a follow ☺️ maybe having some little/middle friends to talk to will help?

 

That totally makes sense!! I’m almost sikeing myself out. Thanks for the advice and friendship 💜

[Guest His_Little_Doll]

3 minutes ago, L0ve_Bug said:

That totally makes sense!! I’m almost sikeing myself out. Thanks for the advice and friendship 💜

Yes exactly! You're getting into your own way. Love yourself where you are at 💚💚 feel free to message any time! 

 

[L0ve_Bug]

22 hours ago, Lil Juju said:

First, what you are going thru is pretty common and totally normal. Sometimes there are situations in our daily lives that prevent the mental and emotion trigger that littles/middles need. Don't try and force it. Your middle will come back when that part of you is ready. Forcing it can only intensify your stress and anxiety. 

I've been a little for quite some time. I just never realized it until i was in my early 40's. They've never been a part of roll play. And they are non-sexual. They come out only when they are ready to. Which one or the other pop out 24/7 at any given time. But I have gone days with out hearing a peep from them. But they've always came back. 

What I'm hoping you get from this is that, if you regress, it's a form of dealing with things, etc... Your little will come back. If it basically role play, then perhaps your personality and things you like are changing. Sometimes it takes just the smallest nudge from someone to trigger her back. 

I hope this has helped a little and you can make sense from my ramblings! 😅

Heheh I ramble always so please dm me so we can ramble together! It’s been a minute, or some, since I’ve had someone to encourage me to regress so that may have something to do with it. But definitely good advise!! Thank you 💜

[L0ve_Bug]

9 hours ago, MissNMTX said:

Hi there,

As a middle who identifies with the same age range as you I can tell you, you are not alone. That said, I don't know if I can really help either. I'm beginning to wonder if regression is even a thing for those of us who identify as solidly middle?

For me it's more a space where I'm just more relaxed and happy... silly. I don't really do anything to try and make that happen it just comes out. Of course, really skilled and knowledgeable daddies can bring it out, but that's another topic.

You are not alone. My only advice is to keep trying to learn and learn more about yourself. Do what is healthy and helpful to you and don't worry if it fits some label. Boy, I'm really anti label this morning!

Silly is definitely a good way to put it! It’s like I become a more carefree version of myself. 

Labels put you in a box… I for one have never been a fan of those 😊💜 Thank you!!!

[Vampiress]

There's a lot of good responses here and I totally agree with everyone else. Usually adult stress is the thing that keeps me from being in complete littlespace. You'll have to reflect on what's going on in your life and what kind of self-talk you give yourself. If you're negative with yourself at all that won't help (ex: thinking you don't deserve it, afraid to let go of control, feeling guilty because you have other stuff to do, etc). I think it starts with good self-care and having a better inner dialogue so that you can give yourself permission and feel okay slipping into your headspace.

[L0ve_Bug]

22 minutes ago, Vampiress said:

There's a lot of good responses here and I totally agree with everyone else. Usually adult stress is the thing that keeps me from being in complete littlespace. You'll have to reflect on what's going on in your life and what kind of self-talk you give yourself. If you're negative with yourself at all that won't help (ex: thinking you don't deserve it, afraid to let go of control, feeling guilty because you have other stuff to do, etc). I think it starts with good self-care and having a better inner dialogue so that you can give yourself permission and feel okay slipping into your headspace.

You hit the nail on the head... thank you 💜