Ddlg in stories vs real life.

[Guest ddlgneko]

Maybe I've read and wrote to many ddlg stories that I've messed up my sense of reality to it all. My standards are to high for what I want. Does anyone have a almost 24/7 ddlg relationship? I know it can't be 24/7 because work and family you can't always be little. But most of the time. Is that something that's possible? I want to be little most of the time but I'm starting to feel like that's out of reach and not realistic. Maybe I'm being stupid in thinking that's possible? It's all stories I make up in my head. 

[Sanguine]

Good morning ddlgneko,

I wanted to give my two pence on this matter; it's an interesting topic.

I believe any set-up is possible with the right person. You have your preferences, and they are not unique to you. The trick is to find a like-minded person, who shares your expectation of the dynamic.

You might benefit from asking yourself what the consequences may be should you expect your partner to adhere to your expectations. You will inevitably apply extra pressure on your relationship, if your partner can't keep up.

It may turn out that your current or future partner may agree to your preferences for a short while, then once the novelty wears off, they fall back into their regular patterns that are less consistent with what you're expecting from the relationship.

If you are looking for a 24/7 DD/lg relationship, I might suggest speaking with your partner and suggesting rules that promote the dynamic in daily life. For example, I ensure my little sends me a text whenever she leaves or arrives somewhere (usually for when she leaves for/arrives at work, and vice versa). She must also say good morning and good night each day, and send a photo of what she's eating for lunch, so I can make sure she's eating well. These are examples of how I incorporate DDlg into my daily life, albeit not 24/7 life.

It would be interesting to read the opinions of others on this matter as well.

Yours,

Sanguine

[VeryOwnDesire89]

I can share a story of 1 of my 24/7 ddlg dynamics i had.
So me and a previous partner was living together and before we moved in it was already a DDLG dynamic. Me being a natural caregiver it comes very easy to me and for her regressing all the time helps her handle life easier.
yes she still had a job which she needed to be adult for but as soon as she was home, the little her come out. She would always verbally regress around me. It was actually rare i heard her normal voice. Even in public, if she didn't wanna be heard cos of being embarrassed she would give me a tug and whisper in my ear in her regressed voice. She also never called me by named, i don't think she ever used it once in the 3 years we were together, was always 'daddy'. So what about this made it 24.7? Well i would do everything for her cos i loved/enjoyed doing it. I would give her bath time, story time, prepare and cut up her food, sit with her on her lap whilst she did coloring, i used to decorate my walls with her colorings to make it feel more cozy. I am someone who very much likes engaging with my little. For her she loved always being babied. She didn't like making any decisions. So i'd pick out her clothes, help her get dressed/undressed also. Think of it as if you had a your own child and you taking care of them. That's how it was. This worked very well for us both because of her past trauma her being little 24/7 helped her feel alive if that makes sense. This also went into the sexual areas also. I know this is a sensitive area for some so i apologize but she would be regressed and feel younger during acts of intimacy so she would be more sensitive, feel tighter, not enjoy it too hard because in her mind 'She's smol, shes baby, shes tiny' So that was always something taken into consideration. 

For most part it was like our very own little disney movie fairytale relationship. I won't go into detail how it ended but i've atleast witnessed this myself and i can assure you that these things are not just a fantasy and are definitely possible to have. Good communication, trust and both wanting the same thing and you can make something great

Edited April 28, 2023 by VeryOwnDesire89

[Erasmeus71]

I have been doing some role playing and it is all made up in head. Stories are not perfect. Well life is not perfect either

[Pinkie69]

i think that if your heart is set on something then the universe makes it obtainable for u

10 minutes ago, Erasmeus71 said:

I have been doing some role playing and it is all made up in head. Stories are not perfect. Well life is not perfect either

yes role-playing is all about the fantasy. switching up the roles that we take on in regular life or even keeping within the same roles but doing it in a diff scenario. the beauty of it is that imagination is limitless.

[Pinkie69]

13 hours ago, VeryOwnDesire89 said:

I can share a story of 1 of my 24/7 ddlg dynamics i had.
So me and a previous partner was living together and before we moved in it was already a DDLG dynamic. Me being a natural caregiver it comes very easy to me and for her regressing all the time helps her handle life easier.
yes she still had a job which she needed to be adult for but as soon as she was home, the little her come out. She would always verbally regress around me. It was actually rare i heard her normal voice. Even in public, if she didn't wanna be heard cos of being embarrassed she would give me a tug and whisper in my ear in her regressed voice. She also never called me by named, i don't think she ever used it once in the 3 years we were together, was always 'daddy'. So what about this made it 24.7? Well i would do everything for her cos i loved/enjoyed doing it. I would give her bath time, story time, prepare and cut up her food, sit with her on her lap whilst she did coloring, i used to decorate my walls with her colorings to make it feel more cozy. I am someone who very much likes engaging with my little. For her she loved always being babied. She didn't like making any decisions. So i'd pick out her clothes, help her get dressed/undressed also. Think of it as if you had a your own child and you taking care of them. That's how it was. This worked very well for us both because of her past trauma her being little 24/7 helped her feel alive if that makes sense. This also went into the sexual areas also. I know this is a sensitive area for some so i apologize but she would be regressed and feel younger during acts of intimacy so she would be more sensitive, feel tighter, not enjoy it too hard because in her mind 'She's smol, shes baby, shes tiny' So that was always something taken into consideration. 

For most part it was like our very own little disney movie fairytale relationship. I won't go into detail how it ended but i've atleast witnessed this myself and i can assure you that these things are not just a fantasy and are definitely possible to have. Good communication, trust and both wanting the same thing and you can make something great

this tugs at my heart strings. unique and truthful. rare to find people that r comfy within their roles. 

[Pinkie69]

14 hours ago, Sanguine said:

Good morning ddlgneko,

I wanted to give my two pence on this matter; it's an interesting topic.

I believe any set-up is possible with the right person. You have your preferences, and they are not unique to you. The trick is to find a like-minded person, who shares your expectation of the dynamic.

You might benefit from asking yourself what the consequences may be should you expect your partner to adhere to your expectations. You will inevitably apply extra pressure on your relationship, if your partner can't keep up.

It may turn out that your current or future partner may agree to your preferences for a short while, then once the novelty wears off, they fall back into their regular patterns that are less consistent with what you're expecting from the relationship.

If you are looking for a 24/7 DD/lg relationship, I might suggest speaking with your partner and suggesting rules that promote the dynamic in daily life. For example, I ensure my little sends me a text whenever she leaves or arrives somewhere (usually for when she leaves for/arrives at work, and vice versa). She must also say good morning and good night each day, and send a photo of what she's eating for lunch, so I can make sure she's eating well. These are examples of how I incorporate DDlg into my daily life, albeit not 24/7 life.

It would be interesting to read the opinions of others on this matter as well.

Yours,

Sanguine

imagination is key. keep it real. if DDLG is a true part of your make-up then just keep it real to u and your partner/s. i see u have done this in many ways. bringing it into ur daily should happen naturaly as long as DDLG is a natural part of who u r and u r not doing it to please others. please yaself first n foremost and u will find DDLG life slipping intp ya reg life in many ways u would not predict . in saying that its grate to predict and deliberatly incorperate it in reg lfe aswell. can b hard in a vanilla world tho. and lets face it alternative lifestyles do get their fair share of flak from the staraighty 80 society. 

[honeybee7]

i would like to share two experiences that might help you out  so the first one was my first ever relationship, and it was as much of a 24/7 set up as it could be (accommodated to our living situations, schedules, etc). i didn’t see him every day but when i did, every second was the d/s dynamic. there were rules and punishments, requirements to be fulfilled to get rewards, etc. however, i was younger and more naive at the time, and given that it was my first relationship, i was also immature in a not so great way. my emotional regulation depended too heavily on him, and thus, my vulnerability was tied to how our interactions went. then, i found out that i was the other woman. it turned out that the rules and regulations were a convenience for him to hide me and our relationship from his family, friends, and girlfriend of many years.

now let me talk about my second experience. my D and i met in a way that would set up expectations of a vanilla relationship. it was a regular date out to get some food, and then we watched a movie. but we got to know each other as people first— in fact, i didn’t reveal my ddlg side to him until he asked me about it. so, our relationship progressed naturally through the lenses of “this is all vanilla because why wouldn’t it be” until we got closer emotionally and more… physically close. now, it’s not a 24/7 D/s dynamic, but pretty darn close. when i’m with him, i’m regressed 100% of the time unless we’re around family, friends, or if my D is needing me to be big for certain situations. it’s not always the stuff out of stories either— thereve been times where i wonder if it’s fulfilling enough of the D/s side for me, but that’s how real life goes.

in the stories, or in toxic situations, it always goes 100% of the time how you expect it to or want it to. i say in toxic situations to, just through frame of reference of my first experience. my first experience was 100% fulfilling the D/s side, but simply because there was an ulterior motive. by allowing him control over me, it allowed him leeway to be devious. now, it’s not always 100% D/s fulfilling, but because of that, our relationship fulfills other aspects of our identities. when i need to be big, i gain the capacity to hold grown up space and responses for his emotions. when i’m little, i gain the ability to offer him emotional support in a way that isn’t necessarily dealing with D/s dynamic, but the power discrepancy still exists. for example, if i’m little and he’s feeling sad, i can draw him a picture or write him a love letter. if i’m big and he’s feeling sad, i can ask questions in my grown up voice and think with my big brain that can provide reasonable solutions for him being big too. my D is big all the time, but that doesn’t mean i need to be little all the time.

this is going to be different for everyone, but i just wanted to say all this just as a suggestion to be watchful. if something seems to be perfectly fulfilling of the 24/7 dynamic AND offers emotional and mental support, then i would say that’s good. but if you get too caught up in the high of “this relationship is SO fulfilling of D/s dynamic” that you don’t notice the lack in other aspects, that’s when it can get unhealthy. there’s a lot of people out there who claim to be Doms but don’t know how truly deep it goes in terms of emotions and mental health and safety, besides just the physical aspect of it. all in all, don’t feel discouraged! it takes time, and it’s good to be picky about who you invite into your space. it is possible to have a relationship that is as close to 24/7 D/s dynamic as possible, but don’t just jump at the first opportunity you see just because it’s been a long time since you’ve gotten to experience it. it’s like the marshmallow test— if you sit with one marshmallow on your plate for twenty minutes and don’t eat it, you get an extra one so now you have two yummy treats! patience is key— after all, it took me nearly half a decade to find my current partner, and it was well worth the wait. we’re also fluid as humans, and our needs change as we grow. so what you want now might not be want you want in, say, 10 years. and that’s okay!! give it some time hun and remember to be gracious towards yourself: you are worth the wait, and one day you’ll make someone very very happy that you’re in their life in such a close relationship :3

 

glitter n hugs!

- Bee

[gemmy]

It's not a silly thing to want at all. There's lots of good advice about tempering expectations and gaining experience, so I won't add to that. I do want to say that in practice, a lot of times the labels and fluff falls away when you have a solid foundation.  Don't lower your standards, just know that what ends up meeting your standards might look different in the end.