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Big Book of Dad Jokes.


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Posted

What do you call fake spaghetti! ? Impasta 

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People stop talking about your favorite dinosaur as you get older !  That’s because there is only one answer as you age  , the my-back-is-saur

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Why do we call them bee larvae? They should be called ba-bees

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Why don’t ceiling fans get ever get promoted? The keep working in circles 

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My dad aske me were was Moses when the lights went out?  In the dark

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Did you hear about the Bentley that got turned upside down ? It was a Rolled Royce

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My wife and I were cuddling and she siad show me a good time . So I stepped outside and ran a elven second 100m sprint 

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I have got a great recipe for popcorn stuffed duck it’s called Quacker Jacks

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I wondered why the baseball was getting closer and closer, then it hit me.

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I once knew a guy who was addicted to the hockey pokey, he checked himself into rehab and turned himself around. 

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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

 

to get to the other slide

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Did you hear about the person afraid of escalators? They’re taking steps to avoid them. 

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How did the dog get all A’s on his report card?

He was the teachers pet. 

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I wonder if see through coffin will catch con ? Remains to be seen

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I gave my seat on the bus to an elderly man . And that’s how I lost my job as a bus driver 

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To the person that stole my antidepressants! I hope your happy now

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Why don’t rabbits ever get hot in the summer. Because they have Hare-conditioning 

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What spell do you use to transform a parrot? Polly-Morph 

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Oddly enough, my car seems some kind of the way to measure bathing suits! It comes with a speedo meter!

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How do bees get to school? 
 

on the school buzz 

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You know who takes the deposit money you don’t return your soda cans? Aluminuminati

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Why didn't the chef season his dish?
 

He ran out of thyme.

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Did you hear about the magician driving down the street? He turned into a parking lot.

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Why did the guy get fired from the calendar factory? He took a day off.

 

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Where do rainbows go after being arrested? Prism.

 

 

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