WizardofOSS Posted Wednesday at 03:10 PM Report Posted Wednesday at 03:10 PM A man walks into a bookstore in London and asks if he could buy something by Shakespeare. The Book seller asked, "Any particular one?" The man replied, "Oh, William of course!"
WizardofOSS Posted Wednesday at 03:13 PM Report Posted Wednesday at 03:13 PM Don't give me excuses! I wrote the book on excuses!! I mean, I started to, it was really hard, it would have been really good if it wasn't for my computer going down, I got a lot to do ...
WizardofOSS Posted Thursday at 02:41 PM Report Posted Thursday at 02:41 PM (edited) You ever wonder how windmills at windfarms all talk to each other and communicate? Imagine two of them in the field and one asks the other, "What type of music do you like?" The other replies, "Well, I've always been a big heavy metal fan!" Edited Thursday at 02:42 PM by WizardofOSS
WizardofOSS Posted Thursday at 02:45 PM Report Posted Thursday at 02:45 PM Why did the Hamster add a windmill to his enclosure? It reminded him of Hamsterdam!
WizardofOSS Posted Thursday at 02:55 PM Report Posted Thursday at 02:55 PM Why are solar panels so trustworthy? They don't work in the shadows.
WizardofOSS Posted Thursday at 03:09 PM Report Posted Thursday at 03:09 PM I can tell God didn't approve of our Solar System when he reviewed it on the 7th day in Genesis... ...He only gave it one Star!
WizardofOSS Posted Thursday at 03:49 PM Report Posted Thursday at 03:49 PM How does the solar system keep it's pants up? With an Asteroid Belt!
WizardofOSS Posted Thursday at 07:41 PM Report Posted Thursday at 07:41 PM The Moon landing was obviously fake... ...The Moon is till up there! It didn't land anywhere.
WizardofOSS Posted Thursday at 07:44 PM Report Posted Thursday at 07:44 PM Neil Armstromg used to tell really bad jokes about walking on the Moon. However, when no-one laughed, he finished by saying,... ..."Ah well, I guess you had to be there." He was trippin'! LOL!
WizardofOSS Posted Thursday at 07:49 PM Report Posted Thursday at 07:49 PM Two Astronauts went to the Moon and they crawled out of their spaceship. The sight was beautiful! However, nearby there was a Tipi and a Native American sitting there at a fire. As they approached, the Native saw them with wide eyes and a look of horror, saying... ..."Oh no! Not again!!"
WizardofOSS Posted Thursday at 07:55 PM Report Posted Thursday at 07:55 PM Why do wolves howl at the Moon? Because they don't know how to use cellphones.
WizardofOSS Posted Friday at 01:55 PM Report Posted Friday at 01:55 PM How do you know the Moon is going broke? When it's down to it's last quarter!
WizardofOSS Posted Friday at 03:57 PM Report Posted Friday at 03:57 PM How do you buy a pet spider when the pet shop is closed? Go to their web-site!
WizardofOSS Posted Friday at 04:08 PM Report Posted Friday at 04:08 PM Neighbor: Your kitten killed out Rottweiler! Me: What? Neighbor: I said, your kitten killed our Rottweiler! Me: Our cute little kitten? How could that happen? Neighbor: He choked on it! - the kitten survived...Dogs Drool, Catz Rool! LOL!!
WizardofOSS Posted Friday at 04:12 PM Report Posted Friday at 04:12 PM What do Japanese kittens take to school for lunch? A Bean-toe Box
WizardofOSS Posted Friday at 04:24 PM Report Posted Friday at 04:24 PM *God Creating Kittens* God: Make them soft and fluffy! Angel: Aww... God: Make them adorable and full of sweetness! Angel: That's so swe... God: ...and put razor blades on their toes!
WizardofOSS Posted Friday at 07:44 PM Report Posted Friday at 07:44 PM My In-Laws couldn't cope when their cat unexpectedly gave birth to a litter of nine adorable kittens, so my wife asked if I could put them in a sack and throw them in the river... I did as she asked, but it broke my heart... I liked her dad! He'll be missed.
WizardofOSS Posted Friday at 07:48 PM Report Posted Friday at 07:48 PM I adopted five kittens and named them Thumb, Index, Middle, Ring and Pinky... ...They sure are a handful to raise!
Xylem83 Posted yesterday at 09:07 PM Report Posted yesterday at 09:07 PM A cat enters a library and walks up to the counter: "I'd like some tuna please." The librarian leans forward and says: "Sir, this is a library." The cat says "Oh sorry" - whispers - "I'd like some tuna please." 1
WizardofOSS Posted 7 hours ago Report Posted 7 hours ago I knew it was going to be a bad day when I fell asleep on the school bus this morning,... ...especially since I was the one driving!
WizardofOSS Posted 7 hours ago Report Posted 7 hours ago What's yellow and can't swim? A schoolbus full of kids!
WizardofOSS Posted 7 hours ago Report Posted 7 hours ago Snoop Dogg is a huge fan of The Magic Schoolbus F'Rizzle...
WizardofOSS Posted 7 hours ago Report Posted 7 hours ago What happened to the Blonde who tried to blow up a school bus? She burned her lips on the tailpipe!
WizardofOSS Posted 7 hours ago Report Posted 7 hours ago A school bus rolled over with 22 kids inside... ...fortunately, there were only minor injuries!
WizardofOSS Posted 4 hours ago Report Posted 4 hours ago It turns out my High School Chemistry teacher was right... Alcohol is a Solution!
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