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Big Book of Dad Jokes.


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Posted

There are many way to make a women moan in romance.. dad jokes don’t count

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Posted

Have you heard of that guy that makes shoes out of fruit? He is a peach cobbler 

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Posted

I am looking for someone to brush there teeth with me every morning.. because my dentist says that brushing alone will not prevent cavities 

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Posted

A man was admitted to the hospital with 6 plastic horses up his butt . Doctors described hi condition as stable

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Posted

I wasn’t a fan of the new minion movie but then it gru on me

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Posted

What you call it when someone thanks there father in a piece of art .. a dadcation

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Posted

Why do melons have weddings?

They cantelope

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Posted

Dogs can't operate MRI machines

But catscan

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Posted

Why is my wallet like an onion?

Every time I open it I cry

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Posted

For all the Star Wars fans:

How many storm troopers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, because they are all on the dark side.

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Posted

How much does a chimney cost?

Nothing, it's on the house

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Posted
42 minutes ago, Warmandfuzzy said:

Why is my wallet like an onion?

Every time I open it I cry

Hey that’s like my wallet lol

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Posted
5 hours ago, Warmandfuzzy said:

Why is my wallet like an onion?

Every time I open it I cry

Me too!🤭

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Posted
8 hours ago, Warmandfuzzy said:

Dogs can't operate MRI machines

But catscan

This one is my favorite of yours so far

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Posted

What do you call a group of rabbits walking backwards.. a receding hareline

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Posted

I am pretty good at crastination . I may be a pro at it soon

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Posted

I was confused when my printer started playing music….   Turns out the printer was just jamming 

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Posted

New job starts soon in the railroad industry. Feels like I am finally on the right track

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Posted

My wife asked me what Easter candy I wanted. Then she rudely shut me up by say you better not say a peep

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Posted

My husband asked me to clear the table. .. I told him I need a running start

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Posted

What did one snowman say to the other ? Do you smell carrots ?

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Posted

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?   Tentacles 

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Posted

What do you call a doctor that’s always available?an on-call-ogist

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Posted

Why were "Tickle Me Elmos" recalled as being "inappropriate for children".

 

An employee misunderstood the quality control policy to give each new doll two "test tickles".

 

elmo GIF

 

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Posted

What does a nautical merchant do?

 

They sale!

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