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Big Book of Dad Jokes.


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Posted

A dog was standing next to the road one day, thinking about crossing it when a chicken walks up to him. The chicken says, "Don't do it man! You'll never hear the end of it!!"

  • snickering 1
Posted (edited)

Did you hear about the CIA using Chickens for espionage?

 

 

 

 

Not much is known. It's all Cluck and Dagger.

 

Chicken Pants GIF

Edited by WizardofOSS
  • snickering 1
Posted

What kind of conversations do Farmers have while milking their cows?

 

 

 

 

Udder nonsense.

 

cat drinking GIF

  • Eye Roll 1
Posted

Why didn't the Farmer tell jokes in front of his cows and sheep?

 

 

 

They had "herd" them all before.

 

Well Done Yes GIF by Aardman Animations

  • giggling 1
Posted (edited)

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet or paws?

 

 

 

 

Because they lac-toes!!

 

Sarcastic Who Knows GIF by VeeFriends

Edited by WizardofOSS
  • Haha 1
Posted

What happens when you get a promotion at the tree farm?

 

 

 

You become a branch manager!

frosty the snowman christmas movies GIF

  • giggling 1
Posted

What do you call people who work on a chicken farm?

 

 

 

 

Chicken tenders!

 

Spring Skipping GIF by Super Simple

  • Haha 1
Posted

Not Dino nuggies? 🦖 

Posted

What do you call a farm that raises both chickens and pigs?

 

 

 

A Chicken Bacon Ranch!

 

space GIF

Posted
1 minute ago, LittleBiscut said:

Not Dino nuggies? 🦖 

Nope, that would be how they treated Nerdy Dinosaurs in School....

 

They gave them Dino - Nuggies!!

bald head cbc GIF by Kim's Convenience

  • giggling 1
Posted

What sort of car does a tax cheat drive!!  A Dodge

Posted

What type of jewelry does the headless horseman wear ??   A neckless

  • giggling 1
  • Eye Roll 1
Posted

So a guy goes to the hospital and says doctor help me I am shrinking. And the doctor says now your just going to have to be a little patient 

  • giggling 2
Posted

I asked my daughter,”what’s a Mountain Dew? She answered as far as I know , it just sits there

  • giggling 1
  • snickering 1
Posted

How to diamonds get to know othe diamond’s better… carbon dating

  • 100 percent yes 1
  • Eye Roll 1
Posted

Why couldn't the Mexican Hunter use his hunting Bow?

 

 

 

Because he didn't habanero.

Hot Sauce Swag GIF by Sam Brown Video

  • Haha 1
Posted

How do tailors make pants last?

 

 

 

They make the shirt first!

200.gif

  • snickering 1
Posted

How did the Tailor die?

 

 

 

He committed sewicide.

  • Eye Roll 1
Posted (edited)

What did the town crier announce when they couldn't find the knight's missing attendant that afternoon?

 

 

 

"It's 4:04! Page not found!"

Animated GIF

Edited by WizardofOSS
  • snickering 1
Posted (edited)

How do knights communicate?

 

 

 

Chain Mail!

200.gif

Edited by WizardofOSS
  • giggling 1
Posted

An old saying goes.....

"Once a King, always a King!...

 

But, Once a Knight, is enough for any man!"  ~ Source unknown

heath ledger wink GIF

  • giggling 1
Posted

What does a Wizard take when he's sick?

 

 

 

Caster Oil.

 

Ryland Tews GIF by Hundreds of Beavers Movie

  • Hoorayyy 1
Posted

Did you here about the claustrophobic Astronaut.. she just needed space 

  • giggling 1
Posted

Why did the chicken put the egg under an axe …. To hatchet 

  • giggling 1
  • snickering 1
Posted

Why aren’t koalas considered bears ..   because they don’t have the koalafications

  • giggling 1
  • Eye Roll 1

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