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Big Book of Dad Jokes.


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Posted

What did the duck say when it bought chapstick?

 

 

Put it on my bill

  • giggling 2
Posted

What did the alpaca say to his date?

 

 

Want to go on a picnic? Alpaca lunch

  • Like 2
Posted

What was the child who wouldn't take a nap guilty of?

 

 

Resisting a rest

  • Like 1
  • giggling 1
Posted

In online RPG's, how do you escape an angry lumberjack coming at you?

 

 

 

 

You just log off.

 

Animated GIF

  • giggling 1
Posted

How do Lumberjacks find the wood they're looking for?

 

They use the Timber App!

 

app timber GIF

  • giggling 1
Posted

What's the difference between a miner and a lumberjack?

 

 

You don't get arrested for dating a lumberjack.

Hot Girl Summer Dudedad GIF

  • Haha 1
  • giggling 1
Posted

What did the Lumberjack say to the tree?

 

 

 

I saw you!!

 

chainsaw GIF

  • Eye Roll 1
Posted

A princess wants to find the best man to be her future husband. Her engineers devise a labyrinth of passages, traps and pitfalls to test their bravery. After all the suitors go in, only 4 princes make it through, but due to the dangers, three of them lost both hands and one escaped with only losing one hand. Which will she choose?

 

 

 

The Prince with one hand because he is the most handsome!

 

200.gif

  • Eye Roll 1
Posted

I nearly stepped on a trap door yesterday,

 

 

 

But I aint falling for that!!

 

Shocked Trap Door GIF by Cartoon Hangover

  • giggling 1
Posted

What happened when the Hunter triggered his Rabbit Trap?

 

 

 

It got caught on his hare.

 

Yell Bugs Bunny GIF by Looney Tunes

  • giggling 1
Posted

Three mice are talking at a bar about who's the toughest.

The first mouse says, "I'm so tough, people at my house put out Rat Poison and I simply grab it, break it up and use it in my morning coffee!

The second mouse says, "Aww...that's nothing. They try to get me with a Cat, but it's a fat lazy cat and I just outrun it."

The third Mouse says, "I don't have time for this, I got to go home and exercise..."

rats GIF

  • giggling 2
Posted

What cheese is made backwards.  Edam

  • Like 1
  • Eye Roll 1
Posted

I am giving up on gathering my hay . I’m gonna bale

  • giggling 4
Posted

Is anyway ever going to the fix the news. ..  it’s always breaking 

  • giggling 1
  • Eye Roll 1
Posted

Why do cats annoy veterinarians. They always say meow but never say where

  • Haha 1
  • giggling 1
Posted

What is James Bond’s called in wizarding world? Muggle07

  • Haha 1
  • giggling 1
Posted

I went on a couple of dates with a pirate,at first I was skeptical but then I spent a night with her . That’s when I got hooked

  • Like 1
  • giggling 2
Posted

How can you tell if a skeleton is sick?  If it’s coffin up a storm

  • giggling 2
Posted

I had a really sad Friday night now I am having a Saturday 

  • Hugs 1
Posted

How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb? One cannot but Toucan

Posted

What animal is the crispiest?   A crab cause it’s a crust-acean

  • giggling 2
Posted

What did the husband say to say to his wife after accidentally sticking his arms through the legs of his Jeans .. Honey I just shirt my pants

  • giggling 2
  • Eye Roll 1
Posted

Did you hear about the criminal breaking in his own house?   It was work from home day 

  • giggling 2
Posted (edited)

Who is the boss of the pea mafia? The podfather

Edited by beanbean
  • giggling 1
  • snickering 1

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