WizardofOSS Posted May 5 Report Posted May 5 What is a Freudian slip? When you say one thing but actually mean your mother. 1
WizardofOSS Posted May 5 Report Posted May 5 One day there were two muffins in the Oven when one muffin turns to the other and says, "It sure is getting hot in here!" The other muffin looks surprised and says, "Look! A talking muffin!!" 1
WizardofOSS Posted May 5 Report Posted May 5 I'm opening a funeral parlor for people of no specific religion... I'm calling it "Die Agnostic Services" 1
WizardofOSS Posted May 5 Report Posted May 5 Why did Pirates always name their swords after women? Because they were Cutlasses, not Cutlads! 1
WizardofOSS Posted May 5 Report Posted May 5 What is it called when you get your lover's soul magically enchanted into a sword? A Bae-Blade! 1
WizardofOSS Posted May 5 Report Posted May 5 What did the Beaver find after his home was destroyed by a flood? Not a dam thing! 1
WizardofOSS Posted May 5 Report Posted May 5 Why do you have to act quickly during a flood? Because it's an emergent Sea! 1
WizardofOSS Posted May 5 Report Posted May 5 Did you know the Ocean isn't always salty? Sometimes it's peppery. It depends on the Season. Bonus...... 1
WizardofOSS Posted May 5 Report Posted May 5 I was going to tell you all a joke about Time travelling, But you all didn't like it. 1
WizardofOSS Posted May 5 Report Posted May 5 Why are people with Dextrocardia so nice and generous? Because their heart is in the right place. Spoiler Dextrocardia is a medical condition in which the Heart is actually on the right side on the torso instead of the normal left side. 1
WizardofOSS Posted May 5 Report Posted May 5 I was proud to a part of the part-time Blackwater Village Volunteer Firefighter Department.... In all that time, we never lost a single foundation! Never! Spoiler Funny thing is that this is a true story! I was a volunteer firefighter. However, my deepest respect and thanks to all the paid, full time professional firefighters out there!! Keep up the fight and save lives! 1
beanbean Posted May 6 Report Posted May 6 6 hours ago, WizardofOSS said: I was proud to a part of the part-time Blackwater Village Volunteer Firefighter Department.... In all that time, we never lost a single foundation! Never! Reveal hidden contents Funny thing is that this is a true story! I was a volunteer firefighter. However, my deepest respect and thanks to all the paid, full time professional firefighters out there!! Keep up the fight and save lives! Haha I do appreciate your posts it hear. If I ever repeat a joke that you told I am sorry we have a lot of posts in here now lol 2
beanbean Posted May 6 Report Posted May 6 Only two years ago , my wives gynecologist delivered pizza. . The both still thing it’s a awful name 1
beanbean Posted May 6 Report Posted May 6 Why did John Cena go to the eye doctor? Because he looked in the mirror and his reflection said you can’t see me 1
WizardofOSS Posted May 6 Report Posted May 6 A Policeman came up to me with a drug sniffing dog and said, "This dog tells me that you may have some drugs." "I'm on drugs? You're the one talking to dogs!" I replied 1
WizardofOSS Posted May 6 Report Posted May 6 My friend's dog died yesterday, so to cheer her up, I went out and got her an identical dog. She was pretty upset... She said, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs??!!" 1
WizardofOSS Posted May 6 Report Posted May 6 I can't take my dog to the park anymore, because all the Ducks and Geese keep trying to bite him! I guess that's what I get for buying a pure-bread dog! 1
WizardofOSS Posted May 6 Report Posted May 6 NSFW Spoiler A Dog and a Cat are argueing about who Humans love more. The Dog says, "Humans like us more. They even named a tooth called the "Canine" after us. That proves they love us more because they named an important body part after us!!" The Cat says, "Guess what? You're not going to win this one!" 1
WizardofOSS Posted May 6 Report Posted May 6 In America, Dogs are also referred to as K9. In China, they are E10.
WizardofOSS Posted May 6 Report Posted May 6 If all dogs go to heaven, where do cats go? Purrrgatory! 1
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