Jump to content
DDlg Forum & Community Welcome home !

Big Book of Dad Jokes.


Recommended Posts

Posted

Why are dogs afraid to go to space?

 

 

 

 

Because of the vacuum!!

Zero Gravity Reaction GIF

  • You got treats 1
Posted

I entered my Chihuahua in an "Ugliest Dog" contest and I won first place!!

 

 

 

 

The Chihuahua won third.

ernest p worrell 90s GIF mean chihuahua dog GIF 

  • giggling 1
Posted

My dog ate a whole bag of scrabble tiles, so I rushed him to the Vet Hospital...

 

 

 

 

...No word yet!!

I Love U Heart GIF by Bilbareed

  • Like 1
Posted

What is a terrible name for a dog.

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, yes it is!

Confused What Is It GIF by Nebraska Humane Society

  • Eye Roll 1
Posted

I spotted an albino Dalmation the other day.

 

 

 

 

It was the least I could do!

Dots Changing GIF by Barbara Pozzi

  • I'm so jelly 1
Posted

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot...

 

 

 

 

...We had to take the bike away.

Like A Boss Dog GIF

  • giggling 1
Posted

Why didn't the dog answer the phone?

 

 

 

 

There was no collar ID!

Corgi Milo GIF

  • Eye Roll 1
Posted

How are dog catchers paid?

 

 

 

 

By the pound!

driving huckleberry hound GIF

  • snickering 1
Posted

My dog is a genius! I asked him what 2 minus 2 was....

 

 

 

 

 

 

...and he said nothing!!

puzzle boomerang GIF

  • snickering 1
Posted

Ok...enough Dog jokes...I'll joke about cats tomorrow. For now we'll take the paws. 🤪

 

Cat Paws GIF

  • Blushing 1
Posted

Breaking news!! The CEO of IKEA was just elected to be prime minister!! First on the agenda is to assemble his cabinet 

  • giggling 1
  • Eye Roll 1
Posted

If you want to taco about anything,, remember I’m nacho average listener 

  • giggling 1
Posted

Why did the cook tell jokes to his soup?  He wanted to make it a laughing stock

  • giggling 1
Posted

What kind of music you play when you’re fishing? Something catchy!

  • Like 1
Posted

What is captain hook’s favorite kind of humor??   Deadpan

  • Like 1
Posted

You know how in some sports they toss the balls to fans ? Your not supposed to do that in bowling I learned that the hard way

  • Like 1
  • giggling 1
Posted

When single ladies reach the age of 45+, they tend to start collecting cats...

 

 

 

 

This condition is natural and is called Many Paws.

hey arnold nicksplat GIF

  • giggling 1
Posted

What do you call it when cats rebel?

 

 

 

 

Mew-tiny!!

Cat Illuminati GIF

 

  • giggling 1
Posted (edited)

Why are there no cats on Mars?

 

 

 

 

 

Curiosity killed them all!

 

mars GIF by National Geographic Channel

Spoiler

If you don't know, Curiosity was the name of one of the Mars Rovers sent there! I know science and space nerds who love this joke!!  LOL!!!

 

Edited by WizardofOSS
  • Haha 1
Posted

I think my cats are communists....

 

 

 

 

They keep asking for free food and talking about Mao!

Karl Marx Marxism GIF by Rosa-Luxemburg-Stiftung

  • Haha 1
Posted

Why are cats better than babies?

 

 

 

 

Because when you're done holding the cat, you can just drop it.

catapult GIF

(This would be so fun too!!)

  • Eye Roll 1
Posted

Studies show that Atheists are more likely to collect Cats as pets than Christians...

 

 

 

 

Because owning Christians as pets isn't legal, obviously!

Barking Good Boy GIF

  • Eye Roll 1
Posted

Why are cats so relaxed?

 

 

 

 

Because they live in the meow.

Cat Chill GIF by USC Esports

  • snickering 1
Posted (edited)

Why do cats make the fluffiest omelets?

 

 

 

 

They have the best whiskers!

200.gif

Edited by WizardofOSS
  • Shy 1
Posted

I never understood why women love cats.

Cats are independent, don't listen, don't come in when you call, stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep...

 

 

 

In other words, all the qualities they hate in men, they love in cats!

Aidy Bryant Snl GIF by Saturday Night Live

  • giggling 1

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...