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Big Book of Dad Jokes.


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Posted

What scam do cats always fall for?

 

 

 

 

Phishing!

Cat Fish GIF by Klaus

  • snickering 1
Posted

Why can't cats drive boats in Germany?

 

 

 

 

Because it's fur-boatin'!

cats sailor GIF

  • giggling 1
Posted

I just found out that I am allergic to cats....

 

 

 

 

 

Either that or I undercooked it.

Dance Pounce GIF

  • Eye Roll 1
Posted (edited)

The CIA discovered a Russian plot to use cats to control small submarines to attack American ships! Not to be out-done, the US Navy then started training Dogs to do the same thing to the Russians...

 

 

 

 

...they called their trained dogs "Sub-Woofers".

zeus and roxanne dogs GIF

Edited by WizardofOSS
  • giggling 1
Posted

Where do cats stand when waiting for a train ride at the carnival?

 

 

 

 

In the Fee Line!

Animated GIF

  • Thank You 1
Posted

If cats have nine lives, what happens when cats are exposed to radiation such as an X-Ray?

 

 

 

 

They develop into 18 half-lives!

Art Cat GIF

  • giggling 1
Posted

What language do cats speak?

 

 

 

 

Purrsian!

Dubai Uae GIF by LilSappys

  • Love button 1
Posted

Where do cats keep their lipstick, keys, cellphone, catnip and everything else they ever may need?

 

 

 

 

In their Purrrs.

Kate Spade Cat GIF by kate spade new york

  • giggling 1
Posted

Did you know that cats can jump higher than houses!

 

Despite the fact that cats have great agility, strong hind legs, and can generate huge amounts of pushing force,...

 

 

 

 

Houses can't jump.

I Belive I Can Fly Blue Sky GIF

  • Haha 1
Posted

What's a cat's favorite color?

 

 

 

 

Purrple!

Stop Motion Love GIF by Slanted Studios

  • giggling 1
Posted

Why was the rabbit so happy? Cause some bunny loved him 

  • Like 1
Posted

Did you know that if you live across the street from a cemetery you can’t be buried there?    You have to die first

  • giggling 1
  • Eye Roll 1
Posted

How do antique dealers greet each other ?  Hey so what’s old with you?

Posted

I had a great conversation with a dolphin just now. We just clicked 

  • giggling 1
Posted

How a can you tell if a jokes truly a dad joke? It’s apparent

  • snickering 1
Posted

*Graze on knuckles* what are you looking at?

Oii son what’s what on your hand?

Dad I was cleaning up the neighbourhood 😏

  • Like 1
Posted

They told me to follow my dreams so I went back to bed

  • Like 1
Posted

I almost crashed my car into a broken down ice cream truck , he really should have put some cones down 

  • giggling 1
Posted

What do pigs use when they get hurt?

 

 

 

 

 

Oink-ment!

Go Figure Whatever GIF by VeeFriends

Posted

What do you call a pig with three eyes?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Piiig!

Looking The Third GIF by Gunmaunofficial

Posted

What do you call a Pig who's very clever?

 

 

 

 

 

Cunningham.

Dance Mic Drop GIF by Alba Paris

  • Eye Roll 1
Posted

What do pigs like to listen to?

 

 

 

 

Ham Radio.

masha GIF

  • Eye Roll 1
Posted

A pig walks into a Tattoo shop and asks for a Tattoo.

"What kind you want?" the artists asked.

"I want something that makes me look wealthy!" the pig replied.

 

 

 

The artist tattooed a large black rectangle on the pig's back.

Work Money GIF by Tickled Pinque Cosmetics

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