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Big Book of Dad Jokes.


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Posted

How can people claim Walt Disney was anti-semitic?

 

 

 

 

When one of the most famous songs was "When Jewish upon a Star!"

Shooting Star Love GIF

Posted

Studies have shown that men develop a dating type based on their favorite Disney Princess. I had a friend who was really into Cinderella and exclusively dated Blonds. Another loved Snow White and is married to a woman with obsidian black hair. I was really into the Little Mermaid and that's why I'm not allowed in fish markets anymore.

 

The Little Mermaid Yes GIF

 

 

Spoiler

This is so me....I always liked Ariel's flaming red hair. To this day I do like redheads. So hot!! Rawr... ;) 

 

Posted (edited)

Woke Disney has gone too far!

First it was He/Him, then She/Her, then They/Them...

 

 

 

Now they have an entire TV show called And/or!!

Cassian Andor GIF by Star Wars

Edited by WizardofOSS
Posted

Disney finally released Yoda's full name. It is....

 

 

 

 

Yoda Lay-Hee-Hoo!!

Hey You Hello GIF by Rodney Dangerfield

Posted

Which Disney princess is always on dating apps?

 

 

 

 

Tinderella.

Hey You Hello GIF by Mashed

  • giggling 1
Posted

Why does Disney post warning signs about the local wildlife?

 

 

 

 

Don't their Gators make ticking sounds as they approach?

crocodile smile GIF

Posted

Did you know a Disney princess was arrested by mistake?

 

 

 

 

They thought it was someone Elsa!

Disney Eating GIF

  • giggling 1
Posted

And finally....

Walt Disney has a sharp pain in his knee. He starts rubbing it, icing it and elevating it on a pillow. The next few days, it only gets worse. He decides to go to the Doctor and report the pain.

"Which Knee is hurting you Walt?" the Doctor asked.

Pointing to his left knee, Walt said, "Disney!"

Carhartt GIF by BuzzFeed

  • giggling 1
Posted

What do you call an upset stomach, tummy fury

Posted

Why did the chicken only go halfway across the street . Because she wanted to lay it on the line

  • giggling 1
Posted

What do you call a person that collects all the plants? A horderculturist

Posted

Just saw a guy running down the road I yelled at him are you a super hero? He yelled no I didn’t pay for my haircut 

  • giggling 1
Posted

Somebody stole a toilet from the police station. And they have nothing to go on now

  • giggling 1
Posted

who takes a pooooo station and whyyyy

Posted
5 hours ago, Sweetbabygirl_heartkitty99 said:

who takes a pooooo station and whyyyy

Lol I don’t know why

Posted
14 hours ago, beanbean said:

Lol I don’t know why

What time is it when you need to guy to the dentist .. tooth hurty

  • giggling 1
Posted

What do lawyers like to wear ?? Lawsuits 

  • giggling 1
Posted

People need to stop putting flyers on my windshield,  I don’t want to see a band called parking violation at the courthouse 

  • ROFL 1
Posted

Jokes about elevated terrain aren’t just funny. .. there hill areas 

Posted

If letters gamble  .. do they alpha bet?

Posted
1 hour ago, beanbean said:

People need to stop putting flyers on my windshield,  I don’t want to see a band called parking violation at the courthouse 

Thanks @beanbean I really needed that tonight! 😆🤣😂

Posted

I won $3 Million dollars from the lottery this weekend, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity....

 

 

 

 

Now I only have $2,999,999.75 left!

Scrooge Mcduck Money GIF by University of Alaska Fairbanks

Posted

"What are you going to do this weekend?" a friend asked me

 

"Buy a new pair of glasses!" I said

 

"What then?" he replied

 

I replied, "We'll see."

glasses GIF

  • Like 1
Posted

My friend asked, "Do you want to come see my band play? The doors open at 8pm!"

 

 

 

 

I replied, "How is that possible? I thought Jim Morrison was dead?"

jim morrison GIF by The Doors

Posted

A friend of mine is opening a bar that hosts brass bands every weekend...

 

 

 

 

He's calling it HornPub.

happy marching band GIF

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