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Big Book of Dad Jokes.


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Posted

I made a movie about farm life....

 

 

 

 

...but the quality was grainy and the plot was corny.

horse hr GIF by hr-fernsehen

Posted

True story! I remember going on my Senior field trip to Romania to stay with a host family for a week. We toured the city and villages and they even had a Zoo too! Well, being proud of their Zoo,  we went to see it. However because of communism, it was very poor and there weren't any animals in this Zoo except for a single dog.

It was a Shih Tzu. :( 

dog jesus GIF

Posted

I had twenty dollars after buying a new gun , the holster was going to cost 40 dollars , so I bought a halfster

  • giggling 1
Posted

How do churches help the poor ? They share the prophet’s 

  • snickering 1
Posted

NASA is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They are calling it Apollo G

  • giggling 1
Posted

A sperm diner, a carpenter and Julius Caesar walked in to a bar     He came , he saw , he conquered 

Posted

Did you her about the gymnasts that got in a fight in July? It was a summer-assault 

  • snickering 1
Posted

What do you call a line of people waiting to buy the newest Barbie doll?

 

 

 

 

A Barbie Queue

GIF by Barbie

Posted

So, I was buying a Barbie Doll for my niece at Walmart and I had a question, so I asked a salesperson

"Does Barbie come with Ken?"

"Oh no!" they replied, "Barbie only dates Ken, she comes with G.I. Joe."

Will Smith Reaction GIF

Posted (edited)

A Duck walked into a Harry Potter toy store, and he asked the man, running the store: "Hey...

 

 

 

 

...got any Snapes?"

Happy Dance GIF

Edited by WizardofOSS
Posted

Why did the Australian fisherman get kicked out of the toy store?

 

 

 

 

He was throwing shrimp on the Barbie.

Jimmy Fallon Box GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Posted

I think EBay needs to update themselves. I searched for Cigarette Lighter and...

 

 

 

 

 

15,000 matches showed up!

fire burning GIF

Posted

Warning! Game of Thrones spoilers...

 

 

 

 

 

 

...will make your car look stupid!

Nissan Z GIF by ImportWorx

Posted

Did you hear about the robbery at the "Oversized Games" store?

 

 

 

 

 

It was a huge RISK he took!

Angry Give Up GIF by Hyper RPG

Posted

How does Mario communicate with his partner when he dies?

 

 

 

 

With a Luigi Board.

Communicate Lets Play GIF by Deadstream

Posted

I got so angry at the game the other day, I slammed my mouse...

 

 

 

 

...the pet race after it was kind of awkward.

Rat GIF by ViralHog

Posted

What is the difference between Game of Thrones and the social platform "X" (formerly twitter)?

 

 

 

 

"X" only has 140 characters.

game of thrones GIF

Posted (edited)

During the weekly Bingo Game at the American Legion, the Bingo caller began choking then collapsed.

It appeared that calling Bingo games in smokey halls for 40 years had finally taken their toll.

Struggling to breathe, the man was rushed to ER, then to surgery.

The surgeon then successfully removed a mass from his windpipe.

After waking from surgery, the man asked the surgeon if the mass was cancer...

 

 

 

...the surgeon replied, "Fortunately no. It was B9."

ren and stimpy nicksplat GIF

Edited by WizardofOSS
Posted

Where can you find the saddest fruit seeds? In the depths of dis-pear

Posted

Why does the ocean roar ? You would too if you had crabs on your bottom

Posted

What the most popular dog breed among magicians?labracadabrador

Posted

What do you call a distant dad? A farther

  • giggling 1
Posted

Why did the turtle cross the road ? To get to the shell station 

Posted

My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much!

 

 

 

 

...I mean, what a stupid thing to fallout 4!

Fallout 3 GIF

Posted

I met my current girlfriend at a midnight game release.

 

 

 

 

It was Destiny!!

Destiny 2 Space GIF by Xbox

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