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Big Book of Dad Jokes.


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Posted

How many seasons of Game of Thrones does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

 

 

 

 

Eight if you want to screw it completely!

angry game of thrones GIF

Yes, yes he does! 😠

Posted

My friend is kind of upset about which video game system to get for his birthday...

 

 

 

 

...nobody can console him!

Video Games Please GIF by Pudgy Penguins

Posted

Video games are great! They let you try out your wildest fantasies!!

 

 

 

 

For example, on the Sims, you can have a job and a House!

Pizza Oven Cooking GIF by The Sims

Posted

What do you call the game of "Operation" if the batteries are dead?

 

 

 

 

"Autopsy"

wes craven GIF

Posted

My family plays a lot of games during our game nights, but one is never mentioned...

 

 

 

 

...we don't talk about Uno, no, no!

Stephanie Beatriz Reaction GIF by Regal

Posted

There recalling a brand of eye drops.. i really did not see that coming 

  • giggling 1
Posted

My can opener broke now it’s a can’t opener 

Posted

Why does a chicken have to click twice to find her wrench?        Because she keeps it in her two bocks

Posted

Why was the chicken itchy?    It had eggzema

  • giggling 1
Posted

Why did a fly in the restaurant order a turd without onions??   Onions make his breath smell

Posted

If satan was bald      , would there be hell toupees 

Posted

Bouncer I am going to have to ask you to leave ? Me: why ?  Bouncer: because this is my trampoline and I don’t know you

  • giggling 2
Posted

Why did the child cross the road?

 

 

 

 

To get to the other slide!

Fun Sliding GIF by Pudgy Penguins

Posted

Did you hear about the kid who made a business out of tying shoelaces on the playground?

 

 

 

 

It was a knot for profit business!

Fran Healy Funny Meme GIF by Travis

Posted

The police were called to a local playground with reports of hundreds of chickens running amok there...

 

 

 

 

...they thought it was a prank call, but now they suspect fowl play.

Bird Wow GIF by JustViral.Net

Posted

A few high schoolers are hanging around after school, when a new kid walks by,

"Hey kid! What's your name?" One asks.

The new kids replies, "God"

"No way!" he exclaims

The new kid retorts, "Yahweh!"

Season 1 Friendship GIF by Amazon Prime Video

Posted

Why was the Banana afraid of playgrounds?

 

 

 

 

It was scared of the Monkey Bars!

illustration banana GIF by Li-Anne Dias

  • Like 1
Posted

A vote for better slides in state parks is on the ballot this year...

 

 

 

 

...too bad I live in a swing state!

Illustration Register To Vote GIF by Winnie Gu 顾韵昀

Posted

Why did the Ghost get arrested at the playground today?

 

 

 

 

He was arrested for distributing Boos to Minors!

Halloween Ghost GIF

Posted

A man tried to assault me with milk ! How dairy 

  • giggling 2
Posted

Don’t ever make fun of a dot … you don’t want to too diss a point 

  • ROFL 1
  • giggling 1
Posted

I had to hire an exorcist           .. the only warning he gave me is that if I fell behind in my payments I get repossessed 

Posted

Who was the most blood thirsty antelope in history? Vlad the impala 

  • giggling 2
Posted

Never discuss infinity with a mathematician.. they can go on about it forever 

  • Like 1
  • giggling 1
Posted

What did one knife say to the other? Your dull mate i meant tacks sharper then you

  • giggling 1

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