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Big Book of Dad Jokes.


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Posted

What do you call a stuffed animal version of Mount Rushmore?

 

 

 

 

Mount Plushmore

Mount Rushmore Thanksgiving GIF by South Dakota Tourism

Posted

I bought my daughter some stuffed animals for her birthday. She screamed!

 

 

 

 

It probably wasn't a good idea to buy them from the Taxidermist. :( 

side taxidermy GIF

Posted

When I was a kid, I secretly performed operations on my stuffies inside a blanket fort in the living room.

 

 

 

 

It was an undercover operation.

troy and abed GIF

Posted

What do you get after animals have gathered to eat?

 

 

 

 

 

Stuffed Animals!

that last dog tho GIF by Digg

Posted

A girl cat asked her boyfriend cat where her stuffie mouse was at. He said, "That was a stuffed mouse? I thought it was real so I ate it!"

 

 

 

 

She responds, "you're why we can't have mice things!"

GIF by Knisters

Posted

I just got a "Humpty Dumpty" toy from Aldi's!

 

 

 

They even had Aldi "King's Men" and Aldi "King's Horses"!

Check This Out Kids Show GIF by Super Simple

Posted (edited)

What do you call a toy Alpaca which has obtained enlightenment?

 

 

 

 

The Dolly Llama!

Fitness Yoga GIF by dalaillamazen

Edited by WizardofOSS
Posted

I work in a toy factory where dracula dolls are made. There's only one other worker on the production line...

 

 

 

 

...so I have to make every second count.

ron fricke loop GIF

Posted

What's a rapper's favorite toy?

 

 

 

 

A yo-yo yo!

Yo Yo Yo Yes GIF by Osvezilna fronta

Posted

Why did the constipated man rob everything in the toy store except one teddy bear?

 

Think Winnie The Pooh GIF

 

 

 

 

 

He was just unable to take a pooh! 🤣

Posted

Which Lord of the Rings character was upset because he had no toys to play with?

 

 

 

 

 

Legoless

the hobbit GIF

Posted

How warm is a baby at birth?

 

 

 

 

 

Womb temperature!

Baby Family GIF by UNICEF

Posted

I had a farmer friend who used his stimulus check to buy baby chicks for his farm. You know,...

 

 

 

 

 

...he got the money for nothing, and the chicks for free!

music video yo yos GIF

Posted

During Covid, everyone got busy and we had another baby boom starting in 2020. By 2033, exactly 13 years after covid, they'll give a name to that generation...

 

 

 

 

 

 

..the Quaranteens!

Crowd Mcr GIF by My Chemical Romance

Posted

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To show the armadillo how to do 

Posted

My dream job is to work with mirrors. I can really see myself doing that

Posted

I ordered a book called how to scam people online. It’s been six months and it’s still hasn’t come

  • giggling 1
Posted

I hate my job crushing aluminum cans at the recycling center!! It soda pressing 

  • Like 1
Posted

My plane was sick the other day . Yes it had the flew

  • Eye Roll 1
Posted

What do you call a hen that can count her own eggs?a mathmachicken

  • giggling 1
Posted

My cloning machine finally worked . I am beside my self 

Posted

If Minecraft ever taught us anything, it's that...

 

 

 

 

 

...you shouldn't spend diamonds on hoes.

Unimpressed Straw Hat GIF by Xbox

Posted

I'm trying to make a meme on breaking bedrock in Minecraft...

 

 

 

 

 

...but it's way too hard!

Wizard Explore GIF by Xbox

Posted

What genre is the Minecraft Movie?

 

 

 

 

 

A Block-Buster!

thriller GIF

Posted

Why can't an Ender Dragon read a book?

 

 

 

 

 

Because it always starts at the end!

Explore Video Game GIF by Minecraft

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