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Big Book of Dad Jokes.


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Posted

Sometimes when I am driving I see Lots for sale . But it’s disappointing because I always seem to miss the sale

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Posted

If I die of bronchitis I will ask for a closed casket . In case I have a coffin fit

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Posted

What do you call a charming young strawberry? A rizzberry

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Posted

In the middle of a conversation my friend rudely interrupted me and tried to seek me an extension cord ! It was a shameless plug

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I mad a play list for hiking, it had music  from peanuts , the Cranberries and Eminem, I call it my trail mix 

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Posted

What the favorite pizza sauce from the lion ,witch and the wardrobe?  Marinarnia

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Posted

What animal is the most pessimistic? Horses because they say nay all the time

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Posted

Does a boat travel in km? Obviously knot!

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Posted

Told my wife to be honest and just embrace her mistakes. She gave me a big old hug for some reason 

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Posted

A vet help cure my very sick donkey, I thanked him for Saving my ass

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Posted

My son made a fort out of footwear I told him I liked it , but I actually think it socks 

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Why did the chicken cross the road ,! Because it got a little cocky

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I told my son the other day that hi mom was like a beer “he said how is mom like beer dad ? I siad she keeps my belly full and wallet empty 

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Did you know? If monkeys share an Amazon account they would be known as Prime Mates

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Posted

I spilled tea on my leg           .      I’m now now chai knees

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Is there anyway to turn the couch in to a bed? Not sofa as I know 

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What Microsoft product gossips the most? Excel it like to spreadsheet

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Did you hear about the arsonist that got shot he flu? Sick burn

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What kind of computer is the best singer?A Dell

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What kind of trousers do you wear in Tokyo?  Japants

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Never trust a ….. lionfish

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Which flower can you never trust? A lie-lac

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How to female sheep turn around?they do a ewe-turn of course 

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What car does a millionaire sheep drive ? A Lamborghini 

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What do you call a woman born between two thorns ?  A Rose

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