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Big Book of Dad Jokes.


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Posted

Did you hear about the bedbug that’s going to be a mom ?    She will have her babies in the spring 

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Posted

How does a war time ally show their appreciation?  Many tanks

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Posted

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local pool . So I gave him a glass of water 

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Posted

My jokes are dangerous and could kill you!! They are truly dadly

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Posted
On 5/28/2025 at 8:05 AM, karan said:

I love good jokes and humor, unfortunately i never have good jokes to share 

Me too...but I love reading these! 

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Posted
On 5/28/2025 at 9:05 AM, karan said:

I love good jokes and humor, unfortunately i never have good jokes to share 

Don’t sell yourself short I know most of they jokes are bad kinda what makes it fun lol

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Posted
On 5/28/2025 at 11:05 PM, karan said:

I love good jokes and humor, unfortunately i never have good jokes to share 

Bad dad jokes and jokes in in general are why I created this thread.
So please don’t hesitate to share any jokes you want, what is a bad joke to you maybe so funny to someone else and the reason they laughed today! 

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Posted
On 5/28/2025 at 11:49 AM, WizardofOSS said:

Statistics show that 5 out of 4 people are bad at math!!

Confused James Franco GIF

It took my dyslexic self far too long to work out what the issue was with the statistic. Then I laughed 10 times harder. 

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Posted

I have had the worst time headspace wise over the last few months. Today for the first time in AGES I decided to open this thread back up and read through some of the jokes. 
 

thank you @beanbean and @WizardofOSS for all the jokes you are constantly adding. Today they have made me laugh more than I have in a long time. 
I also learnt my collection of jokes that I thought was extensive actually isn’t… like at all!!

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Posted
3 hours ago, SweetLittleDreamer said:

It took my dyslexic self far too long to work out what the issue was with the statistic. Then I laughed 10 times harder. 

OMG!!!  I laughed so hard!!  That's the proper reaction to that joke!! I'm glad you got it! That was a great compliment, thank you!! 

Posted

Onward!!! - from the web-series "Journey Quest".....

 

A Paladin took his car into his mechanic and said, "When ever I'm driving, I get this strange urge to run over Pedestrians!"

The mechanic crawled under the car and said, "Hmm....here's the problem...
 

 

 

 

 

...Your alignment is off!"

Happy Star Wars GIF

 

Posted

I'm writing a fantasy novel about two knights. One who turns to the dark side as a Rogue and one who finds solace in the light as a Paladin. I'm calling it...

 

 

 

 

 

...Silent Knight, Holy Knight

War Fighting GIF by lilpotates

Posted

What kind of jokes would a Paladin tell?

 

 

 

 

Something lawful....totally lawful...so lawful it will make you groan.

Ttrpg Oops GIF by zoefannet

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Posted

How many Paladins does it take to install a ceiling lamp?

 

 

 

 

Two, one to screw in the bolts and one to uphold the light!

Idea Lightbulb GIF by Warner Bros. Pictures

Posted

Old Man: Gather round and hear the story of how I fought the Dragon!

Kids: Let's hear it!!

Old Man: I was wandering the woods, eager for excitement when I came across this beast! It had the head and tail of a monstrous lizard, the body and feet of a great bear, wings of a bat, and the strength and back of a powerful bull!

Kids: *Gasp*

Old Man: I leapt at the horrid thing, but it was as cold and impassive as a statue! Even my hardest strikes bounced aside as if it's skin was made of concrete!

Kids: What did you do?

Old Man: In my fury, I grabbed a stick and raised it at it's gaze, ready to deal a mighty blow with all my strength...

 

 

 

 

 

 

...and was kicked out and banned from Mini-Golf.

season 4 grandpa simpson GIF

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Posted

What do you call a cute Bullfighter?

 

 

 

 

Matadorable!

hey arnold nicksplat GIF

Posted

I saw two Mexicans fighting each other yesterday,

 

 

 

 

 

...it was Juan on Juan!

Babies Fighting Baby GIF by Saturday Night Live

Posted

What do you call a grateful rat?

Gratatouille

 

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Posted

Everyone remembers Bruce Lee and how fast he was… but nobody remembers his brother and how much faster he was.. his name was Sudden 

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Posted

People are usually shocked when they find out I’m not a good electrician 

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Posted

Dad! I wanna be a Fighter Pilot when I grow up!!

 

 

 

 

 

Dad: You can't do both!

Plane Airplane GIF

Posted

What do you call a 60 year old test pilot?

 

 

 

 

 

A sonic boomer

Flying Ariana Grande GIF by NETFLIX

Posted

How does a penguin build its house?
 

Igloos it together 

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Posted

Muslim women are the best fighters! Not only can they attack with their low jabs, but...

 

 

 

 

 

 

...they can also attack with their hijabs!

Empowering Saudi Arabia GIF by Hello All

Posted

Why did David Hasselhoff start going by just The Hoff?

It is 100% less hassle 

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