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Big Book of Dad Jokes.


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Posted

In the news, Pakistan just shot down two Indian airplanes...

 

 

 

 

 

...using Sikh-heating missles!

Jet Fighter Battlefield GIF by NVIDIA GeForce

Posted

Obviously, Adults make better fighters than infants,...

 

 

 

 

 

...and yet more battles are won by infantry than adultery? Think about it....

bruce lee baby GIF

Posted

What noise does James Bonds doorbell make?

dong ding dong

  • giggling 1
Posted

Ok, that last one was worth a thousand jokes....I'm stopping for the night before I go insane!...

 

 

 

 

 

Too late...

Losing My Mind GIF

Posted
5 hours ago, SweetLittleDreamer said:

I have had the worst time headspace wise over the last few months. Today for the first time in AGES I decided to open this thread back up and read through some of the jokes. 
 

thank you @beanbean and @WizardofOSS for all the jokes you are constantly adding. Today they have made me laugh more than I have in a long time. 
I also learnt my collection of jokes that I thought was extensive actually isn’t… like at all!!

Glad you enjoy them that’s the reason I post them a little bit of joy I can spread makes it worth it

Posted
5 hours ago, SweetLittleDreamer said:

Bad dad jokes and jokes in in general are why I created this thread.
So please don’t hesitate to share any jokes you want, what is a bad joke to you maybe so funny to someone else and the reason they laughed today! 

This is true almost all mine can be considered bad 😂

Posted
16 minutes ago, SweetLittleDreamer said:

Why did David Hasselhoff start going by just The Hoff?

It is 100% less hassle 

Oh Hasselhoff joke nice

Posted

What dinosaur could jump higher than a house?

 

All of them, houses can't jump. 🤭

  • giggling 2
Posted

What kind of dog does the best magic tricks? 

A Labracadabrador. 

  • giggling 1
Posted

What do you call a dino fossil that just lies there? 

Lazy bones. 

  • giggling 1
Posted
47 minutes ago, little locket said:

What do you call a dino fossil that just lies there? 

Lazy bones. 

Is a d dinosaur a fossil 😂😂

Posted

I took my wife to an orchard to look at trees for her birthday…. Turns out that’s not the type Apple Watch she meant.

  • Like 1
  • giggling 2
Posted
1 hour ago, SweetLittleDreamer said:

I took my wife to an orchard to look at trees for her birthday…. Turns out that’s not the type Apple Watch she meant.

lol that’s a good place to watch apples 😂

Posted

Apparently my ex would call me panda when taking about me with her friends . She said all he ever does is eat ,shoots and leaves 

  • giggling 2
Posted

I asked my wife why she didn’t want to drive her new car around fo the first ninety days she had it,?

Posted

She said it was part of the agreement, zero percent interest for ninety days

  • Haha 1
  • giggling 1
Posted

This morning I tripped over a box of Kleenex and thought I hurt myself. Turns out it was just tissue damage

  • Haha 1
  • ROFL 1
Posted

 girlfriend told me I didn’t I didn’t need mansplane about power tools . Apparently she knows the drill

  • giggling 1
Posted

My buddy is getting married tomorrow we spent the whole night hanging upside down . That was one hell of a bat-chelor party 

  • giggling 1
Posted (edited)

My girlfriend yesterday said she liked me like she liked her tea ‘ I was like what you mean “ she said in a bag underwater … yikes

Edited by beanbean
  • Shocked 1
Posted

My buddy was arrested for stealing cables at a construction site ! A copper arrested him

  • giggling 1
Posted

A women who dated 50 ghosts finally married one… she found her boo

  • giggling 1
Posted

Why is it so important to be super careful when eating wild fungi? Because there isn’t mushroom for error 

  • giggling 1
Posted

What’s a monks weapon of choice ? Nunchucks

  • giggling 2
Posted
On 5/30/2025 at 12:20 AM, SweetLittleDreamer said:

I have had the worst time headspace wise over the last few months. Today for the first time in AGES I decided to open this thread back up and read through some of the jokes. 
 

thank you @beanbean and @WizardofOSS for all the jokes you are constantly adding. Today they have made me laugh more than I have in a long time. 
I also learnt my collection of jokes that I thought was extensive actually isn’t… like at all!!

I agree! I check in regularly just to laugh awhile! 

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