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Big Book of Dad Jokes.


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How does a fish get high ?  Sea Weed

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What’s the last thing that goes through a bugs mind as it hits the windshield? His ass

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My friend think the world is shaped like an Italian car. He is Fiat Earther

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My son was asking me why polar are only in the North Pole and not In the South Pole “i told him “ if the go both ways the there bipolar 🐻 

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Did you hear the Apollo mission found insects on the moon?lunatics

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Why was the color green single? It always was a bit jaded 

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I'm all for coloring books, but Connect the Dots....

 

 

 

 

...That's where I draw the line!

Colors Pig GIF by Bill Miller Bar-B-Q

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What's red and tastes like blue food coloring?

 

 

 

 

 

...Red food coloring!

Foam Reaction GIF

*Critical to making elephant toothpaste btw!*

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Every Book is a coloring book...

 

 

 

 

 

...if you hate Librarians!

Question Mark Idk GIF by US National Archives

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Did you hear about the guy who passed away from drinking too much food coloring?

 

 

 

 

 

He dyed.

Cleaning Rinse GIF by La Guarimba Film Festival

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I went to the doctor the other day for drinking a Gallon of food coloring, which made me pee funny colors...

 

 

 

 

 

He diagnosed me with "Dye" Urea!

Pee GIF by BuzzFeed

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During the lock-down, I mastered Jigsaw puzzles!

I completed my first one in just under 10 weeks....

 

 

 

 

..I was relieved, because the box said 5 to 6 years!!

Puzzle GIF

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What part of the jigsaw do monks spend most of their time?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...the Inner Piece

jigsaw puzzle satisfying GIF

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My Grandma was working on a tough jigsaw that was supposed to be a Rooster...

 

 

 

 

 

...but it was only a box of cornflakes!

Wake Up Animation GIF

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I think our Anime jigsaw puzzle was too easy. It was only....

 

 

 

 

 

...One piece!

one piece GIF

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What's a chicken's favorite games console?

 

 

 

 

Eggs-Box!

Star Wars Force GIF by Xbox

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I found out my wife has been playing board games with another man....

 

 

 

 

 

...turns out she's Monopolyamorous!

Tesla Board Game GIF by Sleeping Giant Media

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When do horses eat the most? In there hay day

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Balloons are more expensive this year . Experts says it’s inflation 

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Did you hear about the workaholic that built a cabin in the woods with strong Wi-Fi. He wanted to stay logged in at all times

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What did the Dr say tho the roofer who came in with a painful rash? It’s obviously shingles

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My wife and I stayed up all night arguing what vowel is the best,, I won

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What sort of car does A gastroenterologist drive ? A BM-W

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What’s the opposite of Minnesota? . Big sota

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Uncle Artie always make funny veggie jokes . I love Artie jokes

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