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Big Book of Dad Jokes.


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Posted

Chuck Norris destroyed the Periodic Table...

 

 

 

 

...Because he only recognizes the element of surprise!

chuck norris GIF

Posted

Chuck Norris once donated blood to the Zoo, which used it to help a sick Monkey, Fish and a Lizard...

 

 

 

 

...They recovered and are now known as King King, Moby Dick and Godzilla.

200.gifKing Kong Godzilla GIF by Regal

Posted

Did you hear about the fight between Chuck Norris and Superman?

 

 

 

 

...the loser had to wear their underwear on the outside!

Sassy Cartoon GIF

Posted

Chuck Norris' daughter lost her virginity...

 

 

 

 

It's ok now, Chuck Norris found the guy and got it back!

Excuse Me What GIF by CocoJuice

Posted

Chuck Norris once picked an Apple from an Orange tree...

 

 

 

 

...and made Lemonade from it.

Squeezing Lemon Juice GIF

Posted

Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him...

 

 

 

...so he tracked down nothing and killed it first!

To Do List Nothing GIF by SpongeBob SquarePants

Posted

Chuck Norris doesn't fly in planes...

 

 

 

 

...He flies on them.

chuck norris GIF

 

Posted

Did you know Chuck Norris prays three times a day?

 

 

 

 

...he checks to see if God needs anything.

Familyguy GIF

Posted

Chuck Norris' password is...

 

 

 

 

...the last 9 digits of Pi.

Pi GIF by BrainPOP

Posted

The only game Chuck Norris ever lost was Russian Roulette...

 

 

 

 

...He's lost a few times actually.

chuck norris deal with it GIF

  • Like 1
Posted

My dad used to put me in tires and roll me down hills ! Those were good years

Posted

How do 37 mathematicians ride a 36 passenger bus ? They carry the one

Posted

What do you call a cross between a centipede and a parrot? A walkie-talkie 

Posted

I spent my whole life savings on pasta , it was worth every penne

Posted

How does a dog show that she likes classical music? By Wangner tail

Posted

Why do chefs make soup at their wedding?they had too consomme the marriage 
 

Posted

What do you call a cross between a nun and a cow?  Holy cow 

Posted

If you got engaged to a sugar daddy what would you call him? A Finance 

Posted

What did letter a O say to letter Q ?  Dude your junk is hanging out

Posted

What did the monkey say after using the bathroom?damn that shit was bananas 

Posted

My trouble making pet crocodile now has own social media account!then again he has always been insta gator

Posted

Why do i always bring a ladder tony in-laws house? Because they always expect me to rise to the occasion 

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