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Big Book of Dad Jokes.


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Posted

It was my Birthday last week and I got $500 from all the cards I opened!

 

 

 

 

...I really love working at the Post Office!!

Sorting World War Ii GIF by US National Archives

Posted

My wife siad I was like our Wi-Fi !it fizzles out the bedroom 

  • giggling 1
Posted

How did Hansel and Gretel find the witches house? The home sweet home sign 

Posted

I was going to run a marathon but didn’t want to pay the 75 dollar entrance fee.. personally I think there just giving me a run for my money

Posted

What do you an ancient building were they made perfume the olfactory 

Posted

Why doesn’t the horse parliament ever pass any laws? Everyone always votes neigh 

Posted

I tried to start a hide and seek competition. But all the good players are heard to find 

Posted

Why don’t frogs drive cars? There afraid of getting Toad

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What do you call a thirsty mermaid? A fish out of water

Posted

I bought a cat the other day that tends to run away.. it was a purrchase

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What kinda nd of fly makes almost no noise? A hoarse fly

Posted (edited)

A what kind of car does thanos drive ? An infinity 

Edited by beanbean
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Posted

Males bees dies after mating. It’s basically honey, nut, cheerio

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My wife siad she leaving’ me because of my obsession with acting like a news anchor. More on this after the break

Posted

My dog had a fever , so I called the vet. He tho put mustard and relish on a hit dog

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I saved so much money since joined a semi nudist colony.  Everything is half off 

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I bought a dog for my car ! That dog in now a carpet

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If bad dad jokes are corny. Does that make good dad jokes cornish?

Posted

What do you call a web developer that gets rid of bugs?A spider 

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What does a cheapskate frog. Log for while shopping? A rebate

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I took a tumble in Paris recently. Eiffel

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Two week ago my doctor siad I was going deaf . I haven’t heard from him since

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I find some cigarettes at the thrift shop. They were second hand smokes 

Posted

Benedict Cumberbatch and his Marvel character have one thing in common....

 

 

 

 

 

...Both of their last names are strange.

 

Benedict Cumberbatch Avengers GIF by Marvel Studios

Posted (edited)

Marvel's greatest villain is Thanos, DC's greatest villain is...

 

 

 

 

 

...Rotten Tomatoes!

Good News Comedy GIF by Laff

Edited by WizardofOSS

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