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Big Book of Dad Jokes.


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Posted

My friend just got a face tattoo of his favorite character....

 

 

 

 

 

...You should have seen the Luke on his face!

Luke Skywalker GIF by Star Wars

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Posted

I once make some sugar cookies in the shape of Wookies for my son's class...

 

 

 

 

...they were a little on the chewy side.

Happy Star Wars GIF by YES Network

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Posted

Why is Vodka so hard to get in the Star Wars universe?

 

 

 

 

Because only Siths deal in absolut

Star Wars Irony GIF

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Posted

What kind of car does a Star Wars collector drive?

 

 

 

 

 

A Toy-Yoda!

Toyota Yaris Logo GIF by Namaste Car

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Posted

I once’s went to Las Vegas I ended up losing half of what I owned. Lesson learned, to this day I refuse to go anywhere near a wedding chapel

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Posted

Have you heard about the onion that sings hip hop?he is a rap scallion 

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Posted

I just bought a parakeet! But one flew away so I just have a keet

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Posted

My uncle spent his whole career practicing law. I asked him when he is going to start doing it for real

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Posted

You know why the duck ended up in jail? Because he was selling quack 

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Posted

What kitchen tool weighs the most? The scale

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Posted

Where does the Easter Bunny go to drink? The chocolate bar

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Posted

I hate my job as a taxi driver ! People are always talking behind my back 

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Posted

If it walks like a Duck and talks like a Duck....

 

 

 

 

...it's a Furry, because Ducks shouldn't be talking!

College Football GIF by Nissan USA

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Posted

Elmer Fudd and Daffy Duck break into a distillery, when Daffy asks Elmer, "Is this Whisky?"...

 

 

 

 

...Elmer replies, "No as whiskey as wobbing a Bank!"

Angry Daffy Duck GIF by Looney Tunes

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Posted

How do you turn a Duck into a soul singer?

 

 

 

 

Put it in the microwave on high until it's Bill Withers.

episode 5 bet GIF

Posted

Did you hear about the Duck that got a nose job?

 

 

 

 

He didn't like the Bill.

Angry Donald Duck GIF by First We Feast

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Posted

What has 6 eyes, 16 tentacles and quacks like a Duck?

 

 

 

 

 

...I don't know either but it's in my kitchen! Please help!!

kitchen cooking GIF

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Posted

Duck billed Platypus, and....

 

 

 

 

The platypus paid the Duck!

eggs platypus GIF

Posted

What noise does a quantum Duck make?

 

 

 

 

Quark, Quark, Quark....

France Film GIF by Nebraska Humane Society

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Posted

A Duck walks into a Pharmacy and asks for some condoms. The clerk says, "That'll be $5 plus tax." The Duck says...

 

 

 

 

 

"Oh I won't need Tacks thank you. They stay on by themselves."

Duck Dancing GIF

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Posted

What kind of Duck walks on two legs?

 

 

 

 

 

All of them.

Excited School GIF

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Posted (edited)

Do you know why Ducks have such large, flat feet?

 

 

 

 

For stomping out Forest Fires!!

Angry Fire GIF by B.Duck

Edited by WizardofOSS
Posted (edited)

Do you know why Elephants have such large, flat feet?

 

 

 

 

 

For stomping out flaming Ducks!

Fire Koo GIF by Isekai Meta

elephant sound GIF by PBS Digital Studios

Edited by WizardofOSS
Posted

Why are Ducks so likeable?

 

 

 

 

Because they are so SuDucktive!

Season 2 Goodbye GIF by Nanalan'

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Posted

A man walks into a Doctor's Office with a Duck attached to his head!

"Oh my God!" says the Doctor, "How did this happen?"

"It all started a few months ago with a small growth on my foot,"...

 

 

 

 

 

...replies the Duck!

Howard The Duck GIF by absurdnoise

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