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Big Book of Dad Jokes.


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My capers glows in the dark! It’s floorecennt!

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Growing up , my mom used tell us our dad was like a fine wine ! The explains why he was always locked in the celler

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You wanna hear a bird that hoot with a southern draw?youll have to travel to owlabama

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Why was the small hippo picked first? Because it was all like Pygme

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Why did the cop arrested the comedian? He was telling a stolen joke

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We only do doggy now! I sit and beg and she rolls over and plays dead

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I butchered a chicken once and it still haunts me . It came back as a poultrygeist

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Why don’t anteaters get sick? Because there full of Antibodys

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Why is every stair contractor angry?they keep asking me if I want to step outside 

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Who developed the first streaming platform? The Roman’s 

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What did the umpire say when he threw the bald manager out of the game ? Your out of hair 

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I brought my groceries in and noticed something was leaking.. turned out I bought hole milk

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Did you hear about the kids that fell off Mount Rushmore?the parents just said they ran off a-head

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When do eggs do best for champion racers? When there runny

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My wife tried to convince me not to put glue on my rifles? But I am sticking to my guns

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What did I he digital watch say to its mother? Look mom no hands

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Terrible news I caught a peek a boo virus. Ended up in the I C U

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There was a vampire that went to medical school toy be a an ear nose and throat specialist! He was pretty good at the first two but kinda sucked at the last one

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Wife told me to go the hell. So I guess we are visiting her mother again 

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Han Solo refused to eat his steak. He thought it was Chewy

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Why do the best cuts of meat come from outer space? There meteor

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It’s no called chicken salad . It’s breasts in plants 

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I aske my cousin if he wanted to start a podcast I asked him about what ? He said about our conversation, we already have relative content

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I had to return the animal crackers I bought the seal was broken 

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My local weather man just died . He was82 but felt like 75

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