WizardofOSS Posted June 24 Report Posted June 24 My brother took going to jail badly. He spit and swore at us, refused all offers of food and drink, and smeared the walls with his own feces! ...And that was the last time we played Monopoly!
WizardofOSS Posted June 24 Report Posted June 24 I'm not sure if I believe all this stuff about genetically modified food... I'm feel fine and had a really tasty leg of Salmon!!
beanbean Posted June 24 Report Posted June 24 When I was little m mom fed me alphabet bet soup all the time she used to think I liked it turns out she was just put words in my mouth
beanbean Posted June 24 Report Posted June 24 My goose told me she is an Atlanta braves fan . Her favorite player is honk Aaron
beanbean Posted June 24 Report Posted June 24 Why is it such a bad idea to iron a four leaf clover . Because you shouldn’t press our luck
beanbean Posted June 24 Report Posted June 24 Why couldn’t the refrigerator couldn’t hang out with the freezer because he wasn’t cool enough
WizardofOSS Posted June 24 Report Posted June 24 I don't know why everyone is saying "Cats" (the movie) was bad... ...It was the Movie on my flight and there were only two walkouts.
WizardofOSS Posted June 24 Report Posted June 24 I went to a friend's house for dinner last night and she had four cats. She introduced them to me as: Alogue, Aract, Erpiller and Astrophe. I asked how did she come up with those names? She said, "Oh, those are their last names. Their first name is Cat"
WizardofOSS Posted June 24 Report Posted June 24 I asked a Librarian about a book about Pavlov's Dog and Schoedinger's Cat?... She said it rang a bell, but she wasn't sure if it was available or not.
WizardofOSS Posted June 24 Report Posted June 24 I just found out I'm allergic to cats... ...either that or I undercooked them.
WizardofOSS Posted June 24 Report Posted June 24 What's worse than raining Cats and Dogs? Hailing Taxis!
WizardofOSS Posted June 24 Report Posted June 24 In Schoedinger's time, was it ethical to use live Cats in Physics experiments? Well -- it was and it wasn't.
WizardofOSS Posted June 24 Report Posted June 24 If "A" is for Apple, and "B" is for Banana, what is "C" for? Plastic Explosives!
WizardofOSS Posted June 24 Report Posted June 24 What do you call a person who saw an Apple store getting robbed? An iWitness
WizardofOSS Posted June 24 Report Posted June 24 A Sailor reports, "Apple created a new 'smart' patch for Pirates! ... ...They call it the "iEye", Captain!"
WizardofOSS Posted June 24 Report Posted June 24 I once tooted in an Apple store and everyone got angry! ...it wasn't my fault they didn't have windows!
WizardofOSS Posted June 24 Report Posted June 24 What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple!
WizardofOSS Posted June 24 Report Posted June 24 Why did Jon Snow stand in line for 6 hours at the Apple Store? For the Watch.
WizardofOSS Posted June 24 Report Posted June 24 Why did the chicken cross the Orchard? To get to the other cider.
WizardofOSS Posted June 24 Report Posted June 24 What do Apple and the NFL have in common? The Chargers suck.
WizardofOSS Posted June 24 Report Posted June 24 A friend told me that all apples were yellow... ...I said, that's bananas!
WizardofOSS Posted June 24 Report Posted June 24 If Farmer A sells Apples, and farmer B sells Bananas, what does Farmer C sell? Medicine!
WizardofOSS Posted June 24 Report Posted June 24 What's the difference between Apples and Orphans? Apples get picked.
WizardofOSS Posted June 24 Report Posted June 24 New York is where you find the Big Apple, and... ...Minnesota is where the Minneapolis.
WizardofOSS Posted June 24 Report Posted June 24 If you had 13 Apples in one hand, and 12 Oranges in another, what do you have? ...Big Hands!!
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