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Big Book of Dad Jokes.


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Posted

I gave my friend an Apple, and she said she prefers Pears, so....

 

 

 

 

 

 

...I gave her another Apple.

Hijau Pel GIF by Unilever Indonesia

Posted

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with extremely limited memory...

 

 

 

 

...Just 1 Byte and everything crashed!

james garner remake GIF

  • giggling 1
Posted

What’s the most obvious month? Duh-cember

  • giggling 1
Posted

I always make sure to say mucho around my Hispanic friends, it means a lot to them

  • giggling 2
Posted

Wha did the dentist name his brand new boat ? The tooth ferry

  • giggling 1
Posted

What do ou call an Italian ghost? A gabbaghoul

Posted

I have begun to invest heavily in stocks. Beef, chicken, and vegetable.one day I hope to be a bouillonaire

Posted (edited)

My Boss pulled up to work this morning in a sweet new car and I complimented him on it. He replied, "Well if you work hard, set goals and stay determined....

 

 

 

 

 

 

...I'l be able to get a new one next year too!"

like a boss car GIF

Edited by WizardofOSS
  • Like 1
Posted

New Teslas don't come with a 'new car' smell...

 

 

 

 

...instead a little 'Elon Musk'.

Smell Ya Later Black Ice GIF

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)

Chrysler-Daimler is adding a new car model to it's line-up this year to honor Donald Trump. The new car will be available in Canada and will be called...

 

 

 

 

The Dodge Drafter

ron egging GIF

Edited by WizardofOSS
  • Like 1
Posted
18 minutes ago, WizardofOSS said:

My Boss pulled up to work this morning in a sweet new car and I complimented him on it. He replied, "Well if you work hard, set goals and stay determined....

 

 

 

 

 

 

...I'l be able to get a new one next year too!"

like a boss car GIF

Haha so true

  • giggling 1
Posted

My new car has a reverse camera! Since I got it....

 

 

 

 

...I haven't looked back.

Bingo Please GIF by Bluey

Posted

A new car has been created for American Cowboys....

 

 

 

 

 

...the Audi Partner!

car drift GIF

Posted

When I traveled to Norway, I rented a car and took it to a party by the Sea...

 

 

 

 

 

...It was Fjord Fiesta!

Posted

I heard even Apple is trying to make a new car, but...

 

 

 

 

 

...they are having trouble installing the Windows.

apple car GIF by gifnews

Posted

Two friends chat and one starts to brag about his new car

"Yeah, I bought a brand new Tesla Model X! It drives itself!"

"Cool! Where is it?"

"No idea..."

Season 3 Lookout GIF by The Simpsons

Posted

I saw the CEO of Google driving a new car today,

 

 

 

 

...his wheels had nothing but Chrome on them!

Drifting On My Way GIF by Jaguar

Posted

So, I told my wife I'm buying a new car...

Me: I'm so sick of this old car! I'm going to trade it in for a Honda just like Jesus!

Wife: What? Jesus didn't have a Honda.

Me: Oh, well he was just humble about it.

Wife: No he wasn't, because he didn't have a Honda.

Me: Really?? Then why did he say in John 12:49, "For I did not speak of my own Accord"

animation domination lol GIF

Posted

A Snail buy a new car, which had a big "S" painted on the side like Superman. Eager to show off his new car, he drives it around town really fast, catching the attention of the Police, who exclaimed...

 

 

 

 

...Look at that S-Car-Go!!

France Gourmet GIF

Posted (edited)

I had to deactivate my "Lane Departure Warning" feature on my new car. It kept going off at random times for no reason, ...

 

 

 

 

 

...and it was distracting me from my texting.

texting and driving louis ck GIF

 

(Please don't text and drive!!) 🫶

Edited by WizardofOSS
Posted

So I bought a new car, but couldn't figure out the new seatbelt...

 

 

 

 

...and then it clicked!

Leo Lizard GIF by NETFLIX

Posted (edited)

My daughter just graduated and I took her to buy a new car. We went to Ford and was looking when she found one she liked. It was a "Tangerine" Focus, but I had to ask her...

 

 

 

 

...Tangerine Focus? Isn't that the same as Orange Concentrate?

Reese Witherspoon Smile GIF by Laff

Edited by WizardofOSS
Posted

What's the difference between a well-dressed dressed man on a Bicycle and a clown on a Unicycle?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Attire!

weird darth vader GIF

Posted

Why couldn't the Bicycle stand up by itself?

 

 

 

 

 

It was two-tired!

Fall Ridding GIF

Posted

Why did the Bicycle go to the Psychiatrist?

 

 

 

 

Because it had cycle logical problems!

Mental Health Therapy GIF by YouTube

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