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Big Book of Dad Jokes.


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Posted

I enjoy doing bicycle tricks...

 

 

 

 

It's a wheelie good time!

Bike Cycling GIF by Faithless

Posted (edited)

What do you call two bicycles joined together?

 

 

 

 

 

Conjoined Schwinns

Art Bike GIF by Electric Cyclery

Edited by WizardofOSS
Posted

What do you call a maniac on a bicycle?

 

 

 

 

 

A cycle path!

Bicycling Pee Wee GIF

Posted

What do you call a plumber on a bicycle?

 

 

 

 

A crack peddler

Bike Riding GIF by Lapointe Insurance Agency

Posted

I once made a bicycle out of scrapbook leftovers, ...

 

 

 

 

... it was a stationary bike!

stationary bicycle GIF by Benê

Posted

What's the hardest thing in Skateboarding?

 

 

 

 

 

The Concrete!

Summer Skating GIF by deathwishinc

Posted

I lost my Skateboard when I fell off and couldn't find it...

 

 

 

 

...and then it hit me!

scared fall GIF by Cartoon Hangover

Posted

What kind of plants do Skateboarders grow?

 

 

 

 

 

Faceplants

Fall Falling GIF by Pizza Skateboards

Posted

I hit some kid riding a Skateboard on the way to work this morning...

 

 

 

 

...on a more positive note, I'm selling a lightly used Skateboard!

3D Render GIF by Chris

Posted

Why is a Skateboard a good investment?

 

 

 

 

Because you can flip it!

Mark Appleyard Skateboarding GIF by Grizzly Griptape

Posted

Why did the Banana not enjoy the playground?

 

 

 

 

 

It was scared of the Monkey bars!

Loop Swing GIF by Xbox

Posted

Why couldn't Superman find the local playground as a kid?

 

 

 

 

Adult Super-Vision was required.

superman lol GIF

Posted

What do you call someone who designs playgrounds?

 

 

 

 

A Parkitect!

Work Create GIF by Pudgy Penguins

Posted

Why are Wayne and Garth banned from playgrounds?

 

 

 

 

They hog the Schwing set.

schwing GIF

Posted

What do Preschools and Bars have in common?

 

 

 

 

If you pee your pants, you go home!

no holds barred GIF

Posted

Yesterday, I was talking with an one-armed, deaf man through sign language...

 

 

 

 

 

...problem was, I only was getting half of what he was saying!

twin peaks mike GIF by Twin Peaks on Showtime

Posted

A preschool teacher asks her students if anyone can count.

Little 3 year old Timmy throws up a hand swiftly saying, "I can!!" and started counting, "One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine and Ten!"

"Very Good!" exclaimed the teacher, "Who taught you that?"

"My Uncle Bob," replied Timmy

"And can you count past Ten?" the Teacher asked...

 

 

 

 

 

..."Easy!" replied Timmy, "Jack, Queen, King..."

World Series Money GIF by Pudgy Penguins

  • snickering 1
Posted

Police were called to the Daycare today,...

 

 

 

 

...apparently there were several kids resisting a rest.

Tired Good Night GIF

Posted (edited)

I donated some old Board Games to my local Daycare...

 

 

 

 

...I hope they like those Ouija Boards!

dog yes GIF by Red & Howling

Edited by WizardofOSS
Posted

Daycare is a lot like a Frat House...

 

 

 

 

...There's kids passed out in  their clothes everywhere, it smells like pee and vomit, there's kids with magic marker all over their faces, and the girls walk around lifting their shirts up.

Johnny Depp Work GIFmom time GIF

Posted

What's an epilectic Toddler's favorite Pizza?

 

 

 

 

...Little Seizures

pizza bite GIF by Little Caesars

Posted

Daddy: Babygirl, did you know one of is secretly an Owl!

Little girl: Who?

Daddy: It's you!! *Laughs*

Fathers Day Dads GIF

Posted

Toddlers are like Jesus...

 

 

 

 

...They turn water into whine.

poop GIF

Posted

My daughter entered a beauty pagent in the South...

 

 

 

 

She won the Miss Sippy Cup!

beauty carnaval GIF by VPRO

Posted

As a Baby and Toddler, I was bathed in a cheap Australian Lager...

 

 

 

 

...It was only when I turned 28, that I was told I had been fostered.

Party Cartoon GIF by Cappa Video Productions

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