WizardofOSS Posted July 10 Report Posted July 10 As I handed my Dad his 75th Birthday Card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, ... ..."You know, one would have been enough!"
SweetLittleDreamer Posted July 10 Author Report Posted July 10 What kind of shoes to frogs wear? Open-toad sandals. 1
SweetLittleDreamer Posted July 10 Author Report Posted July 10 I poured some water over a duck's back yesterday. I don't think he cared.
WizardofOSS Posted July 11 Report Posted July 11 A Frog went for a DNA test and got the results back.... .....He was 99.9% Amphibian and a tad Polish.
WizardofOSS Posted July 11 Report Posted July 11 Little girl goes to her father and says, "Daddy, talk like a frog?" The Dad says, "No, get out of here. Talk like a frog? Ha!" The next day the little girl again goes to her father, "Daddy, talk like a frog!" Dad says, I told you yesterday, beat it with that frog stuff." Again on the next day she says to her Dad, "Daddy, please can you talk like a frog?" Her Dad looks at her and asks, "Ok, what is it with those frog talk? Why do you want me to talk like a frog?" The little girl answers.... ..."because Mommy says that when you croak, we're moving to Hawaii!"
WizardofOSS Posted July 11 Report Posted July 11 What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.
WizardofOSS Posted July 11 Report Posted July 11 Did you hear about the new frog movie? I hear its ribbeting!
WizardofOSS Posted July 11 Report Posted July 11 Why are frogs so happy? Because they eat whatever bugs them!
WizardofOSS Posted July 11 Report Posted July 11 Where does Mr. Frog go when he gets really sick? The Hopital!
WizardofOSS Posted July 11 Report Posted July 11 Where did Kermit kiss Miss Piggy? Under the Mistletoad 1
WizardofOSS Posted July 16 Report Posted July 16 My Dad had a water line break and was without water for a week, so... ...I sent him a "Get Well" Soon card!
WizardofOSS Posted July 17 Report Posted July 17 Why was the penguin convicted with a crime, but given bail to get out? ...He wasn't considered a flight risk! 1
WizardofOSS Posted July 17 Report Posted July 17 A Man runs into a Library and yells, "How tall is a Penguin?" Confused, the Librarian said, "Excuse me, sir?" The Man repeats, "How tall is a Penguin!!" "Oh....about 3 feet tall" the Librarian responds... ...the Man looks pale and replies, "Oh no! I ran over a Nun!!"
WizardofOSS Posted July 17 Report Posted July 17 How does a Penguin build a house? Igloos it together!
WizardofOSS Posted July 17 Report Posted July 17 A Penguin walks into a bar and asks the Bartender, "Have you seen my brother?" The bartender says, "I don't know.... ...what does he look like?" 1
WizardofOSS Posted July 17 Report Posted July 17 What do you call a Penguin with no eyes? ...a Pengun
WizardofOSS Posted July 17 Report Posted July 17 What's the difference between a White Penguin and a Black Penguin? The White ones walk toward you and the Black ones walk away from you!! 1
WizardofOSS Posted July 17 Report Posted July 17 What do you call a Penguin who can't win? ...a Pen-lose!
WizardofOSS Posted July 18 Report Posted July 18 A man walks into his bedroom carrying a Goat. His wife looks horrified! The man says, "See? See what I have to sleep with when you're not in the mood?" The Goat says, "Myyyyy goodness, you weren't lying!"
WizardofOSS Posted July 18 Report Posted July 18 What do you call a herd of sheep tumbling down a hill? A Lambslide!
WizardofOSS Posted July 18 Report Posted July 18 What do you call a really fast sheep? A Lamb-orghini! 1
WizardofOSS Posted July 21 Report Posted July 21 What goes in stiff and comes out soft? Spaghetti! 🤣 1
WizardofOSS Posted July 22 Report Posted July 22 What kind of music do the planets like to listen to? Neptunes!
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