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Big Book of Dad Jokes.


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Posted

How do planets stay busy during hunting season?

 

 

 

 

By shooting stars!

shooting star animation GIF by Weijian Zhou

Posted

What did Earth say to the other planets who were teasing her?

 

 

 

 

 

Wow, you guys have no life!

Climate Change Spinning GIF by Maximiliano Alejandro Zas

Posted

We should really colonize other places like the Moon or Mars....

 

 

 

 

 

...Studies show that 100% of Deaths occur on Earth!!

Space Travel Animation GIF by Planet XOLO

Posted

How does NASA find dead planets?

 

 

 

 

 

 

They look through the orbituaries!

Miracle On 34Th Street Wow GIF by filmeditor

Posted

Hi, I'm Buzz Aldrin, second man to walk on the Moon!

 

 

 

 

Neil before me!

Knee GIF by Adult Swim

Posted

Canada is planning to send a spacecraft to the Moon...

 

 

 

 

...They will call the spacecraft, the Apollo-G.

Canada Rick GIF by South Park

Posted

NASA recently found Bones on the far side of the Moon...

 

 

 

 

 

...It turns out the Cow never made it!

Happy Cats GIF by joeyahlbum

Posted

My neighbor claims he took a picture of a flea on the Moon.

 

 

 

 

Never mind...It's just a lunatic

tick GIF

Posted

My son is currently obsessed with the Moon...

 

 

 

 

...I think it's just a phase.

Moon Phase Space GIF by BBC America

Posted

Why does a Moon rock taste better than an Earth rock?

 

 

 

 

 

Because it's a little meteor!

steak beef GIF

Posted

How do we know the Moon is hairless?

 

 

 

 

It spends half the month waxing!!

200.gif

Posted

What's the Moon's favorite gum?

 

 

 

 

Orbit

200.gif

Posted

Finally, Astronomers got tired of watching the Moon go around the Earth for 24 hours, so...

 

 

 

 

 

...they called it a Day.

Going Home Cat GIF by AlphaESS

  • Haha 1
Posted

Daddy? How do Stars die?

 

 

 

 

 

Drugs, normally.

space star GIF

Posted

Last night, I was gazing up at the stars thinking....

 

 

 

 

 

...where the heck is my roof??

Korean Drama Love GIF by The Swoon

Posted

Dad told me he loved me like the Moon and Stars, and like them...

 

 

 

 

...we were never close.

James Webb Space GIF by Televize Seznam

Posted

How are false teeth like stars?

 

 

 

 

 

They come out at night!

beast grandma GIF

Posted

My Grandpa always said "Shoot for the Stars!"...

 

 

 

 

 

...Too bad he's in jail now for trying to kill Justin Bieber.

Justin Bieber GIF by Kids' Choice Awards

Posted

Why are shooting stars so fast??

 

 

 

 

They're travelling light!

Shooting Star Love GIF

Posted

Some people really like the three stars of Orion's Belt...

 

 

 

 

...but I think it's a huge waist of space.

stargazing live space GIF by BBC

Posted

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are on a camping trip. After a hearty meal and a smoke, they lay down to sleep for the night.

Suddenly, Sherlock wakes his companion in the middle of the night, "Watson!! What do you see?"

Rubbing his sleepy eyes, Dr Watson responds," Well, I see millions and millions of stars."

"Correct Watson," Sherlock replied, "And what do you conclude from that?"

Dr. Watson thinks and then answers, "Well, temporarily I conclude it is about 3:30 in the morning, Astrologically, I can conclude that Mars is showing in the sign Aquarius, Astronomically, I conclude we are on a planet, orbiting the Sun in the spiral arm of our Galaxy, and Religiously I conclude that God wants to show us with all this splendor that we are but a small, insignificant speck of dust in the infinite grace of His creation. Why, Holmes? What do you mean?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

..."Watson...somebody stole our tent!!"

doctor who sherlock GIF

Posted (edited)

In honor of Hulk Hogan (RIP), here three jokes....

 

You know, Hulk Hogan had to overcome some mental health issues in order to be famous....

 

 

 

He had to...wrestle mania

Flexing Hulk Hogan GIF by WWE

Edited by WizardofOSS
Posted

Why did people avoid buying shirts from Hulk Hogan?

 

 

 

 

Because they were probably rip-offs!

hulk hogan wrestling GIF

Posted

What's the difference between Hulk Hogan and Paper?

 

 

 

 

The Rock beat Hulk Hogan

wrestling hulk hogan vs the rock GIF by WWE

Posted (edited)

In honor of Ozzy Osbourne (RIP), here's three jokes....

 

What kind of Shampoo did Ozzy get his kids?

 

 

 

No more tears!

Ozzy Osbourne My My My GIF

Edited by WizardofOSS

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