WizardofOSS Posted August 11 Report Posted August 11 What has one horn, but isn't magical? A Dead Unicorn
yeahokaysure Posted August 11 Report Posted August 11 Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin? 3
WizardofOSS Posted August 16 Report Posted August 16 What do elderly women and crumpled shirts do to help smooth their wrinkles? They get more Iron! 1
WizardofOSS Posted August 16 Report Posted August 16 Why does Batman wear dark clothing? Batman doesn't want to get shot! .... ... Why does Robin wear bright clothing? Batman doesn't want to get shot!
WizardofOSS Posted August 16 Report Posted August 16 Camoflage clothing is so ugly,... It's no wonder you don't see anyone wearing it!
WizardofOSS Posted August 16 Report Posted August 16 A woman about to get audited by the IRS, asks her accountant what she should wear. "Wear shabby clothes. Make them think you're poor." he replied. Next she went to her lawyer and asked her the same question. "Wear your finest attire. Don't let them intimidate you!" she answered. Undecided, she decided to go to her Rabbi and ask him. "Hmm...let me tell you a story..." he replied. "A woman about to be married asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. "Wear a long, heavy, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck." But then she asked her friend and got conflicting advice, "Wear your sexiest lingerie!" The woman asked, "What does all this have to do with my problems with the IRS?"... The Rabbi replied, "Don't you see? It doesn't matter what you wear my dear, the results will be the same!" 1
WizardofOSS Posted August 20 Report Posted August 20 (edited) A little boy came home from school with a black eye and a bloody nose. It was obvious he had been in a fight. "What happened?" asked Dad. The boy replied, "I challenged Larry to a duel. And you know I gave him his choice of weapons like in the movies." "Yeah?" Dad replied "Well, I never expected him to choose his big sister!" Edited August 22 by WizardofOSS
NickyMoon Posted August 20 Report Posted August 20 On 8/8/2025 at 1:54 AM, WizardofOSS said: Why can't you hear a Pteradactyl urinate? Because the P is silent! this is my new favorite lol 1
WizardofOSS Posted August 20 Report Posted August 20 The actor that played Captain James Kirk on Star Trek tried to start his own clothing company making pants, like in his movies. It didn't go very well. For some reason, people didn't want to buy Shatner Pants!
WizardofOSS Posted August 20 Report Posted August 20 (edited) My conservative Aunt thinks the crucifix is too revealing, with Jesus just in a Loincloth. So, she decided to start making clothes for the small jesus. She's a Cross-Dresser now. Edited August 22 by WizardofOSS 1
WizardofOSS Posted August 21 Report Posted August 21 (edited) You know the clothing company Puma? They make Puma Shirts, Puma socks... I wonder why they don't make pants? Edited August 22 by WizardofOSS
WizardofOSS Posted August 21 Report Posted August 21 (edited) A Psychic goes to buy a new shirt and the clerk shows her a nice selection of small shirts. "Oh! Those are too small" says the Psychic "How do you know?" asks the clerk "I'm a Medium" replies the Psychic Edited August 21 by WizardofOSS 1
WizardofOSS Posted August 21 Report Posted August 21 I just met a boy wearing some poor, shabby clothes I asked him, "Are you an orphan?" "Yeah...what gave me away?" the orphan asked I replied, "Your Parents" 1
WizardofOSS Posted August 21 Report Posted August 21 (edited) What is a Magician's favorite clothing item? A Card-again? Edited August 22 by WizardofOSS
WizardofOSS Posted August 21 Report Posted August 21 Levi Strauss created the biggest clothing company on Earth! He was a jeanius!
WizardofOSS Posted August 22 Report Posted August 22 A High School Senior visits a Psychic "I've applied to 10 different Colleges! Which one will accept me?" he asks the Psychic. "Hmm...that's hard to say," the Psychic replies, "But you will spend an absurd amount of money" "How do you know that?" asks the student The psychic replied, "It's mostly intuition"
WizardofOSS Posted August 22 Report Posted August 22 Teacher: "Whoever answers the next question will have extra recess time!" A Student throws his bag out the open window Teacher: "Who threw that?" Student: "Me! Yay, I get extra recess time!!"
WizardofOSS Posted August 22 Report Posted August 22 10 minutes ago, jenny70 said: These jokes are soooooo funny😅😂 What can we say....
WizardofOSS Posted August 22 Report Posted August 22 (edited) What did the Indian kid say when she left for school? Mum Bai! Spoiler BTW - Mumbai is a huge city in India, so saying Mum, Bye is hilarious!! Edited August 22 by WizardofOSS
WizardofOSS Posted August 22 Report Posted August 22 I was horrible in school! I failed Math class so many times... ...I can't even count them.
WizardofOSS Posted August 22 Report Posted August 22 A little girl was walking home from school when a man pulls up next to her on a Motorcycle. Man: Hey, you wanna ride on the back? Girl: No. Man: Come on sweetie, I'll give you five dollars? Girl: Get away from me or I'll call the cops! Man: How about twenty Dollars to just get on the back with me? Girl: (starts walking away) No way!! Man: Final offer, twenty Dollars and a bag of candy. Girl: Look Dad, You had to buy a Honda instead of a Harley! You ride it!
WizardofOSS Posted August 22 Report Posted August 22 A school principal meets with a new student and asks his name "D-d-d-Dav-Dav-David, sir." replied the student "Nice to meet you. Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked "No sir. My Dad has the stutter... ...The guy typing my birth certificate was just a moron!"
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