WizardofOSS Posted August 22 Report Posted August 22 Terrorists blew up a Clothing Store in Paris today after they discovered it didn't have any basic, affordable clothing... There were no casual Tees. 1
WizardofOSS Posted August 22 Report Posted August 22 Did you hear about Gucci's new line of Baby Clothing? It's called "Gucci, Gucci, Goo!" 1
WizardofOSS Posted August 24 Report Posted August 24 What kind of Birds can fly, but are kept from it? Jailbirds!
WizardofOSS Posted August 24 Report Posted August 24 DEEP THOUGHTS: When inmates fall in love.... ...do they finish each others' sentences? 1
WizardofOSS Posted August 24 Report Posted August 24 Why was the inmate given an eraser and white-out? Because her case was handled by the Department of Corrections! 1
WizardofOSS Posted August 25 Report Posted August 25 My stuttering cousin was sent to jail for 6 months... ...that was two years ago and he still hasn't finished his sentence!
WizardofOSS Posted August 25 Report Posted August 25 Policeman: You're going to jail for forgery! Criminal slides over a $150 dollar bill. How about now? 1
WizardofOSS Posted August 25 Report Posted August 25 I once went to prison for something I didn't do... ...I forgot to wipe off the fingerprints on the knife.
WizardofOSS Posted August 25 Report Posted August 25 So a cement mixer crashed into a prison bus on the highway near here... ...the police advised citizens to be on the lookout for hardened criminals!
WizardofOSS Posted August 25 Report Posted August 25 There was a man in jail once that could shoot lightening from his fingers and stuff... He was charged with Battery.
WizardofOSS Posted August 25 Report Posted August 25 A Blonde is flying in a Boeing airplane for the first time, and decides to start jumping on the seat saying "Boeing, Boeing, Boeing!" The steward sees this disruption and walks to here and tells her, "Be Silent!", the nwalks back. The blonde stops and thinks a moment... ...then resumes bouncing on the seat saying, "Oeing, Oeing, Oeing!!"
WizardofOSS Posted August 25 Report Posted August 25 R. Kelley has just appealed his 30 year prison sentence... ...he wants it reduced to something below 14 years.
WizardofOSS Posted August 25 Report Posted August 25 Did you know Mrs. Doubtfire served time in Jail? It was for Male Fraud.
WizardofOSS Posted August 25 Report Posted August 25 Two men are sitting in a prison cell One says, "I'm here for ten years, manslaughter. How about you?" The other answered, "I opened the window at my job and got 15 years here." "What??" The other answered, "Yeah! Apparently, the submarine Captain hated that.
WizardofOSS Posted August 25 Report Posted August 25 Two prisoners are on Death Row and the Warden asks each of them for any last wishes. The first prisoner says, "I'd like to hear the Macarena one last time." "Very well," replies the Warden. "And you?" The second prisoner says... "Kill me first!"
WizardofOSS Posted August 25 Report Posted August 25 A prisoner escaped Prison last night by placing a paper towel over his face... ...and now there's a Bounty on his head.
WizardofOSS Posted August 25 Report Posted August 25 Cookies were stolen and Mom was trying to find out which of her 4 children took them. "Who took the cookies?" she asked. Of course no-one knew. "Ygolohcysp!" she yelled One little boy's hand raises, "I did it, I admit it!" The sister asked her Mom, "How did you get him to admit it?" Mom replied, "I used reverse Psychology"
WizardofOSS Posted August 25 Report Posted August 25 Did you hear about the Oatmeal Cookie Orphans? No one's Raisin' them!
WizardofOSS Posted August 25 Report Posted August 25 An Elementary teacher asked her Kindergarden students what they did during recess. Teacher: What did you do Johnny? Johnny: I played in the Sandbox Teacher: Ok, if you write the word "Sand", I'll give you a cookie. Johnny writes Sand and gets a cookie Teacher: What did you do Katie? Katie: I played in the Sandbox with Johnny Teacher: Ok, if you can write the word "Box", I'll give you a cookie! Katie writes Box and gets a cookie Teacher: Jamal, what did you do? Jamal: I tried to play in the Sandbox, but Johnny and Katie just kicked sand at me. Teacher: Oh no! That sounds like blatent racial discrimination! If you can write "Blatant Racial Discrimination", I'll give you a cookie. Jamal stood there speechless with his mouth open.
WizardofOSS Posted August 25 Report Posted August 25 Why did the Oreo Cookie go to the Dentist? It lost it's filling! 1
WizardofOSS Posted August 25 Report Posted August 25 What do you call a "Metric" Cookie? A "Gram" Cracker
WizardofOSS Posted August 26 Report Posted August 26 What must you do before entering a cookie eating competition for legal liability reasons? Sign a Wafer
WizardofOSS Posted August 26 Report Posted August 26 (edited) Why did the cookie go to see the Doctor? ...Because it felt Crumby! Edited August 26 by WizardofOSS
WizardofOSS Posted August 26 Report Posted August 26 What did the Hershey Bar, the Marshmallow and Cracker use to communicate with each other? S'morse Code!
WizardofOSS Posted August 26 Report Posted August 26 What do you call a Pizza in the shape of a cookie? A Pizza 1
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