WizardofOSS Posted August 29 Report Posted August 29 I began wearing adult diapers for two reasons... Reason #1 and #2
WizardofOSS Posted August 29 Report Posted August 29 Why are babies diapers called Loves, Huggies and Pampers, while adult diapers are called Depends? Because when we're babies, our families will still Love, Hug and Pamper us. When we're adults, it Depends who's in the Will.
WizardofOSS Posted August 29 Report Posted August 29 My sister is dating a Adult Baby Diaper Lover (ABDL)... She doesn't really like that part, but she thinks she can change him. 1
WizardofOSS Posted August 29 Report Posted August 29 My Buddy set me up on a blind date, saying "I better warn you, she's expecting a baby"... ...wow! I felt like an idiot sitting at that bar wearing just a diaper.
WizardofOSS Posted August 29 Report Posted August 29 Proper Diaper fitting, If the baby's legs turn Blue, the diaper is too tight. If the Baby's legs turn Brown, the diaper is too loose.
WizardofOSS Posted August 29 Report Posted August 29 Joseph and Mary tried to throw out one of Jesus' diapers... ...but there was no room in the bin.
WizardofOSS Posted August 29 Report Posted August 29 Diapers are like Guns... You have to assume they are loaded.
WizardofOSS Posted August 29 Report Posted August 29 What do you call a baby who just got their diaper changed at the airport? Duty Free
WizardofOSS Posted August 29 Report Posted August 29 What kind of Bear wears Diapers? Winnie the Pooh
WizardofOSS Posted September 2 Report Posted September 2 Why is Pride Month in the Summer instead of Autumn when it's cooler? Because the Pride comes before the Fall.
WizardofOSS Posted September 2 Report Posted September 2 (edited) Why does Humpty Dumpty love September, October and November? Because Humpty Dumpty had a Great Fall! Edited September 2 by WizardofOSS 1
WizardofOSS Posted September 2 Report Posted September 2 Why do leaves change colors in Autumn? Because instead of Chlorophyll, they Chloro-empty!
WizardofOSS Posted September 2 Report Posted September 2 Never date a girl named Autumn... ...she'll just leaf you!
WizardofOSS Posted September 2 Report Posted September 2 Why do leaves change colors at the same time every year? Because the process is autumn-mated!
WizardofOSS Posted September 2 Report Posted September 2 A man obsessed with trains, gets a job driving one in Europe. One day, for absolutely no reason, he goes a little crazy and speds up on a curve and the train derails, killing hundreds of people. He goes to court and is sentenced to Death. On Death Row, the executioner asks if he has a last meal request. "One Banana please!" The executioner thinks this is weird, shrug and gives him a banana. The guy eat, waits a while and then proceeds to get strapped in the electric chair. The switch is flipped and *Zhom*, Nothing happens! In Europe, they don't try to kill you twice and release survivors. A Few months go by and the guy gets another job as a driver for a train. On a beautiful Summer day, he goes crazy again and soeeds up to a curve in the tracks, derailing another train and killing hundreds of people. At Court, he is sentenced to murder and sits on Death Row again. The executioner ask him for a last meal request. "Two Banana's please!" The executioner thinks this is weird, shrug and gives him two bananas. The guy eat, waits a while and then proceeds to get strapped in the electric chair. The switch is flipped and *Zhom*, Nothing happens again! Again he is released. A few months later, he somehow gets another job driving a train. He works all day and then gets crazy again, speeding on a curve and derailing the Train again, killing hundreds, goes to court, goes to Death Row and again asked for a last meal. "Three Bananas please!" The executioner talks to the director about this and the possibility that he's tricking the system with the bananas somehow. The director agrees and decides not to serve bananas again. The Man is strapped in the electric chair without food. The switch is flipped and *Zhom*, Nothing happens! The Man is released again and the executioner walks up to him, "How did you do it? What's the trick?" He simply replies, "There's no trick.... ..."It turns out, I'm just a bad conductor!"
WizardofOSS Posted September 2 Report Posted September 2 Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had Loco-Motives!
WizardofOSS Posted September 2 Report Posted September 2 Did you know that there is no official training for Garbage Men? They just pick it up as they go along. - Pic from Men at Work, a hilarious Garbage Movie from the 1980's 1
WizardofOSS Posted September 2 Report Posted September 2 (edited) A man was riding the train when sudddenly everything started rocking violently! Peole were thrown out of their seats and bags were flying everywhere. Then as suddenly as it started, everything returned to the calm, smooth ride everyone was used to. Everyone sorted themselves and settled in again. When they reached the next stop, the man approached the conductor and asked what happened. "We hit a Lawyer," replied the Conductor. The man couldn't believe it. "Hitting a person caused all that?" he asked The conductor looked at him and explained... ..."Well, he was in a ditch, but we got him anyways!" Edited September 2 by WizardofOSS
WizardofOSS Posted September 2 Report Posted September 2 What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage? I don't know, I just fly the drone.
WizardofOSS Posted September 2 Report Posted September 2 I was on the Bus sitting across from this beautiful woman who leaned over and said, "Everytime I see you smile, I am tempted to invite you to my place" "Oh? Are you single?" I asked She replied, "No, I am a Dentist"
WizardofOSS Posted September 2 Report Posted September 2 When NASA was preparing for the Moon Launch, the Apollo astronauts did some training at a Navajo Indian Reservation. An Elder and his son saw them and asked them what they were up to. "We're training to go to the Moon" they replied. The Elder asked if he could send a message with them, to which the Astronauts agreed. They pulled out a tape recorder and the Elder said something in Navajo. Confused they asked what it meant, but the Elder and his son refused to translate. Perturbed, the Astronauts packed up and took the recording to a nearby town and asked if anyone could translate it. However, everyone they played it for just laughed and refused to translate it. Finally, the Astronauts arrived back at NASA and a professional translator listened and translated it. The message said,... ..."Watch out for these guys. They are here to steal your land!"
WizardofOSS Posted September 2 Report Posted September 2 How does a Train hear another train coming? With it's Engine Ears!
WizardofOSS Posted September 2 Report Posted September 2 What do you call a locomotive on it's first day on the tracks? A Train-ee!
WizardofOSS Posted September 3 Report Posted September 3 Have you ever played silent Tennis? no? It's just like regular Tennis but without the Racket. 1
WizardofOSS Posted September 3 Report Posted September 3 What's the best thing about Transphobia? It finally got people interested in women's sports! Spoiler Although Transphobia is wrong and unacceptable, Women's sports was neglected for so long and not paid equal to men's sports, this is kind of a funny side effect, LOL!!
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