WizardofOSS Posted September 25 Report Posted September 25 Baby Yoda's first word... Probably came after his second word!
WizardofOSS Posted September 26 Report Posted September 26 How warm is a baby at birth? Womb Temperature.
WizardofOSS Posted September 26 Report Posted September 26 (edited) I just hired a beautiful 21 year old girl to watch after our 1 year old baby. However, I have 2 problems! 1) How to tell this to my wife and... 2) Where to find a 1 year old baby to borrow? Edited September 26 by WizardofOSS
WizardofOSS Posted September 26 Report Posted September 26 (edited) Why are baby Otters born with fur? Mama Otters pre-furs them that way! Edited September 26 by WizardofOSS
WizardofOSS Posted September 26 Report Posted September 26 In old folklore, if a Stork brings a white baby, and a Crow brings a black baby, which bird brings no baby? A Swallow
WizardofOSS Posted September 26 Report Posted September 26 What did Baby Corn ask Mommy Corn? Where is Pop Corn?
WizardofOSS Posted September 26 Report Posted September 26 What do a Ring, a Baby and a Threesome have in common? None of them will save your troubled relationship.
WizardofOSS Posted September 26 Report Posted September 26 When someone hands you a Baby, Hand it back and say,... ..."Thanks, but I'm a Vegetarian!"
WizardofOSS Posted September 26 Report Posted September 26 (edited) Two Babies were sitting in their cribs when one asked the other, "What are you, a girl or boy?" "I don't know," replied the second baby. The first asked, "How can you not know?" "I mean, I don't know how to tell the difference" the second replied. "I know!" the first Baby said, "I'll climb into your crib and find out!" With that, the first baby climbed into the crib and got underneath the blanket. After a few minutes, the first Baby emerges and says, "You're a little Girl and I'm a little Boy!" "You're so clever," she replied, "But, how could you tell?" "It's really quite easy," he said... "You've got pink socks and I have blue ones!" Spoiler If you were thinking something else, shame on you!! LOL!!! Edited September 26 by WizardofOSS
WizardofOSS Posted September 27 Report Posted September 27 So, I'm watching this movie about a man's wife who's brutally murdered by a serial killer and his son is left physically disabled, but then in a twisted turn of events, his son is kidnapped years later and the Dad has to track him for thousands of miles, with the help of a mentally disabled woman. The craziest part of this is, that it's a kids movie! ...Finding Nemo Spoiler
WizardofOSS Posted September 29 Report Posted September 29 Why did the clown go see the Doctor? Because he was feeling funny!
WizardofOSS Posted September 29 Report Posted September 29 (edited) Yesterday a clown held the door open for me... ...it was such a nice jester. Edited September 30 by WizardofOSS
WizardofOSS Posted September 29 Report Posted September 29 I got a sweater for my Birthday... ...I would have preferred a moaner or screamer instead!
WizardofOSS Posted September 29 Report Posted September 29 For my wife's birthday, I got new beads for her abacus... ...it's the little things that count.
WizardofOSS Posted September 29 Report Posted September 29 I also gave my wife a box of photos from all the boyfriends she used to have. She got really angry for some reason! I remembered she mentioned she wanted an Ex Box.
WizardofOSS Posted September 30 Report Posted September 30 (edited) I got my friend a refrigerator for her birthday... ...I can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it! Edited September 30 by WizardofOSS
WizardofOSS Posted September 30 Report Posted September 30 What did the Pirate say on his 80th Birthday? Aye Matey!!
WizardofOSS Posted September 30 Report Posted September 30 Why did Grandpa's Birthday only last one minute? Because it was his Sixty Second Birthday!
WizardofOSS Posted September 30 Report Posted September 30 My wife's birthday is in a couple days and she said she would be happy with any gift as long as it has a lot of diamonds in it... ...She'd gonna love this pack of playing cards!
WizardofOSS Posted September 30 Report Posted September 30 Birthdays are good for your health! Studies have shown that... ...people with more birthdays live longer!!
WizardofOSS Posted September 30 Report Posted September 30 I opened my Birthday card and loads of rice fell out of it. I instantly knew who had sent it... ...it was my uncle Ben.
WizardofOSS Posted October 1 Report Posted October 1 What do Spiders and Ducks have in common? Web Feet
WizardofOSS Posted October 1 Report Posted October 1 Did you know that the 'ideal' game of chess takes 5 days to finish?? ...Because it takes 4 knights to play!
WizardofOSS Posted October 2 Report Posted October 2 My brother took going to jail really badly! He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at anyone who came near him, and threw things against the wall in a fit of rage! ...After that, we never played Monopoly again.
WizardofOSS Posted October 2 Report Posted October 2 I had a friend who confided in me about a boyfriend who she cooked an elegant dinner for. Instead of a romantic evening, he proceeded to tell her that her cooking was the absolute worst he'd ever had, what was wrong with it and wanted to order out. Angrily, she kicked him in the mouth and they broke up that night. I guess he didn't like the taste of defeat either!
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