WizardofOSS Posted October 2 Report Posted October 2 (edited) Why does Bonnie Tyler only eat Greek Food? She's holding out for a gyro. Spoiler I didn't know who she was - but she's the OG singer of the popular Shrek II song "Holding out for a Hero", originally released in 1980. I'm a little musically challenged, but I face the music when I have to. LOL!!! Edited October 2 by WizardofOSS
WizardofOSS Posted October 2 Report Posted October 2 My Grandmother likes to prank us by pretending to choke on her food... ...it's an old gag.
WizardofOSS Posted October 2 Report Posted October 2 Why did the blonde eat her diet food quickly? She thought she was fasting.
WizardofOSS Posted October 2 Report Posted October 2 I started a diet and had to remove all the fattening food from my home today... ...it was delicious!
WizardofOSS Posted October 2 Report Posted October 2 How does a cannibal get their food at a restaurant? They order ahead!
WizardofOSS Posted October 2 Report Posted October 2 Where I live, I have poor cell phone coverage. I also have to drive several miles to get decent food or go shopping. The struggle is rural!
WizardofOSS Posted October 2 Report Posted October 2 What was Hitler's favorite type of food? Not Seafood!
WizardofOSS Posted October 2 Report Posted October 2 (edited) What cat food does Lightning McQueen usually buy? Cat Chow! Edited October 2 by WizardofOSS
WizardofOSS Posted October 2 Report Posted October 2 Which Celebrity is always ready for Ice Cream? Reese, with her spoon!
WizardofOSS Posted October 3 Report Posted October 3 What do Children and Ice Cream have in common? They are both sweet, but can also give you a headache.
WizardofOSS Posted October 3 Report Posted October 3 Where can you learn how to make Ice Cream? At Sundae School
WizardofOSS Posted October 3 Report Posted October 3 I overheard a man order a Sundae with nuts, but without the ice cream... ...to me, that's just nuts!
MissAnna Posted October 3 Report Posted October 3 I have never read these before but these are hilarious 😂 1
WizardofOSS Posted October 3 Report Posted October 3 (edited) @MissAnna Awww....thank you! I'm glad you and others enjoy them. It's been a group project, but if you know any, feel free to post them! I Looovvveee Dad jokes! A fact not lost on my students at the Juvie center who moan and groan everytime I tell them one. They ask, "Why you gotta tell us those jokes man!!" I simply reply, "I love a captive audience!" Edited October 3 by WizardofOSS 1
WizardofOSS Posted October 3 Report Posted October 3 (edited) Ben & Jerry's just announced a new mixed fruit flavor of Ice Cream dedicated to the President of the United States... They call it "Im-Peach-Mint Orange". It's good, very good, perhaps the greatest in the history of mixed fruit ice creams! It's going to be Yuge!! Ask anyone! Edited October 3 by WizardofOSS 1
WizardofOSS Posted October 3 Report Posted October 3 Where does Goku keep his ice cream? In the Frieza! 1
MissAnna Posted October 3 Report Posted October 3 30 minutes ago, WizardofOSS said: @MissAnna Awww....thank you! I'm glad you and others enjoy them. It's been a group project, but if you know any, feel free to post them! I Looovvveee Dad jokes! A fact not lost on my students at the Juvie center who moan and groan everytime I tell them one. They ask, "Why you gotta tell us those jokes man!!" I simply reply, "I love a captive audience!" I honestly don't know any dad jokes but I have been giggling to the ones on here 1
WizardofOSS Posted October 3 Report Posted October 3 (edited) An animal rescuer, homeless shelter director, a volunteer pediatrician and an ice cream machine repairman all arrive at the Pearly Gates. The animal rescuer meets with St. Peter and explains all the good he's done rescueing animals, saving them from neglect and abuse and finding good homes for them. St. Peter nods as the animal rescuer speaks and when completed, simply says, "That is wonderful, but we do not have room for you so I must send you elsewhere. I am sorry." With that the animal rescuer vanishes. The homeless shelter director meets with St. Peter and explains all the good she's done rescueing people, saving them from neglect and abuse, helping them obtain employment and finding good homes for them. St. Peter nods as the homeless shelter director speaks and when completed, simply says, "That is wonderful, but we do not have room for you so I must send you elsewhere. I am sorry." With that the homeless shelter director vanishes. Visibly shaken by this, the volunteer pediatrician allows the repairman to go first. The ice cream repairman approaches St. Peter who says, "Welcome! Come on in!" The gates open and the ice cream repairman enters. Gasping, the volunteer pediatrician approaches St. Peter desperately saying, "What is this? The Animal Rescuer saved hundreds of animals and the homeless shelter director saved hundreds of people and they went elsewhere? Yet, a simple ice cream repairman gets to enter? Why??" He's on the verge of tears. St. Peter simply replies, "Oh! We have a McDonalds" Edited October 3 by WizardofOSS 1
WizardofOSS Posted October 3 Report Posted October 3 What kind of Ice Cream goes into a bird bath? Bask'n Robins
WizardofOSS Posted October 3 Report Posted October 3 I once had a job at an ice cream shop, but quit soon afterwards... I don't like working on Sundaes. 1
MissAnna Posted October 4 Report Posted October 4 9 hours ago, WizardofOSS said: I once had a job at an ice cream shop, but quit soon afterwards... I don't like working on Sundaes. Okay this is the cutest one by far lol 1
WizardofOSS Posted October 6 Report Posted October 6 Did you know that Koi fish in the wild, swim in groups of four? In case predators approach, then "A" Koi, "B" Koi and "C" Koi scatter and swim away to safety... ...leaving the "D" Koi.
WizardofOSS Posted October 6 Report Posted October 6 Dating is a lot like fishing! Sure, there's plenty of fish in the Sea, but until I catch one... ...I am stuck here holding my rod.
WizardofOSS Posted October 6 Report Posted October 6 What did one dried fish say to the other dried fish? Long time no Sea!
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now