WizardofOSS Posted October 16 Report Posted October 16 I just wanted to express my appreciation to musicians for all the music they make. Especially the people that play the Triangles.... Thanks for every ting! 1
WizardofOSS Posted October 16 Report Posted October 16 What video game would a modern Hitler play? Mein Kraft!
WizardofOSS Posted October 16 Report Posted October 16 What starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn' and is a major part of the film industry? popcorn
WizardofOSS Posted October 16 Report Posted October 16 I am never playing video games with Jesus again... It takes him three days to respawn!! 1
WizardofOSS Posted October 17 Report Posted October 17 When you play the game Oregon trail, you eventually meet a man named Terry. Most people laugh when they hear his 'girly' name with some even selecting to tell him "That's a Girl's Name" That's when Terry shoots and kills you, which is the cause of..... ...you dying of dissin' Terry!
WizardofOSS Posted October 17 Report Posted October 17 A pun, A limerick and a play on words walked into a Bar... ...no Joke.
WizardofOSS Posted October 17 Report Posted October 17 What do kids play when they have nothing better to do? Bored-games
WizardofOSS Posted October 17 Report Posted October 17 What kind of musical instrument does a Con Artist play? A Lyre
WizardofOSS Posted October 17 Report Posted October 17 *Dark Humor* Spoiler Why can't Orphans play Baseball? They don't know where home is! "It's here! It's Here," he yells to the orphans..... LOL!!
WizardofOSS Posted October 17 Report Posted October 17 My wife rotates playing various instruments during the month. First week, she'll play her Guitar, Then the second week, she'll play with the Drum, Then the third week, she'll play with her Flute, Finally, she'll play with her violin and then she goes through the rotation again.... ...It's all part of her Minstrel Cycle.
WizardofOSS Posted October 17 Report Posted October 17 Did you hear about the kid who was injured playing Peek-a-Boo? ...She was taken to the I.C.U.!! 1 1
WizardofOSS Posted October 17 Report Posted October 17 Over the years, I learned never to play Poker with a Toilet... ...they get too many Flushes. *(Gen Z Bonus Joke) This girl managed to beat it though. She knew losing to a Toilet was just too skibidi! LOL!!
WizardofOSS Posted October 20 Report Posted October 20 Marriage is like a Deck of Cards, In the beginning, all you need is two Hearts and a Diamond... ...but by the end, all you want is a Club and a Spade! 1
WizardofOSS Posted October 20 Report Posted October 20 It was my Birthday and I got $500 from all the cards I opened!.... ...I love my job at the Post Office! 1
WizardofOSS Posted October 20 Report Posted October 20 Dear Dad, $chool i$ Great! I'm making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying hard. I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. ~ Your $on. Dear Son, I kNOw astroNOmy, ecoNOmics and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. do NOt forget the pursuit of kNOwlegde is a NOble task and you can never study eNOugh! ~ Love Dad! 1
WizardofOSS Posted October 20 Report Posted October 20 My son handed me his report card but it was all wet! I asked, "Why is it all wet?" He said ... ..."Because all the grades are below C-level" I laughed and was so proud of his humor, I couldn't get mad about the grades! 1
WizardofOSS Posted October 21 Report Posted October 21 I have no idea why my Credit Card keeps getting declined... Everytime I check, it says I have an outstanding balance!
WizardofOSS Posted October 21 Report Posted October 21 Time to change your Pin Number! With the Amazon Web Services outage, hackers released all the pin numbers in the World online! They are.... ...0001, 0002, 0003, 0004, 0005, 0006, 0007, 0008, 0009, 0010, 0011....
WizardofOSS Posted October 21 Report Posted October 21 Why was Anakin Skywalker rejected for a credit card? He applied for a Mastercard!
WizardofOSS Posted October 21 Report Posted October 21 What did Captain Kirk's music teacher put on his report card when he was little? ..."~He's having trouble with Trebles!" 1
WizardofOSS Posted October 21 Report Posted October 21 (edited) What's the number one reason people put for requesting a Medical Marijuana Card? ..."I need it for my joints!" Edited October 21 by WizardofOSS
WizardofOSS Posted Wednesday at 01:57 PM Report Posted Wednesday at 01:57 PM I remember walking into the post office before Valentine's day and seeing this older, bald man putting heart stickers on a stack of pink envelopes. Then I heard as he sprayed a bottle of perfume on them, "Channel" I think. This got me curious and I just had to ask, "What are you doing?" The man looked up at me and said, "Oh! I'm sending out this stack of 500 Valentine's cards, signed "Guess Who?" Surprised, I asked, "But why?" "Because I'm a Divorce Lawyer."
WizardofOSS Posted Wednesday at 04:04 PM Report Posted Wednesday at 04:04 PM When shopping, I found some great looking Valentine's Day cards. The Inscription inside said, "Baby, you're the only one for me!" I thought it was a great slogan... ...I bought 12.
WizardofOSS Posted Wednesday at 04:30 PM Report Posted Wednesday at 04:30 PM Inflation is so high right now... I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail CEO's are now playing miniature golf. Exxon Mobile fired 25 Congressmen McDonald's is selling the amazing 1/8 pounder Angelina Jolie adopted a child from the US Parents in Beverly Hills stopped hiring Nannies and learned their children's names A Busload of Americans were stopped trying to sneak into Mexico A Picture is now only worth 100 words The Treasure Island Casino is now managed by actual Somali Pirates I doubled the value of my car by filling it with Gas!
WizardofOSS Posted Thursday at 01:45 PM Report Posted Thursday at 01:45 PM You should respect people who wear glasses, after all... ...they paid money to see you!
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