wackadoodle Posted yesterday at 03:13 PM Report Posted yesterday at 03:13 PM "Knock, Knock." "Who's there?" "Iguana." "Iguana who?" "Iguana eat all your candy." 1
WizardofOSS Posted yesterday at 03:52 PM Report Posted yesterday at 03:52 PM 37 minutes ago, wackadoodle said: "Knock, Knock." "Who's there?" "Iguana." "Iguana who?" "Iguana eat all your candy." Nice one! I hadn't heard that before. Thanks!! 1
WizardofOSS Posted yesterday at 03:59 PM Report Posted yesterday at 03:59 PM In 2025, we don't call them "Halloween Costumes" anymore! That would be... ..."Occultural Appropriation"
wackadoodle Posted yesterday at 06:48 PM Report Posted yesterday at 06:48 PM Not a dad joke (I suck at them✨) so sue me: WizardofOSS has probably seen this though 1
WizardofOSS Posted yesterday at 07:01 PM Report Posted yesterday at 07:01 PM 7 minutes ago, wackadoodle said: Not a dad joke (I suck at them✨) so sue me: WizardofOSS has probably seen this though No, I haven't seen that. It's a great philosophy question though I don't know 'Jack' about it. 'Orange' ya gonna ask people what they think, or is this whole question 'squashed'? I will tell you that I won first place in a Pumkin carving contest... ....but it was a hollow victory. 1
WizardofOSS Posted yesterday at 07:40 PM Report Posted yesterday at 07:40 PM Finally little ones, another scary story... After a night of trick or treating, a Teen decides to take the short cut home through the Cemetary. In the middle of the Cemetary, he hears a tapping, "Tap, Tap, Tap..." A little scared, the teen looks around a tree and sees an old man, chiseling on a headstone, "Tap, Tap, Tap..." Relieved, the teen approaches the old man and says, "Pheww, I thought you were a ghost!" The tapping continues. "Tap, Tap, Tap..." Nervous, the teen tries to make small talk, "Uh...what are you doing out so late? Working?" "Tap, Tap, Tap..." The old man doesn't respond, but keeps chiseling. Nervous, the teen then asks, "What's wrong with the headstone?" "Tap, Tap, Tap..." "Damn!" says the old man... ..."Those idiots misspelled my name!" 1
wackadoodle Posted 23 hours ago Report Posted 23 hours ago 2 hours ago, WizardofOSS said: No, I haven't seen that. It's a great philosophy question though I don't know 'Jack' about it. 'Orange' ya gonna ask people what they think, or is this whole question 'squashed'? I will tell you that I won first place in a Pumkin carving contest... ....but it was a hollow victory. Wow, you really put the 'pun' in punkin carving! Just don't let the win get to your head, when you've already gutted the competition! 😭You also win the best dad jokes competition, you've made me want to suggest a smacking your own face reaction for the sheer amount of dad jokes I've wanted to react to with that. Your dad jokes are fang-tastic and grave-ly impressive! Keep up the spooktacularly ghoul-d work! Your jokes always boo-st our spirits and we're always witch-ing for more! Okay, okay I'll stop now..... Or will I? (oO0Ooo0oO0👻) I might be cursed by the punkin man! 1
WizardofOSS Posted 7 hours ago Report Posted 7 hours ago Happy Halloween!!! To all of those 'responsible' parents and adults out there, please don't hand out fruits, raisins, pencils or erasers this year!! Just good, clean and yummy candy please!! Eggs have gotten too expensive!
WizardofOSS Posted 7 hours ago Report Posted 7 hours ago Which came first, the Chicken or the Egg? At last night's Halloween Party, I dressed up as a Chicken. an hour into the party, I met a beautiful girl dressed up as an Egg. I suddenly realized the answer was Chicken!
WizardofOSS Posted 6 hours ago Report Posted 6 hours ago A guy walks into a Bar and orders a beer saying, "Happy Halloween everyone!" He talks to those near him, "You know, Halloween always reminds me of the time I met my wife." "I went to a costume party and saw her across the room," he continues. "She was standing there, all tall, thin and gorgeous! She had come with an obese girlfriend of hers" He says, "They had come together as the number Ten, and that's when I knew... "...she was the One!"
WizardofOSS Posted 6 hours ago Report Posted 6 hours ago With all the school shootings, no one seems to have a solid solution sadly. Fortunately, I have a solution! Just dress the school shooters in Stormtrooper outfits! No one will get shot!
WizardofOSS Posted 6 hours ago Report Posted 6 hours ago Why can't ghosts have babies? Because they have Hollow - weenies!
WizardofOSS Posted 6 hours ago Report Posted 6 hours ago I hope this Halloween is better than last year! Last year, I staked 5 Vampires, Beheaded 3 Zombies and Exorcised 8 Ghosts! That was just before my wife came out of the house screaming... No, no!! You give them Candy!!!
WizardofOSS Posted 5 hours ago Report Posted 5 hours ago So to celebrate Halloween, I was going to go to a 200 year old building that was apparently set up with shriveled old Corpses, dangerous Bandits, bloodsucking Vampires, hellbent soulless Demons and the like. However, it turns out... ...the Capitol building is closed for tours until a budget resolution is passed!
WizardofOSS Posted 1 hour ago Report Posted 1 hour ago (edited) And finally little ones, one final Halloween story... Dracula loved his pet bats, but they wanted to know who was the best, so he designed a competition for them! Simply, the Bat who could drink the most blood, in the least time, would be the winner! Eager and ready, the first Bat takes off for the woods.....Zoomm!! It then returns in ten minutes, it's mouth and fangs covered in blood. Impressed, Dracula asked, "Ah! Excellent! How did you do it? Blah, blah blah!" The first Bat squeaked, "Did you see that Tower? Behind it is a House and I went inside and drank the blood of the whole family!" Dracula exclaimed, "Very Good!!" Excited and pumped, the second Bat takes off for the woods....Zoooommmm!!! It then returns in five minutes! It's fangs and mouth drenched in blood! Very impressed, Dracula asked, "Ah! Excellent! What did you do? Blah, blah, blah!" The second Bat squeaked, "Did you see that Tower? Behind it and behind the House is a Hotel, and I went inside and drank all the blood of all the guests!" Dracula exclaimed, "Very, very Good!!" Practically foaming at the mouth, the third Bat takes off for the woods....Zooooooommmmmmm!!! It then returns after only one minute! It's fangs, mouth and even it's whole face is covered in blood!! Amazed and excited, Dracula said, "Oh my!! What ever did you do little bat? Blah, blah, blah!" The third Bat squeaked, "Did you see that Tower out there?" Nodding and excited, Dracula says, "Yes!!" "Well, I didn't." Have a Happy Halloween!!! 👻 Edited 1 hour ago by WizardofOSS
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