Found the right daddy?

[JoeyDaddy]

If you found the right daddy that treats you well respects your little space and encourages your to be a little treat him right. If he doesnt pressure you to do things you dont like and instead wants what you want then be a good girl for him. Its not easy bejng a real daddy because all we want to do is give and never take. Never tell your daddy you love him if you dont mean it. If you see yourself ghosting your daddy or you can go a day without talking to him then dont tell him you love him. Good daddys are hard to come by. Youre his princess act like one.

[redruffle41]

The key phrase is finding the right Daddy that treat you well. Tricky that.

[JoeyDaddy]

Yep absolutely it takes a long time to build trust. Make sure you tell potential daddys that and if they disagree then move on.

[redruffle41]

I think you're right. I haven't had any experiences here where the daddies are irrationally demanding trust right off the bat. I actually WISH it was that easy to sort out the good eggs from the bad. Lol. Usually I trust too soon. Very guilty there .....but I also like that part of my nature...it's the good part that I have to take care of but also be able to tap into no matter what. I'm a little but I'm strong. I can learn and I can take a lot of BS and keep going. I think the right Daddy would be very careful about how serious he actually is about me and be very much the gentleman and the boy scout.  Most daddies don't look a gift horse in the mouth and take and take.  A good daddy would seek to really examine his own heart about me before he got into any kind of conversation, dynamic, or even friendship.  Especially if he was looking for a LTR. Cuz that's what I'm looking for. LTR or nothing. I've got daddy friends and I don't really need any more. If there's a daddy that needs my help then they can ask cuz I'm very smart about DDlg in theory. It's all in my personal and in my profile. Serious inquiries only and I'm definitely watching out for Daddys behavior from day one.....

[Kittyara207]

If you can't be what each other needs than don't bother.  Any relationship needs trust, and work.  It's not always evident at first if it's going to work.  Life isn't like the books.  Being honest with yourself on what you want and need will help you find what you need.  Sometimes what we want isn't what we need.  Sometimes what we want is not feasible but still reach for it.  Maybe a better version is right around the corner.

I have seen the ones that demand from a few days in or the ones who don't respect the 'little' part.  And say the 'Good girls listen and do what they are told'.  Trying to manipulate and some might fall for it but once you realize what's happening you feel it's too late. 

I hate the term real or fake I think sometimes it's more one side doesn't fully understand what they are after. Or how the dynamic works or what it means to others.  And starting up conversations about it are difficult.  That's why as everyone has stated above TRUST.  Trust, safety, communication and taking ones time.  If you bring up your concerns on things and they change the subject or give partial answers take time to think it's not a quick jump into things.  

[JoeyDaddy]

If it doesnt feel like the best love youll ever have its not daddy love.

[minni]

personally, i don’t think you hafta talk to someone every day to prove you love them, and im looking for a CG who encourages me to improve, even if i struggle with or am resistant to those changes. i agree with Kittyara that people have different needs and that every dynamic is different. dont see the need to pressure anyone here to act a certain way besides the standard consideration, humility, and gratitude anyone in a loving relationship would wish to demonstrate. 

  it’s a good reminder, though, that both parties in this dynamic shouldn’t lose their individuality or be out of touch with their own needs. littles may be too submissive, CGs may neglect themselves, etc. 

[Baby Manda]

3 hours ago, JoeyDaddy said:

Yep absolutely it takes a long time to build trust. Make sure you tell potential daddys that and if they disagree then move on.

 

Trust is soooo hard... real trust. I can trust people at their word, until their action say otherwise.  It's usually fairly quick when I notice something is off, but I'm definitely up front with people and tell them that trust is incredibly difficult for me. (Extremely severe, we don't need to discuss it outside therapy, trauma). I only trust people who's actions match their words, which can be difficult in the DDlg world. 

I have learned that I need friends first before I need a Caregiver.  It's the easiest way to build trust. Someone I can communicate with for several months or more, agree and disagree with, who still is true to themselves at the end of the day. They can see me stumble and fall, or be a perfectly happy little baby girl, too. We can have fun and laugh, be silly, or be serious, but in a safe space, like this forum, where others are available to join in the conversation and help guide the discussion.  This helps to build trust, safety and security... at least for me. 

 

 

3 hours ago, Kittyara207 said:

If you can't be what each other needs than don't bother.  Any relationship needs trust, and work.  It's not always evident at first if it's going to work.  Life isn't like the books.  Being honest with yourself on what you want and need will help you find what you need.  Sometimes what we want isn't what we need.  Sometimes what we want is not feasible but still reach for it.  Maybe a better version is right around the corner.

I have seen the ones that demand from a few days in or the ones who don't respect the 'little' part.  And say the 'Good girls listen and do what they are told'.  Trying to manipulate and some might fall for it but once you realize what's happening you feel it's too late. 

I hate the term real or fake I think sometimes it's more one side doesn't fully understand what they are after. Or how the dynamic works or what it means to others.  And starting up conversations about it are difficult.  That's why as everyone has stated above TRUST.  Trust, safety, communication and taking ones time.  If you bring up your concerns on things and they change the subject or give partial answers take time to think it's not a quick jump into things.  

 

I've read so many posts about these topics and your right, it really does boil down to trust!

I love the story of The Tortoise and The Hare by Aesop (actually a Fable intended to teach a lesson). The lesson is if you rush through life, it may look like you are winning, but in the end you lose. Instead be like the tortoise, slow and steady wins the race. Be consistent in your choices and take time to be intentional about the choices you make before you make them. This is how you succeed in life and love. 

[redruffle41]

34 minutes ago, Baby Manda said:

 

Trust is soooo hard... real trust. I can trust people at their word, until their action say otherwise.  It's usually fairly quick when I notice something is off, but I'm definitely up front with people and tell them that trust is incredibly difficult for me. (Extremely severe, we don't need to discuss it outside therapy, trauma). I only trust people who's actions match their words, which can be difficult in the DDlg world. 

I have learned that I need friends first before I need a Caregiver.  It's the easiest way to build trust. Someone I can communicate with for several months or more, agree and disagree with, who still is true to themselves at the end of the day. They can see me stumble and fall, or be a perfectly happy little baby girl, too. We can have fun and laugh, be silly, or be serious, but in a safe space, like this forum, where others are available to join in the conversation and help guide the discussion.  This helps to build trust, safety and security... at least for me. 

 

 

 

I've read so many posts about these topics and your right, it really does boil down to trust!

I love the story of The Tortoise and The Hare by Aesop (actually a Fable intended to teach a lesson). The lesson is if you rush through life, it may look like you are winning, but in the end you lose. Instead be like the tortoise, slow and steady wins the race. Be consistent in your choices and take time to be intentional about the choices you make before you make them. This is how you succeed in life and love. 

But it's so hard to slow down!!!!!! 😭 I'm horrible at it and so frustrated. <Sigh>

[Kittyara207]

Yeah it is hard to go slow.  It's hard to remember that you need to do it.  Thinking things through while it's boring and not really what people want to do you got to do it.   

[JoeyDaddy]

@minnithats a really good point i suppose its more about making sure both needs are met and you prioritize them to make sure you both feel valued

[Josey Wales]

One thing is certain ! In all I’ve read in what all of you have shared , excellent points were made ! How lucky we are that there is a place like this where we can come to , share ideas , discuss issues because in this forum “ YOU HAVE a VOICE “ and that is the most important thing in a relationship, the ability to express your feeling and be HEARD , without that there is no relationship. This forum is a gold mine for those who need to express themselves, how lucky we all are that we have found it   May this Sunday be a peaceful one ! 

Edited April 13 by Josey Wales
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[Carleigh]

It's great to hear you've found someone who respects and supports you in your dynamic. Communication and mutual respect are key in any relationship, and it sounds like you have a solid foundation. Remember to appreciate the good things he brings into your life and be honest with your feelings. Just as it's important for him to respect your boundaries, it's also important for you to be genuine and considerate in return. Maintaining an open dialogue about your needs and ensuring both partners are happy and fulfilled will help keep the relationship healthy. Keep cherishing each other, and you'll continue to grow together.