Therapy And DDLG

[PigtailPrincess]

So since this is a more surface/generic question and not deep or troubling I chose to put it here.

I should be sleeping but it's therapy day and I was curious and looking for as much input as I can get. 

For those in therapy or been in therapy. Did you bring DDLG into it and if so when and to what extent? Thanks all!

[-Soul-]

I don’t have an answer for you, just following as I think I’m needing to find a therapist 

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

Hi hi 👋

I've discussed DDLG/adjacent with medical professionals (both health and mental health, as I'm chronically utilizing in/out patient settings) and have received mixed reactions.

And from my experiences, I've noticed that younger professionals handle the topic a little easier, or at least with less criticism towards it.

I think it depends on how deep into the subject you go, and if the individual is open-minded. If you're just talking about fashion or binkies, lighter chat will always get better results than a full bdsm discussion.

I've learned that it's always a good idea to ask the individual if they can handle heavier topics, before diving right in. Professionals or not, healthcare providers are still human and might require time to mentally prepare.

I occasionally will wear a binky out in public. It typically blends in with my Harajuku inspired fashion sense.

On one occasion, a therapist questioned me if I used it. I made the mistake of trusting their judgment and telling the truth. This was an older lady mid 50s early 60s. Let's just say I stopped using that particular service provider. Not just the therapist, but the entire company she worked for. 

On another occasion, a nutritionist couldn't remember my age as she was typing into her computer. I get rambly at my appointments, so not only did I mention my birth age, but also mentioned that I involuntarily age regress. I definitely caught her off guard, but she handled it well and the conversation moved on.

Out of these two professionals, the nutritionist handled it way better than the therapist. Yes, context was a little different for each, but I also will be going back to the nutritionist. The therapist's age and location (red) are probably why she handle it (or didn’t) the way she did. The nutritionist is a bit closer to my age and my current location (blue) probably helps as well.

[littlecloud]

Hi! I actually had a psychiatrist bring up something age regression adjacent in one of my appointments. I wouldn’t say it was necessarily random as i often expressed a few issues i had going on emotionally and mentally due to my childhood (i was pretty parentified) but him (an older professional) bringing it up was very shocking and i asked for clarification because i was in a sort of “does he know? how could he know?” state. 

 

I would definitely follow @.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ’s suggestion on being careful who you tell but the chance of a professional bringing it up to you isn’t necessarily out of the question (from my experience). it CAN be beneficial for them to know but always put yourself first and decide if they’re someone you’re comfortable with and trust. 

[Baby Manda]

So I'm treading lightly with my current therapist, out of an abundance of caution... most therapist I've had want me to be transparent until I upset/shock them... then it's time for a change, and 2 years of trust building again! However, I recently reconnected with my cousin who is a therapist.  She works specifically with people who are dealing with gender and identity questions in childhood through adulthood. She also is a Kink Aware Professional.  She trains other professionals on how to appropriately use therapy tools to work within a dynamic. She's trained to deal with trauma, regression,  dissociation,  DID, PTSD, mental illness, and healthy people involved in kink relationships who need help navigating boundaries.  She has written some amazing academic papers and teaches at a couple of colleges on the west coast. My immediate family kinda kept us apart the past few decades, but we reconnected in February.  We've been talking a bit the past few months about identity, sexuality, kink and trauma and how it all goes together. Her dad is really sick, so she's not super available,  but she has some great resources to get me thinking. She also has a great way of explaining why I respond in certain situations the way I do. Even though she's family, or maybe because she's family, secrets are out in the open and I feel safe with her.  She knows what to say and isn't afraid of my littlespace, regression or dissociation.  

I know it's really difficult to find safe professionals to share who you really are, especially right now as the climate is changing, but they do exist. And there are resources out there to help, even for regular therapist. Grace, forgiveness, and acceptance of yourself are really important places to start. 

[MoonGazingPrincess]

Hello! I did mention it but I didn't really delve into the specifics but I did talk about my issues surrounding it. It took a while for me to trust my therapist and see how supportive they were of similar issues before I dropped the ball. It went well though. If you have the capability, you can try to build more trust first before easing into it/opening up about it. Hope it works out for you!

[Andriel_Isilien]

I have brought it up a couple times with therapists. Not right away, of course but after several sessions and when I feel that it's relevant/safe to share. My current therapist is fine with the topic of DDlg. He is older (around 50) but quite open minded which I greatly appreciate. During the first appointment I dropped the F-bomb as a test to see how he would react. 😆 And he told me, "Thank you for doing that!" Later on, I brought up the communities I socialize with frequently both online and locally that are BDSM as well as LGBT. He was quite welcoming to that and is very supportive with LGBT 🙌 Because peoples' character on how they treat others is what matters.

I have heard about there being kink friendly therapists, but I haven't felt the need to make that the main focus when I look for one. I guess I got lucky? I have been in and out of therapy for over 15 years and I've lost count how many therapists I talked around my issues without progress. I didn't discover DDlg until about 8 years ago and that was shortly after finally making some headway in what type of therapy I needed. In therapy I would touch on the topic of what I use for coping. Age regression and littlespace helps me to regulate my emotions and prioritize self-care. There is so much comfort I get from it all. A big topic therapy is communicating with my inner child. That could have CG/lg tones with it but it's more like a mentor guiding me in using tools specifically in DBT and CBT. There's no dynamic or role playing.

[PrincessM_13]

My last therapist I brought it up her when I got back into it (I took a year long break from it after my breakup). It didn't go over too well. In my opinion she was a little judgy and thought that I was just doing it to fit into the online group I joined and not doing it because I really wanted to. Plus she had concerns with me being online even though I'm 25. My current therapist, I haven't told because I don't feel the need to and don't want to be judged again. 

[MissAnna]

I actually brought it up to my therapist, it was hard at first but I told her about me being a Mommy Dom and then identifying more with a sub/little. 

It's hard when you broach this subject at first but then you find yourself feeling more at peace because you are being true to yourself.

That's what therapy is about healing, and finding who you lost, who you were meant to be and who you always wanted to be. It takes time and it hurts but that's what therapy is, being honest and laying all your troubles on the table.

 

[redruffle41]

I think you should be able to talk with your therapist about sex and relationships. I agree with bringing up the topic in a thoughtful and respectful way. I brought it up by asking if I could talk about sexuality and specifically bdsm related topics. I got an immediate and compassionate green flag from my therapist (male therapist 🤯). I was able to tell him my specific area of interest in bdsm was in DDlg and asked if he knew about that and gave a super quick run down. Then I focused on how that fit into my personality. After that it's just been about relationships. My therapist helps me a lot with general life stuff and he always checks in with my feelings and progress in any relationship ✨ ✨ 

[redruffle41]

17 hours ago, PigtailPrincess said:

So since this is a more surface/generic question and not deep or troubling I chose to put it here.

I should be sleeping but it's therapy day and I was curious and looking for as much input as I can get. 

For those in therapy or been in therapy. Did you bring DDLG into it and if so when and to what extent? Thanks all!

Pigtail, are you looking to age regress or be little with a mental health professional?

[PigtailPrincess]

30 minutes ago, redruffle41 said:

Pigtail, are you looking to age regress or be little with a mental health professional?

Nooooo no no. Honestly that is a note go area for me. I am VERY private with my smol self and very few are trusted with her.

N9 I was more asking if yall had brought up age regressing in a therapeutic form or calling your partner their name. My regressing is fairly non sexual and I am also sexually private. This would just be for them to better understand some of the tools I use to cope.

 

[redruffle41]

Just now, PigtailPrincess said:

Nooooo no no. Honestly that is a note go area for me. I am VERY private with my smol self and very few are trusted with her.

N9 I was more asking if yall had brought up age regressing in a therapeutic form or calling your partner their name. My regressing is fairly non sexual and I am also sexually private. This would just be for them to better understand some of the tools I use to cope.

 

Thanks for clarifying!! You sound aware of your boundaries and areas of comfort. I hope you find a therapist that you feel positive about and do some good work with them to support you. I'm sure everyone on the forum would love an update on this topic. It's always nice to know how things turn out and celebrate life wins together 💜 

[PigtailPrincess]

@-Soul-

@littlecloud

@Andriel_Isilien

And many others.

Not able to respond currently individually but thank you all. I am reading and appriciate all the answers and have posted a little more to clarify after ruffles question.