power dynamics ???

[ivy_val]

i’m curious if any other littles/middles can relate to this.

im a v independent person n have been since my early teens n i appreciate my privacy.

since im new to the community, im wondering if maybe im in the wrong place. it seems many CG’s want to control every aspect of their little’s life from day 1. im sure some littles like that but i can’t agree. as nice as it may sound to them, i’m rlly not used to that n actually kinda hate it. i like to have my privacy n after all im still an adult who has many things to do each day.

is it wrong to want a CG who is more there as a supporting friend than a dom in my day to day life? someone who can be my equal? if it’s not wrong, am i searching in the wrong place?

idek if this makes sense n im sorry if this sounds so stupid : p

[littlegala]

Every dynamic is different. Daddys and caregivers come in different forms. But in all they just want to support and care for you. They want you to be happy. You’re both consenting adults and should be able to compromise on the rules. They shouldn’t make you do something that makes you uncomfortable. I don’t like my clothes being picked out for me and I know a lot of Daddys like doing that. But honestly I like dressing like a bum sometimes and don’t need anyone to tell me when I can or can not. That’s my limit and make it a point they know that. The rules can be negotiated. The same with them. I was talking to a guy once and he said his limit was diapers. He didn’t do them. I don’t wear them but I appreciate him telling me that. That’s my opinion. Welcome to the community 😊

[beanbean]

Just depends on the caregiver I guess like everything else . But that is why conversation is so important it’s up to set your boundaries and goals you get out of it

[ivy_val]

45 minutes ago, littlegala82 said:

Every dynamic is different. Daddys and caregivers come in different forms. But in all they just want to support and care for you. They want you to be happy. You’re both consenting adults and should be able to compromise on the rules. They shouldn’t make you do something that makes you uncomfortable. I don’t like my clothes being picked out for me and I know a lot of Daddys like doing that. But honestly I like dressing like a bum sometimes and don’t need anyone to tell me when I can or can not. That’s my limit and make it a point they know that. The rules can be negotiated. The same with them. I was talking to a guy once and he said his limit was diapers. He didn’t do them. I don’t wear them but I appreciate him telling me that. That’s my opinion. Welcome to the community 😊

thank uuu i appreciate the input :>

[DaddyUmbreon]

Welcome to the community. 

It is not wrong to want what you want, @ivy_val. There is no set rules on how this dynamic works or is set. It comes down to communication and boundaries. Both @littlegala82 and @beanbean hit it right on the head. Make it clear what you are wanting, where you will and will not negotiate and compromise, and set those boundaries. I have had some great partnerships that had very few or basic rules that allowed more freedom and independence and gave just the same amount of support. 

I would say to slowly get to know each other by conversation and asking questions. This helps to also weed out those that are there for the right reasons. You can also look at what your goals are. What is it each other wants from that relationship. I personally say to explore it the same way you explore any relationship. I've posted a few topics in the past on different things about this stuff. Here is one post to start if you would like.  

You are not in the wrong spot. You just need to do some filtering and sifting to find what you are looking for. Take your time and be patient. Feel free to ask any questions and I hope you find what you are looking for. 

 

[ivy_val]

21 minutes ago, DaddyUmbreon said:

Welcome to the community. 

It is not wrong to want what you want, @ivy_val. There is no set rules on how this dynamic works or is set. It comes down to communication and boundaries. Both @littlegala82 and @beanbean hit it right on the head. Make it clear what you are wanting, where you will and will not negotiate and compromise, and set those boundaries. I have had some great partnerships that had very few or basic rules that allowed more freedom and independence and gave just the same amount of support. 

I would say to slowly get to know each other by conversation and asking questions. This helps to also weed out those that are there for the right reasons. You can also look at what your goals are. What is it each other wants from that relationship. I personally say to explore it the same way you explore any relationship. I've posted a few topics in the past on different things about this stuff. Here is one post to start if you would like.  

You are not in the wrong spot. You just need to do some filtering and sifting to find what you are looking for. Take your time and be patient. Feel free to ask any questions and I hope you find what you are looking for. 

 

thank u for thisss 🙏🏽 i appreciate everyone’s insight, especially experienced people !! it makes me feel a lil better 😆

[CodeName: Trouble]

Hullo 👋

Communication is Key. I know it’s a broken record around here, but it’s the truth!

Every dynamic is unique, as every little/dom is unique! Don't be discouraged if you don't fall into the majority  just follow your joy, stick to your guns and find what works for you. The right person will be worth waiting for, and the right person will be willing to wait and communicate to fully understand you and your needs.

Giving out rules on day 1 or expecting obedience from strangers is red flag behavior. It’s okay for daddies to have preferences, but dynamics aren’t built overnight, rules should always be tailored to the individuals involved and it can take time to work up to all that. No need for people to be impatient if they are trying to build something to last. And don't be scared to tell people to slow down or that you aren't comfortable! 

Me and my daddy don’t really like rules and much prefer spoiling each other. I’m a service sub, my submission is rooted in doting on and taking care of my daddy’s day to day needs. I'm not obligated to thou, I just like it and I'm allowed to have off days. My daddy, instead of being a disciplinarian with a list of rules, focuses on being my safe place, giving me snuggles, and making sure I’m taken care of. We have a few rules, but nothing big and our relationship isn’t built on me being obedient – he is my best friend first and every rule and protocol we have is mutually beneficial.

I really like my personal space too, a condition of me moving in with Daddy originally was even having my own room/office and be allowed sufficient alone time. I also like going on solo trips, there is nothing wrong with some healthy independence! 

The right person will understand and celebrate you. Never make yourself smaller for someone else’s comfort – your confidence and independence will only be scary to the wrong kind of people. 

Good luck on your journey, wherever it takes you!

[ivy_val]

3 minutes ago, CodeName: Trouble said:

Hullo 👋

Communication is Key. I know it’s a broken record around here, but it’s the truth!

Every dynamic is unique, as every little/dom is unique! Don't be discouraged if you don't fall into the majority  just follow your joy, stick to your guns and find what works for you. The right person will be worth waiting for, and the right person will be willing to wait and communicate to fully understand you and your needs.

Giving out rules on day 1 or expecting obedience from strangers is red flag behavior. It’s okay for daddies to have preferences, but dynamics aren’t built overnight, rules should always be tailored to the individuals involved and it can take time to work up to all that. No need for people to be impatient if they are trying to build something to last. And don't be scared to tell people to slow down or that you aren't comfortable! 

Me and my daddy don’t really like rules and much prefer spoiling each other. I’m a service sub, my submission is rooted in doting on and taking care of my daddy’s day to day needs. I'm not obligated to thou, I just like it and I'm allowed to have off days. My daddy, instead of being a disciplinarian with a list of rules, focuses on being my safe place, giving me snuggles, and making sure I’m taken care of. We have a few rules, but nothing big and our relationship isn’t built on me being obedient – he is my best friend first and every rule and protocol we have is mutually beneficial.

I really like my personal space too, a condition of me moving in with Daddy originally was even having my own room/office and be allowed sufficient alone time. I also like going on solo trips, there is nothing wrong with some healthy independence! 

The right person will understand and celebrate you. Never make yourself smaller for someone else’s comfort – your confidence and independence will only be scary to the wrong kind of people. 

Good luck on your journey, wherever it takes you!

i needed to hear this (;_;) thank u so much, i’ll keep ur advice in mind

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

Communication and Boundaries 

Every dynamic within ddlg/bdsm relies heavily on those two key points.

Also, being completely submissive isn't mandatory for being a Little. D/s is a binary spectrum with many potential relationship partnerships.

Dom Littles and submissive caregivers exist. Along with many other diverse possibilities in ddlg.

[MissNMTX]

I'm going to agree with everyone else and say it all depends on your partnership. That's the beautiful thing about any D/s dynamic, you can build it and make it whatever works for the two of you.

Being independent in your life is a lovely thing many daddies would approach it. There are plenty of dynamics that are simply CG in little space. Really there's an example for dynamics probably beyond any combination you can imagine.

The hard part isn't going to be learning what you like and don't like. Rather, being patient enough and articulate enough....with strong boundaries, to wait for what you actually want.

[ivy_val]

48 minutes ago, MissNMTX said:

I'm going to agree with everyone else and say it all depends on your partnership. That's the beautiful thing about any D/s dynamic, you can build it and make it whatever works for the two of you.

Being independent in your life is a lovely thing many daddies would approach it. There are plenty of dynamics that are simply CG in little space. Really there's an example for dynamics probably beyond any combination you can imagine.

The hard part isn't going to be learning what you like and don't like. Rather, being patient enough and articulate enough....with strong boundaries, to wait for what you actually want.

ur so righttt thank u. i gotta face up to the facts