How can i tell littles that i want a sexual relationship from the get go without sounding like a creep

[Bndr]

I need slight help 

[Kaito]

Just take for granted that most people desire a sexual relationship with their partner and those that don't tend to advertise quite openly that they aren't interested. 

You'll regularly see people state being asexual or ace or other things.  

After that just get to know whoever it is you are talking to, if people are attracted too and comfortable with each other, it becomes an almost foregone conclusion. 
If your trying to skip that step then it ends up not "seeming" like and actually BEING what you want to avoid. 

[Cebakes]

Most Littles and women will probably be turned off by that.  There are littles and women out there that probably won’t have a problem with that, but I think 90% of those here would find that unappealing.  I don’t want to speak for people here, but I believe most are more interested in establishing friendships, relationships, trust and feelings before being intimate.  There are also many here that have no interest in sex.   
 

Being honest, I can’t imagine saying that to a woman.   You need to be skilled enough in the course of chatting with a woman to establish her sexual experience and desires.  It’s very easy to quickly determine what someone is looking for.   Asking the right questions and listening is very important.  You should be able to determine within a day or two if that person lines up with your desires.   

Are you on Fet Life?
 

 

 

[NR_Daddy]

I would say that trying to make that a priority is probably the wrong thing to do, and makes you look like you're after one thing above all else. From my experience, most would want to know if you have a caring, nurturing side before you even attempt to discuss such things. 

You could try getting to know someone and asking what they want from a relationship.

If you're posting an ad in personals, make it clear you want an intimate relationship as part of the dynamic.

Edited June 8 by NR_Daddy

[beanbean]

1 hour ago, Kaito said:

Just take for granted that most people desire a sexual relationship with their partner and those that don't tend to advertise quite openly that they aren't interested. 

You'll regularly see people state being asexual or ace or other things.  

After that just get to know whoever it is you are talking to, if people are attracted too and comfortable with each other, it becomes an almost foregone conclusion. 
If your trying to skip that step then it ends up not "seeming" like and actually BEING what you want to avoid. 

Well my advice is take it slow with lots of asking questions and such , so everything you need or want should be conveyed to a perspective partner 

[SweetLittleDreamer]

As a little, please please don’t just assume or “take for granted” that because we don’t have  anything in our profiles or posts that we might be non sexual that it must mean we are totally down to be sexual or talk about it straight away! Most littles don’t mention their preference for a reason! 

Well I can’t speak for all littles I feel it would be very rare to come across a little that wants to approach that conversation without talking first, and building some level of trust and having time to decide if there is potential or not. 

DDlg is so much more than just the sexual element, it’s about trust, care, nurturing, guidance, love, support, connection and so much more. Often times those elements are more important to a little than the sexual element (again I don’t speak for all littles).

If its an important element for you I recommend posting a personal or putting an about me on your profile and clearly stating it in that, then littles that it doesn’t bother will be able to reach out to you.. however, I still don’t recommend jumping straight into that line of conversation when/if littles do reach out, just because the idea doesn’t bother them, doesn’t mean all those above mentioned elements stop mattering to them & they are ok talking about it straight away, I am a firm believe of before asking them about their preference, it’s a good idea to ask if they are okay with talking about the sexual side first. 

[Little Skittles]

Step one: before contacting, read their profile and pay attention to "relationship status" 

Step two: respect those wishes ("looking for friends" does not translate to "dtf") 

Step three: Maybe keep that in personals section or clubs designated for such things (those do exist, right? 🤷) 

Viola!  Creep factor in check ... yvw 😁

 

[Little Skittles]

40 minutes ago, SweetLittleDreamer said:

As a little, please please don’t just assume or “take for granted” that because we don’t have  anything in our profiles or posts that we might be non sexual that it must mean we are totally down to be sexual or talk about it straight away! Most littles don’t mention their preference for a reason! 

Well I can’t speak for all littles I feel it would be very rare to come across a little that wants to approach that conversation without talking first, and building some level of trust and having time to decide if there is potential or not. 

DDlg is so much more than just the sexual element, it’s about trust, care, nurturing, guidance, love, support, connection and so much more. Often times those elements are more important to a little than the sexual element (again I don’t speak for all littles).

If its an important element for you I recommend posting a personal or putting an about me on your profile and clearly stating it in that, then littles that it doesn’t bother will be able to reach out to you.. however, I still don’t recommend jumping straight into that line of conversation when/if littles do reach out, just because the idea doesn’t bother them, doesn’t mean all those above mentioned elements stop mattering to them & they are ok talking about it straight away, I am a firm believe of before asking them about their preference, it’s a good idea to ask if they are okay with talking about the sexual side first. 

Yeah. All of that! 

[BabyPoppy]

So I'm supposed to be taking a break from everything/everyone right now to heal, but I stopped by to visit coz I miss my friends. (I chose this path with my mental health team. It is something I need to do for me.)

I saw this post and would like to share my heart as a little and as a woman. My personal view point, no one else's views. 

It is so much fun early in a relationship to be seen as both a little and a woman. To feel those feelings of comfort, care, and sexual appeal that a potential Daddy brings out. In littlespace I am much less restrained in what I say and much more innocent. My thinking is really young and so is my ability to make decisions.  I am extremely submissive and will do whatever is asked of me to the point of self-injury. Ecerythinh sounds appealing until I return to big space, which may not be for hours to days later. Then I may realize that even if I am comfortable with a Daddy in littlespace,  my big space self does not feel safe jumping in that fast. I am a successful adult. A single mother, a teacher, a leader in my school, a graduate student, a leader at my church and in my community.  Do I need help with balance and daily life? Absolutely 💯! I'm a hot mess and I love being cared for and nurtured, but as there are many different kinds of Daddies, there are also many different kinds of littles. 

As a little, I need to be able to trust my Daddy as a Daddy, Caregiver, friend, and as a sexual partner in both littlespace and big space. If that doesn't work for me, I need to walk away. Unfortunately,  my ability to maintain any relationship, even friendship is currently not working, so I am taking a break to heal and fix it. 

Again, I state, this is my thoughts, my options, my view point as a little and as a woman. Please know I do not speak for anyone else, only myself. If I am way off-base, please remove my post, as I'm not returning for awhile. 

My advice is go slowly.  Be sure you connect well in different head spaces.  Since we are all adults, we do all have grown-up responsibilities. Sometimes we do just want/need a relationship for the Caregiving aspects, but if it is to be long term, go slow and build trust, build friendship, build safety, build relationship.  

Poppy

[Josey Wales]

Well said , well written with excellent advice. I pray you heal and hope you enjoy your hiatus 

[Josey Wales]

You can always make it know from the beginning without being a creep , design your personal to reflect that you’re interested in a sexual relationship. Certainly little’s reflect in theirs where they stand   Just be honest , upfront 

 

That’s me / cents 😎

[DaddysMonkey]

The short answer ; be up front when getting to know a potential little for dating. Just flat out say , “Having a sexual relationship is a non negotiable for me , I don’t want to get your hopes up in the chance we do get along and click. If this is something that won’t work for you , it’s best to nip any feelings in the bud so neither of us get hurt.” 
 

My monkey brain answer : I hate that wanting a sexual relationship is seen as being a creep. Guess I’m a creep then too 🤷🏻‍♀️ I think it’s more the way someone goes about it that makes them a creep or not - rather than the actual desire to have a sexual relationship. As well as how quickly you’re expecting that relationship to happen after starting to get to know someone. Wanting sex after a week and only talking about sex ? Yeah , kinda creepy. Mentioning that you do want a sexual relationship within the DDLG dynamic as casual topic conversation , discussing future possibilities , not so creepy. 
 

I am not a fan of the whole idea that wanting sex in this lifestyle makes you a creep - whatever your role or gender is. I dunno… it’s always the actions that prove that in my opinion. 

[MoJo]

What I usually say is that “I enjoy a healthy mix of nsfw/sfw 50/50”

which is true for me. I wouldnt be interested in any nsfw if we cant click sfw. And I think its a decent way to lay out your preferences.