How can i tell littles that i want a sexual relationship from the get go without sounding like a creep

[Bndr]

I need slight help 

[Kaito]

Just take for granted that most people desire a sexual relationship with their partner and those that don't tend to advertise quite openly that they aren't interested. 

You'll regularly see people state being asexual or ace or other things.  

After that just get to know whoever it is you are talking to, if people are attracted too and comfortable with each other, it becomes an almost foregone conclusion. 
If your trying to skip that step then it ends up not "seeming" like and actually BEING what you want to avoid. 

[Cebakes]

Most Littles and women will probably be turned off by that.  There are littles and women out there that probably won’t have a problem with that, but I think 90% of those here would find that unappealing.  I don’t want to speak for people here, but I believe most are more interested in establishing friendships, relationships, trust and feelings before being intimate.  There are also many here that have no interest in sex.   
 

Being honest, I can’t imagine saying that to a woman.   You need to be skilled enough in the course of chatting with a woman to establish her sexual experience and desires.  It’s very easy to quickly determine what someone is looking for.   Asking the right questions and listening is very important.  You should be able to determine within a day or two if that person lines up with your desires.   

Are you on Fet Life?
 

 

 

[NR_Daddy]

I would say that trying to make that a priority is probably the wrong thing to do, and makes you look like you're after one thing above all else. From my experience, most would want to know if you have a caring, nurturing side before you even attempt to discuss such things. 

You could try getting to know someone and asking what they want from a relationship.

If you're posting an ad in personals, make it clear you want an intimate relationship as part of the dynamic.

Edited June 8 by NR_Daddy

[beanbean]

1 hour ago, Kaito said:

Just take for granted that most people desire a sexual relationship with their partner and those that don't tend to advertise quite openly that they aren't interested. 

You'll regularly see people state being asexual or ace or other things.  

After that just get to know whoever it is you are talking to, if people are attracted too and comfortable with each other, it becomes an almost foregone conclusion. 
If your trying to skip that step then it ends up not "seeming" like and actually BEING what you want to avoid. 

Well my advice is take it slow with lots of asking questions and such , so everything you need or want should be conveyed to a perspective partner 

[SweetLittleDreamer]

As a little, please please don’t just assume or “take for granted” that because we don’t have  anything in our profiles or posts that we might be non sexual that it must mean we are totally down to be sexual or talk about it straight away! Most littles don’t mention their preference for a reason! 

Well I can’t speak for all littles I feel it would be very rare to come across a little that wants to approach that conversation without talking first, and building some level of trust and having time to decide if there is potential or not. 

DDlg is so much more than just the sexual element, it’s about trust, care, nurturing, guidance, love, support, connection and so much more. Often times those elements are more important to a little than the sexual element (again I don’t speak for all littles).

If its an important element for you I recommend posting a personal or putting an about me on your profile and clearly stating it in that, then littles that it doesn’t bother will be able to reach out to you.. however, I still don’t recommend jumping straight into that line of conversation when/if littles do reach out, just because the idea doesn’t bother them, doesn’t mean all those above mentioned elements stop mattering to them & they are ok talking about it straight away, I am a firm believe of before asking them about their preference, it’s a good idea to ask if they are okay with talking about the sexual side first. 

[Little Skittles]

Step one: before contacting, read their profile and pay attention to "relationship status" 

Step two: respect those wishes ("looking for friends" does not translate to "dtf") 

Step three: Maybe keep that in personals section or clubs designated for such things (those do exist, right? 🤷) 

Viola!  Creep factor in check ... yvw 😁

 

[Little Skittles]

40 minutes ago, SweetLittleDreamer said:

As a little, please please don’t just assume or “take for granted” that because we don’t have  anything in our profiles or posts that we might be non sexual that it must mean we are totally down to be sexual or talk about it straight away! Most littles don’t mention their preference for a reason! 

Well I can’t speak for all littles I feel it would be very rare to come across a little that wants to approach that conversation without talking first, and building some level of trust and having time to decide if there is potential or not. 

DDlg is so much more than just the sexual element, it’s about trust, care, nurturing, guidance, love, support, connection and so much more. Often times those elements are more important to a little than the sexual element (again I don’t speak for all littles).

If its an important element for you I recommend posting a personal or putting an about me on your profile and clearly stating it in that, then littles that it doesn’t bother will be able to reach out to you.. however, I still don’t recommend jumping straight into that line of conversation when/if littles do reach out, just because the idea doesn’t bother them, doesn’t mean all those above mentioned elements stop mattering to them & they are ok talking about it straight away, I am a firm believe of before asking them about their preference, it’s a good idea to ask if they are okay with talking about the sexual side first. 

Yeah. All of that! 

[BabyPoppy]

So I'm supposed to be taking a break from everything/everyone right now to heal, but I stopped by to visit coz I miss my friends. (I chose this path with my mental health team. It is something I need to do for me.)

I saw this post and would like to share my heart as a little and as a woman. My personal view point, no one else's views. 

It is so much fun early in a relationship to be seen as both a little and a woman. To feel those feelings of comfort, care, and sexual appeal that a potential Daddy brings out. In littlespace I am much less restrained in what I say and much more innocent. My thinking is really young and so is my ability to make decisions.  I am extremely submissive and will do whatever is asked of me to the point of self-injury. Ecerythinh sounds appealing until I return to big space, which may not be for hours to days later. Then I may realize that even if I am comfortable with a Daddy in littlespace,  my big space self does not feel safe jumping in that fast. I am a successful adult. A single mother, a teacher, a leader in my school, a graduate student, a leader at my church and in my community.  Do I need help with balance and daily life? Absolutely 💯! I'm a hot mess and I love being cared for and nurtured, but as there are many different kinds of Daddies, there are also many different kinds of littles. 

As a little, I need to be able to trust my Daddy as a Daddy, Caregiver, friend, and as a sexual partner in both littlespace and big space. If that doesn't work for me, I need to walk away. Unfortunately,  my ability to maintain any relationship, even friendship is currently not working, so I am taking a break to heal and fix it. 

Again, I state, this is my thoughts, my options, my view point as a little and as a woman. Please know I do not speak for anyone else, only myself. If I am way off-base, please remove my post, as I'm not returning for awhile. 

My advice is go slowly.  Be sure you connect well in different head spaces.  Since we are all adults, we do all have grown-up responsibilities. Sometimes we do just want/need a relationship for the Caregiving aspects, but if it is to be long term, go slow and build trust, build friendship, build safety, build relationship.  

Poppy

[Josey Wales]

Well said , well written with excellent advice. I pray you heal and hope you enjoy your hiatus 

[Josey Wales]

You can always make it know from the beginning without being a creep , design your personal to reflect that you’re interested in a sexual relationship. Certainly little’s reflect in theirs where they stand   Just be honest , upfront 

 

That’s me / cents 😎

[DaddysMonkey]

The short answer ; be up front when getting to know a potential little for dating. Just flat out say , “Having a sexual relationship is a non negotiable for me , I don’t want to get your hopes up in the chance we do get along and click. If this is something that won’t work for you , it’s best to nip any feelings in the bud so neither of us get hurt.” 
 

My monkey brain answer : I hate that wanting a sexual relationship is seen as being a creep. Guess I’m a creep then too 🤷🏻‍♀️ I think it’s more the way someone goes about it that makes them a creep or not - rather than the actual desire to have a sexual relationship. As well as how quickly you’re expecting that relationship to happen after starting to get to know someone. Wanting sex after a week and only talking about sex ? Yeah , kinda creepy. Mentioning that you do want a sexual relationship within the DDLG dynamic as casual topic conversation , discussing future possibilities , not so creepy. 
 

I am not a fan of the whole idea that wanting sex in this lifestyle makes you a creep - whatever your role or gender is. I dunno… it’s always the actions that prove that in my opinion. 

[MoJo]

What I usually say is that “I enjoy a healthy mix of nsfw/sfw 50/50”

which is true for me. I wouldnt be interested in any nsfw if we cant click sfw. And I think its a decent way to lay out your preferences. 

[Mao]

Hiii.

not quite sure if littles are allowed to be around here jijiji, but this is my advice.

Don’t rush into the topic cause it might give the idea that you’re indeed a creep due to the importance and hurry that you’re putting in the topic. Is not like the first thing your going to say is “HIIMVERYINTOHAVINGASEXUALRELATIONSHIP” that’s gonna be an ice-maker, not an ice-breaker 

Bringing up that early is definitely going to give the wrong impression. Just treat it like any other topic when meeting a new person. I know you might feel impatient for that information because it allows you to filter prospects apart from friends, but be subtle, you can ask something like “did you end up here because of ddlg or because you’re looking for a little space environment?” That should give you an idea of their inclinations. If you notice that the person you’re talking with is open with their personal information and you feel that the interest in something else works both ways, you might ask directly. 

I hope that that you find the way on how not to be a creep jsjsjsjsjs 

bye 🫶🏻

[Lil_K47]

I think everyone here has given some sound advice.
 

personally, for me, I feel a well written profile is going to tell me most of what I want to know about a person‘s intentions. If I read through a person‘s profile and their needs/ wants/ desires don’t match my own. I’m not going to initiate contact. 
 

As someone who has a personal ad out there, If someone attempts to initiate contact with me and I then go and look at their profile and it says absolutely nothing. there’s a very good chance I’m not going respond back. 
 

I feel Iike I’ve been pretty informative in my own profile and personal. so let’s say for example , my ad says I’m looking for a monogamous relationship  (which it does) , and someone posts on my ad, and I check out their profile  and it’s says for example they are polyamorous, it’s the same as having no information, The chance of me responding back is slim to none!

the most important thing to remember in any conversation is to just be respectful! Make an honest attempt to get to know someone.  that’s the only way you’re going to be able to tell if your needs and desires match theirs. Actively engage in conversation and don’t make someone ask all the questions, ask questions back as well, that shows somebody that you’re actually interested in getting to know them! 

i cannot even begin to tell you how crazy it drives me to be having a conversation with somebody and I’m having to play ask 50 questions to get them to engage with me, and all I get back are one word responses, and no questions back in return. I feel like that gives me absolutely nothing to work with. I won’t continue with the conversation for long if someone isn’t engaging back with me.

 

Just my random thoughts. Best of luck.

 

🥰😊