Overcoming fears

[MissAnna]

Hello all you amazing wonderful people on here. How Have you all been lately? 

Has anyone had any Grand adventures lately?

As many of you know Friday was a hard day for me, I had felt like I was a failure and I felt like the world was collapsing around me.  

I had dreaded coming into work today, the last time I was at work I dealt with a case that would make most people run and hide. 

I dealt with something that crawled out of nightmares, and I didn't want to go back to work to face that again. 

I didn't want to face reality that cases like those existed, I didn't want to step back into  where I had completely been shattered and basically broke.

I tried to talk myself out of going to work today, I had made up every kind of excuse I could think of. But none of them really stuck, I tried to convince myself to stay home. 

As I put on my scrubs I tried to convince myself that I wasn't really needed today at work, as I put on my makeup I tried to make up an excuse of being sick. 

But I couldn't, I knew that I would be needed, so I sat on my bed scared knowing that I had to face my fears. 

I got in my car and I drove to work, thoughts swirling my brain as I wanted to turn around and go home. 

As I pulled into the parking lot I wanted to leave so badly, I wanted to cry and beg someone to say hey just go home. 

I stepped out of my car walking inside fear rushed my body almost crippling me, as I turned the corner tears began burning my eyes. 

And that's when another coworker of mine walked up to me and hugged me. She told me it was okay and and I held my composure that day with Grace and dignity. She held my face and told me I did everything I possibly could. She told me I wasn't a failure and that meant a lot to me. 

She told me she saw my composure changing throughout the day, and she knew that I wasn't okay. She hugged me for what seemed like hours and it made me feel not alone.

She told me not all days would be like Friday, and that it was okay to be sad but don't let the sadness take me over. 

As the day went on it became easier to breathe, at lunch I was so proud of myself because I actually ate. 

I slowly started realizing that it was okay, in the medical field you know that you will see bad things sometimes. But you don't ever think that it will cripple you with fear. 

And today the fear slowly started leaving, I can breathe I don't feel as lost as I have been. 

My mind is slowly calming down and I just, I just wish that I was a little easier on myself. That I allowed myself to know it's okay to be human. 

I'm home now and I'm very proud of myself for going the whole day, standing up to my fears it wasn't easy. I helped a lot people and I did my very best. And sometimes we have to remind ourselves that are very best is all we need to do.

Sometimes fears are crippling, they make us feel lost and alone. It's like they kidnap our minds and don't allow us to actually be us. 

So to anyone who is going through fears,  you're not alone we will overcome all of them. 

Thank you for listening to me babble for a few minutes. It's nice to know that I'm not alone. 

Until we meet again remember you matter, you're loved and you're worthy of being loved ❤️

Edited Tuesday at 01:13 AM by MissAnna

[-Soul-]

Your never alone Miss Anna, I’m right here always 💙💙

[FallenApprentice]

Your co-worker sounds lovely. Sometimes that's all we need. To know we're not alone and that someone, anyone, cares or shows kindness. It can be hard to find in today's world, but I'm glad to read that you're feeling better.