Trying to find a daddy destroying your little

[Littlered2327]

Excuse my bluntness but I just desperately need to rant…

Does anyone else feel like trying to find a daddy just kills the little in you sometimes? Like the going through the talking and getting to know someone. Then the whole getting attached and it not working? 
Am I the only one who wants to give up sometimes? 

[MrJJ]

This seems to be a pretty common thing in both Daddies and Littles. It's really easy to get burnt out from the "ups and downs" of being excited to talk to someone, the utter disappointment when it clearly won't work, or just the crushing solitude of no one even responding or feeling that you'll never find someone. 

I pretty much go through this cycle every singe day, or multiple times a day, and just feel like giving up being a Daddy or even trying. I'm also mentally ill, so take what I say with a grain of salt, lol.

But you're not alone, I promise.  

This is one of the reasons I preach writing a massive personal's ad with as much info about yourself as possible (you can check mine out as an example.) It's SUPPOSED to weed out the people that aren't good matches (they still show up) and will hopefully fast track you to someone more compatible. This will also minimize the back and forth of dealing with more people that aren't compatible, so you wont feel hurt as often.

I've also noticed quite a few Littles that just be little by themselves. They put themselves in little space, do all the little things they want, and just do it all themselves because they haven't found a Daddy. Or on the flip side, I've seen other Littles just not bother because they CAN'T be little without a Daddy, and that's OK too.

[Suzette]

Yes, so now I don't get emotionally involved anymore until I've met the person in real life and I find them attractive and we have a good feeling. Unless I'm missing something, and so I'm just looking for virtual exchanges.

[Little kaiya]

Back before I found my Daddy I made sure that even though we talked about DDlg in the early stages of a relationship there was ZERO interaction in that dynamic until a solid relationship foundation had been built and we were sure we meshed as people first. My Daddy, for seven years now, and I didn't even have our first Daddy/little time until 6 months into the relationship because we wanted to sure we were compatible as adults first. I know not everyone wants to wait that long but honestly I can say it was worth it because here we are still together seven plus years later.

Patience is so important but no matter how often people say it or encourage it there are still folks who dive in 110% right off the bat. I'm not going to judge those who do but what I will say is there seems to be MUCH more heartbreak from incompatibility, on both sides, when that's the approach.

Edited June 21 by Little kaiya

[HopeMuffin]

On 6/21/2025 at 11:48 AM, Suzette said:

Yes, so now I don't get emotionally involved anymore until I've met the person in real life and I find them attractive and we have a good feeling. Unless I'm missing something, and so I'm just looking for virtual exchanges.

How do you personally keep your emotions out of getting to know someone? It's easier said than done but beneficial in the long run. 

[MissNMTX]

Your feelings are very common. Not unusual at all. I wish I knew of a solution (I'd use it for myself first) the only thing I know is to learn from your experiences and keep trying.

[BabyPoppy]

On 6/21/2025 at 8:06 AM, Littlered2327 said:

Excuse my bluntness but I just desperately need to rant…

Does anyone else feel like trying to find a daddy just kills the little in you sometimes? Like the going through the talking and getting to know someone. Then the whole getting attached and it not working? 
Am I the only one who wants to give up sometimes? 

I think, for me at least, it's not just about finding a "Daddy" or "Caregiver" that hurts, but having a connection with others. It is really important to be affirmed and encouraged as a little. 

My littlespace is very young and very innocent. I trust everyone so easily and accept them at their word. I love others really easily in littlespace and in big space. Plus, I'm super submissive as a regular adult, but in littlespace my boundaries are gone. I trust others to be safe in their behavior, so I can embrace my little self around them. This includes my little friends, potential Daddies or Caregivers,  and others who are interacting with me. In other words, be respectful when interacting with me coz this is a safe space to be little! (Thank you Admin Team for keeping me safe when I need it ❤️). 

The stressful part for me was when I posted a personal and had so many Daddies reaching out... I was overwhelmed! Many of them thought they knew me based on things I had said here, but that's only part of who I am. Like @Little kaiya said, we all have a grown-up side, too. That's a big part of who I am, too, and I don't really talk about that part of myself here. 

My little could be compatable with a Daddy, but as adults we may not work at all... I like the advice of being friends. Get to know people. Take it slowly. Life has ebbs and flows like the ocean... sometimes it's roaring seas and sometimes it's peaceful. Always be yourself and build friendships to meet your need for comfort and companionship.  

[minni]

i feel you too! i will say for me at least, the more you get hurt the easier it is to be desensitized the next time. or guarded. we learn with each experience. i think when you’re finding someone for the delicate headspace of being little, protecting yourself is the first priority; you’re your own caregiver so to speak. 

i’ve also considered giving up, thinking i’ve spent too much time imagining the ideal and being disappointed to not find a match or “the one”. i wonder if id have an easier and safer time in a vanilla environment like dating apps. but i think there’s still hope and there’s great advice here and on this forum.

my advice would be don’t forget to take care of yourself and step back if you need to ! when the hurt feelings fade, then you can objectively decide if you want to keep pursuing this or set it aside. 

[pastelfoxes]

Super common. It's exhausting and I personally can't anymore, but I wish everyone good luck in finding their others.