What I see

[MissAnna]

Good morning, afternoon or evening where ever you might be in this beautiful world here..

I hope you all are having beautiful adventures and making memories of a lifetime.

When I was younger I couldn't look in the mirror for fear of what I would see. 

Because if I looked in the mirror I would see a broken little girl, with a family who hated her and no one to save her. 

Growing up, I would cover mirrors because they reminded me  how much everyone hated looking at me. 

They hated the way I smiled, they hated my laugh, they hated the way I looked and they just hated me.

It took me years to look in the mirror without flinching, it took me years to be able to sit in front of the mirror and just smile at myself without crying.

A few years back I made myself look in the mirror, I made myself see who I truly was...

You know what I found?

A broken young woman who deserved to be loved instead of being abused and unwanted. I didn't see a monster they had told me I was daily. There was nothing wrong with my smile and my laugh was loud but it wasn't terrifying. 

I remember crying and wondering how cruel do you have to be to hurt a child? To break a child down to nothing just to feel better about yourself? To make a child live in a world that looked as if it walked out of a horror movie.

As I got older I started speaking about my trauma, I began sharing my life story with those who were so scared to talk about theirs. I was able to spot people who had dealt with trauma and abuse. It opened a door to see people in pain and now I can say in front of you all I am an advocate for childhood trauma victims. 

My past was meant to break me and make me bitter. But it lost because it made me see those around me in pain and gave me compassion for those in need. 

So today if you are having a hard time looking in the mirror, please remember you are not any of those bad things you were told..

You are not ugly.

You don't talk too much.

You are not annoying.

You are not bad.

You are not stupid.

You are not too big or too little.

You are not too much. 

You are not unloved.

You are not unwanted.

You are beautiful!

You are perfect!

You are brave!

You are smart!

You are amazing!

You are needed!

You are good!

You are wanted!

You are loved!

My door is always open to anyone, who needs a friend or someone to just listen.

No matter what storm you are going through you no longer have to stand in the rain alone. We will stand with you and hold an umbrella over your head so you won't get wet.

Until we meet again remember you matter, you are loved and you are worthy of being loved 

 

 

 

[BabyPoppy]

Thank you for these words. I needed to read them again.