Feeling awkward and or ashamed about being little

[peanutpuppy]

Sometimes I feel so small inside, like I just want to curl up and be cared for—but I get too shy to say anything. It's hard to tell someone that I'm feeling little, that I want use a pacifier, or do simple little things that make me feel safe and comforted. I worry about being judged or misunderstood, so I keep it all to myself, even when the need feels heavy. I just wish I could express it without fear, that someone would understand without me having to explain everything. It's not about being childish—it's about needing that space to feel soft, safe, and seen.

I recently started talking to a Daddy, and he makes me feel so little and soft inside—just really safe and mushy, y'know? But sometimes I feel weird or awkward when I try to express what I like, and I think that makes him misunderstand me. Like, for example, he asked about me wanting a paci since I never got another one after trying it once (i broke it) , and instead of being clear, I kind of indirectly said I wanted it—which probably gave him the wrong idea. Q. I think he has a feeling, but I just want to get to a place where I feel comfy enough to talk openly and freely when I’m in little space—or even just be myself without feeling so nervous about it. 

 I wanna be able to talk in a little voice over text, even slur my words or say silly, cutesy things without feeling cringe or awkward about it. I wish I could just fully talk like a little, whether I’m texting or on the phone, and not second-guess how it sounds. I don’t want to keep holding back or filtering myself out of fear that I’ll be misunderstood or seen as weird. I just wanna feel safe being in that soft, small headspace and have it feel okay to show it.

Does anyone else have this problem

Edited July 8 by peanutpuppy

[SweetLittleDreamer]

Firstly @peanutpuppy welcome to the forum, I can see you have joined relatively recently.

Now onto the main point of the post.
I want you to know that there is nothing to feel awkward of ashamed about being or feeling little. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to slip into a safe, soft and small headspace. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to have someone take care of you when you feel little & theres nothing wrong with wanting to use pacifiers & diapers. There is no right or wrong way to feel or be little. 
Regression or entering littlespace is a very valid for of self care, self regulation & a very valid coping strategy. 

When we first start talking to someone that we feel has potential to be in that care giving role for us it can be both equally as exciting and scary at the same time. There is so much to talk about, to learn and discover, but what is absolutely crucial is not racing into it, it’s so important that you go at a pace that is comfortable for you, never let anyone try to pressure or force you into telling them something. If someone asks you a question your not ready to answer you can absolutely tell them that, or if your comfortable to tell them something but not on detail your absolutely allowed to just share what your comfortable with, that could be something as simple as “my littleside does have a lot of tendencies & needs that are inline with the younger side of the little scale, but I’m not ready to go into detail yet” the right person is simply going to accept that and not get upset or bothered by that. Never feel pressured to say anything more than you’re comfortable with! 

This forum is a safe, welcoming & judgment free space, full of amazing, wonderful incredible people who. It’s a little corner of the world where you can be both your big and little self with out fear of being judged or misunderstood. There are so many different posts and clubs here, places you can speak as little as you want until your hearts content, places you can go to engage with imaginative play and even threads with games. This forum is also filled with littles & care givers a like just waiting to be friends.

Among those littles & care givers are some incredible people with a lot of experience & knowledge. I know from personal experience they are always more then happy to give advise and offer a guiding hand without hesitation

To very quickly touch on your point to feeling uncomfortable to tell people that when your feeling little you want to use stuff like diapers & paci’s, there is also nothing wrong with that & the right person isn’t going to mind one bit… I believe there may even be a club for members who like to use them, but I’m not sure on that one, someone else here can hopefully confirm!

I truly hope that on this forum you find everything your looking for, be that friends, a care giver, a place to feel safe to be yourself both in big & little space or all of the above! 

[Prince]

@peanutpuppy i understand. i can't bring myself to baby talk in any way even though i feel the urge to, hence the essay you're reading right now. i've seen many littles talk about this sort of thing, so you're definitely not alone! 

on the subject of shame, it's something i've dealt with a lot so i have some general advice to share. 

long rambling ahead 

 

first off: building tolerance. do you ever think someone is shameless? they might be, or maybe not. plenty of people do feel shame, they simply push past it. so it's not that they're shameless, they just learned how to cope and deal with shame better. 

exposure therapy is a good start. you don't have to force yourself through terrifying endeavors, even little steps do wonders. something i do is keeping a little journal where i allow myself to talk how i want (given the shame, it's more like i fight myself to do it.) very low stakes but i'm already seeing improvement. talking to other littles has also helped with building confidence and creating a safe space (my brain says they won't judge because they're like me so i'm more comfortable around them, plus it's a good support system)

the goal is to sit with these feelings for long enough that your brain goes "you know what? this isn't as bad as i thought, there's nothing to be scared of!" 

coping, self-soothing, emotional regulation. those are keys that make the process easier. when you have to do something scary: can you do it in an environment that makes you feel safe? can you bring a comfort object with you? can you do something soothing during it? etc.

 

then there's working around it. okay, sometimes you really need to say something but you can't. good news is that there are ways to say things without saying them. 

my personal favorites are guessing games. i affectionately call them my riddles. you can even make it fun! as a general rule of thumb, yes or no questions can be easier to answer. there's also writing things down beforehand, like a letter that you can hand over. it feels more detached since you're technically not saying it in the moment. a digital equivalent can be typing it in the notes and then copy pasting or screenshotting it and hitting send before you think twice. 

remember that communication goes a long way.

"i want you to know that it's difficult for me to be honest about my feelings and put them into words"

"i'm shy so it takes time and effort to open up to people, even when i really want to"

"there's something i want to tell you but i can't bring myself to say it, can we try this instead?"

other people won't know you're struggling otherwise. you have to give them the grounds to help you communicate. 

 

unlearning shame is something that requires plenty of introspection. personally i went to therapy.

shame has a purpose like all other emotions. describing it in my own words, that's your brain protecting you from judgement by making you afraid of expressing yourself. being judged is painful and your brain doesn't want you to suffer, so it makes you avoid situations where that might happen. 

something that helped me unmeasurably was working on how i see other people (not everyone is mean, i need to trust others and have faith that they won't judge me) as well as myself (my quirks are acceptable, i'm not inherently "weird" or unlovable, if someone's mean it's their problem and not my fault)

again, easier said than done. i'm glad to hear you identified the problem because even that can be a challenge. the process requires a lot of fighting yourself in order to do things. it's quite frustrating! but i promise you it's achievable, you just need to be patient and kind to yourself. 

 

all that said, you don't have to push yourself. you don't owe anybody any information, especially if they haven't earned your trust. you're always allowed to go at your own pace. NEVER let anyone make you feel otherwise.

[peanutpuppy]

6 hours ago, SweetLittleDreamer said:

Firstly @peanutpuppy welcome to the forum, I can see you have joined relatively recently.

Now onto the main point of the post.
I want you to know that there is nothing to feel awkward of ashamed about being or feeling little. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to slip into a safe, soft and small headspace. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to have someone take care of you when you feel little & theres nothing wrong with wanting to use pacifiers & diapers. There is no right or wrong way to feel or be little. 
Regression or entering littlespace is a very valid for of self care, self regulation & a very valid coping strategy. 

When we first start talking to someone that we feel has potential to be in that care giving role for us it can be both equally as exciting and scary at the same time. There is so much to talk about, to learn and discover, but what is absolutely crucial is not racing into it, it’s so important that you go at a pace that is comfortable for you, never let anyone try to pressure or force you into telling them something. If someone asks you a question your not ready to answer you can absolutely tell them that, or if your comfortable to tell them something but not on detail your absolutely allowed to just share what your comfortable with, that could be something as simple as “my littleside does have a lot of tendencies & needs that are inline with the younger side of the little scale, but I’m not ready to go into detail yet” the right person is simply going to accept that and not get upset or bothered by that. Never feel pressured to say anything more than you’re comfortable with! 

This forum is a safe, welcoming & judgment free space, full of amazing, wonderful incredible people who. It’s a little corner of the world where you can be both your big and little self with out fear of being judged or misunderstood. There are so many different posts and clubs here, places you can speak as little as you want until your hearts content, places you can go to engage with imaginative play and even threads with games. This forum is also filled with littles & care givers a like just waiting to be friends.

Among those littles & care givers are some incredible people with a lot of experience & knowledge. I know from personal experience they are always more then happy to give advise and offer a guiding hand without hesitation

To very quickly touch on your point to feeling uncomfortable to tell people that when your feeling little you want to use stuff like diapers & paci’s, there is also nothing wrong with that & the right person isn’t going to mind one bit… I believe there may even be a club for members who like to use them, but I’m not sure on that one, someone else here can hopefully confirm!

I truly hope that on this forum you find everything your looking for, be that friends, a care giver, a place to feel safe to be yourself both in big & little space or all of the above! 

Thank you so much for the warm welcome and thoughtful words! I really appreciate how kind and understanding this community is. It’s comforting to know that there’s no right or wrong way to explore this side of myself, and that I can take things at my own pace. I’ve always been a little hesitant about opening up to others about the things I enjoy or need when I’m in littlespace, but hearing that it’s okay to just share what I’m comfortable with makes me feel a lot better.

 

I totally agree—being able to express myself here without fear of judgment is so important. It’s really reassuring to know that there’s a space where I can be both my big and little self, and that I’m not alone in these feelings. I’m definitely looking forward to connecting with others who understand and share similar experiences.

 

I’ve also been curious about using things like pacifiers and diapers when I’m in that headspace, but I’ve felt nervous about opening up about it. Your reassurance that the right person won’t mind is really helpful. It’s comforting to know that I’m not the only one who feels this way.

 

Thanks again for creating such a supportive and understanding environment here! I’m excited to get to know everyone and see what this space has to offer. 

[peanutpuppy]

3 hours ago, Prince said:

@peanutpuppy i understand. i can't bring myself to baby talk in any way even though i feel the urge to, hence the essay you're reading right now. i've seen many littles talk about this sort of thing, so you're definitely not alone! 

on the subject of shame, it's something i've dealt with a lot so i have some general advice to share. 

long rambling ahead 

 

first off: building tolerance. do you ever think someone is shameless? they might be, or maybe not. plenty of people do feel shame, they simply push past it. so it's not that they're shameless, they just learned how to cope and deal with shame better. 

exposure therapy is a good start. you don't have to force yourself through terrifying endeavors, even little steps do wonders. something i do is keeping a little journal where i allow myself to talk how i want (given the shame, it's more like i fight myself to do it.) very low stakes but i'm already seeing improvement. talking to other littles has also helped with building confidence and creating a safe space (my brain says they won't judge because they're like me so i'm more comfortable around them, plus it's a good support system)

the goal is to sit with these feelings for long enough that your brain goes "you know what? this isn't as bad as i thought, there's nothing to be scared of!" 

coping, self-soothing, emotional regulation. those are keys that make the process easier. when you have to do something scary: can you do it in an environment that makes you feel safe? can you bring a comfort object with you? can you do something soothing during it? etc.

 

then there's working around it. okay, sometimes you really need to say something but you can't. good news is that there are ways to say things without saying them. 

my personal favorites are guessing games. i affectionately call them my riddles. you can even make it fun! as a general rule of thumb, yes or no questions can be easier to answer. there's also writing things down beforehand, like a letter that you can hand over. it feels more detached since you're technically not saying it in the moment. a digital equivalent can be typing it in the notes and then copy pasting or screenshotting it and hitting send before you think twice. 

remember that communication goes a long way.

"i want you to know that it's difficult for me to be honest about my feelings and put them into words"

"i'm shy so it takes time and effort to open up to people, even when i really want to"

"there's something i want to tell you but i can't bring myself to say it, can we try this instead?"

other people won't know you're struggling otherwise. you have to give them the grounds to help you communicate. 

 

unlearning shame is something that requires plenty of introspection. personally i went to therapy.

shame has a purpose like all other emotions. describing it in my own words, that's your brain protecting you from judgement by making you afraid of expressing yourself. being judged is painful and your brain doesn't want you to suffer, so it makes you avoid situations where that might happen. 

something that helped me unmeasurably was working on how i see other people (not everyone is mean, i need to trust others and have faith that they won't judge me) as well as myself (my quirks are acceptable, i'm not inherently "weird" or unlovable, if someone's mean it's their problem and not my fault)

again, easier said than done. i'm glad to hear you identified the problem because even that can be a challenge. the process requires a lot of fighting yourself in order to do things. it's quite frustrating! but i promise you it's achievable, you just need to be patient and kind to yourself. 

 

all that said, you don't have to push yourself. you don't owe anybody any information, especially if they haven't earned your trust. you're always allowed to go at your own pace. NEVER let anyone 

I do try little steps like you meioned—sometimes it’s easier in spaces where I know I won’t be judged. Like with other littles, I feel safer, like they get it. But even then, I still get those moments where my brain just locks up, and I don’t know how to express what I’m feeling. It’s like I want to say it, but the words don’t come, and I get so frustrated with myself for not just being able to open up. The thought of being vulnerable sometimes feels like a huge risk, and my brain's like "why bother? just keep it in."

The journal idea you mentioned sounds interesting, though. I feel like writing things out would give me the space to do it without the immediate pressure of saying it out loud. Maybe that’s something I can try more often. And I like the whole "yes/no questions" thing too—sometimes I just can’t form a sentence, but at least that’s a way to get something across. It’s a bit less scary, I guess.

But honestly, I think the hardest part is getting past the constant worry about being judged. I do see that a lot of it comes from my own brain protecting me from that pain, but it doesn’t make it any easier. I’ve tried talking to people about it, like you said, but it’s a lot easier said than done. I want to trust others more, but I also worry they won’t get it or will think I’m weird. Like, I know that’s my fear talking, but it’s still hard to shut that part of me down.

So yeah, sometimes I just hold bac k because I don’t know if I’m ready to open up like that. And I guess that’s okay too, right? There’s no rush. If it takes time, it takes time. It’s just about trying to be patient with myself, even when I really don’t want to be.

[Prince]

59 minutes ago, peanutpuppy said:

I do try little steps like you meioned—sometimes it’s easier in spaces where I know I won’t be judged. Like with other littles, I feel safer, like they get it. But even then, I still get those moments where my brain just locks up, and I don’t know how to express what I’m feeling. It’s like I want to say it, but the words don’t come, and I get so frustrated with myself for not just being able to open up. The thought of being vulnerable sometimes feels like a huge risk, and my brain's like "why bother? just keep it in."

The journal idea you mentioned sounds interesting, though. I feel like writing things out would give me the space to do it without the immediate pressure of saying it out loud. Maybe that’s something I can try more often. And I like the whole "yes/no questions" thing too—sometimes I just can’t form a sentence, but at least that’s a way to get something across. It’s a bit less scary, I guess.

But honestly, I think the hardest part is getting past the constant worry about being judged. I do see that a lot of it comes from my own brain protecting me from that pain, but it doesn’t make it any easier. I’ve tried talking to people about it, like you said, but it’s a lot easier said than done. I want to trust others more, but I also worry they won’t get it or will think I’m weird. Like, I know that’s my fear talking, but it’s still hard to shut that part of me down.

So yeah, sometimes I just hold bac k because I don’t know if I’m ready to open up like that. And I guess that’s okay too, right? There’s no rush. If it takes time, it takes time. It’s just about trying to be patient with myself, even when I really don’t want to be.

mhm. i try to stay positive but the truth is that it's really tiring. i've been at this for years now and i've seen the improvement, but boy is it endless work.

i think shame is an especially insidious fear because it's everywhere. the only way to avoid it is to avoid living life altogether - and that sucks! and of course it's at its worst when you want to connect with others.

even knowing how far i've come, i have days where i don't try to be brave because i don't have it in me. it takes a lot of effort to fight myself and i don't always have the energy.

i think all this is perfectly okay, absolutely. it's not easy. that's even more of a reason to be patient and kind with ourselves, which also means allowing ourselves to rest. as you said, if it takes time, it takes time. everybody in the world has their own pace and we just so happen to be on the slower side.

i'm glad some of my suggestions helped. if you're interested in journaling, there's quite a few prompts on agere tumblr (i'm sure you could find some on other sites as well.) i find them helpful since i sometimes get stuck on what to write

[Teardrop]

On 7/6/2025 at 11:38 PM, peanutpuppy said:

Sometimes I feel so small inside, like I just want to curl up and be cared for—but I get too shy to say anything. It's hard to tell someone that I'm feeling little, that I want use a pacifier, or do simple little things that make me feel safe and comforted. I worry about being judged or misunderstood, so I keep it all to myself, even when the need feels heavy. I just wish I could express it without fear, that someone would understand without me having to explain everything. It's not about being childish—it's about needing that space to feel soft, safe, and seen.

I recently started talking to a Daddy, and he makes me feel so little and soft inside—just really safe and mushy, y'know? But sometimes I feel weird or awkward when I try to express what I like, and I think that makes him misunderstand me. Like, for example, he asked about me wanting a paci since I never got another one after trying it once (i broke it) , and instead of being clear, I kind of indirectly said I wanted it—which probably gave him the wrong idea. Q. I think he has a feeling, but I just want to get to a place where I feel comfy enough to talk openly and freely when I’m in little space—or even just be myself without feeling so nervous about it. 

 I wanna be able to talk in a little voice over text, even slur my words or say silly, cutesy things without feeling cringe or awkward about it. I wish I could just fully talk like a little, whether I’m texting or on the phone, and not second-guess how it sounds. I don’t want to keep holding back or filtering myself out of fear that I’ll be misunderstood or seen as weird. I just wanna feel safe being in that soft, small headspace and have it feel okay to show it.

Does anyone else have this problem

I've never gone through that but a friend of mine does and I keep reassuring her and hopefully you that it's just the person you are and nothing to be nervous or ashamed of it's something you should embrace and realize that you are very special. People that really care about you well always be there for you no matter what 

[MasterPhotog]

On 7/7/2025 at 12:38 AM, peanutpuppy said:

Sometimes I feel so small inside, like I just want to curl up and be cared for—but I get too shy to say anything. It's hard to tell someone that I'm feeling little, that I want use a pacifier, or do simple little things that make me feel safe and comforted. I worry about being judged or misunderstood, so I keep it all to myself, even when the need feels heavy. I just wish I could express it without fear, that someone would understand without me having to explain everything. It's not about being childish—it's about needing that space to feel soft, safe, and seen.

I recently started talking to a Daddy, and he makes me feel so little and soft inside—just really safe and mushy, y'know? But sometimes I feel weird or awkward when I try to express what I like, and I think that makes him misunderstand me. Like, for example, he asked about me wanting a paci since I never got another one after trying it once (i broke it) , and instead of being clear, I kind of indirectly said I wanted it—which probably gave him the wrong idea. Q. I think he has a feeling, but I just want to get to a place where I feel comfy enough to talk openly and freely when I’m in little space—or even just be myself without feeling so nervous about it. 

 I wanna be able to talk in a little voice over text, even slur my words or say silly, cutesy things without feeling cringe or awkward about it. I wish I could just fully talk like a little, whether I’m texting or on the phone, and not second-guess how it sounds. I don’t want to keep holding back or filtering myself out of fear that I’ll be misunderstood or seen as weird. I just wanna feel safe being in that soft, small headspace and have it feel okay to show it.

Does anyone else have this problem

@peanutpuppy Thank you for sharing this so openly. What you described is not a problem at all but completely valid—sometimes we all need to return to a place where we feel safe and comforted, especially when the world feels overwhelming. Being a little and wanting to feel soft, safe, and seen isn’t a problem at all; it’s beautiful and deeply human. You’re not alone in this, and I hope you find spaces and people who hold that kind of tenderness without judgment. You deserve to express yourself freely and be met with understanding. 💛

[ivy_val]

little to little, i felt this way for yrs bc honestly couldn’t come to terms w actually bein little for a long time . it took up until discoverin the forum for me to feel comfortable w myself .

sometimes i still catch myself second guessin things n thinkin maybe m weird, maybe this isn’t healthy . but after makin friends in the community, especially w other littles, i don hv those thoughts as much ^^

when it comes to hvin a safe space for urself, online n offline, this is a great place jus for that . lots of cool, sweet ppl n plenty of posts to explore if u hv questions n doubts . they’ve certainly helped me a lot  n in real life, tryin to create a safe space in ur own room w some things that make u feel little can help a lot w the worry of bein judged . bc who will judge u if is jus u in ur own room ? but everybody navigates things differently  n there’s nothing wrong w tryin different things to see what ur comfy with !

also talkin in littlespace can feel weird for a while, there’s nothin wrong w feelin that way . maybe try writin in a personal journal n get comfy w the way u talk, talkin to urself in ur head or out loud can help too ^^

i hope my tiny bit of advice may help ❤️ welcome to the community n i hope u find ur own little space (haha) here !!

[Sicarie]

I struggle with this too, so I understand how you feel to an extent. 

Mine stems from being of an older age (I'm 43), and thinking I need to act and look a certain way for my age. Acting, talking, and dressing little can feel wrong to me because of that. I just had a discussion with Bear (my Daddy) about this last night. He enjoys little talk and when I am being little, but I can feel very self conscious about it even though he's made me feel safe to do so. At most, I tend to get in to middle space with him, it's being little that is a hang up for me still. I wish I could let my fears go and be small all the time lol. 

I really hope you can find the comfort and safe space to be the wonderful little that you are. There are wonderful threads in the littles section of the forums that really fit for littles who want to be in their space and interact with other littles and chat together. I would maybe suggest maybe joining in there to help you. They are all such cuties in there and are really nice. 

[Josey Wales]

One thing for sure little’s are special , unique in their own way , hopefully they realize this and learn to be comfortable in their own skin   I do realize it’s difficult in a world that’s often cruel   The world would be a better place if more people felt that way 

[Guest amalka]

Finally, someone who feels the same as me!! I completely understand. I'm going through the same thing and I don't know what to do. I know that we shouldn't be ashamed but it's hard to deal with😔I feel small almost all the time and I'm very sensitive. None of the men who came into my life were ever interested into stuff like this and I always tried to hide that side of me. That effort ended up hurting my relationships... I didn’t even know I had this side of me, but I was still hiding my true feelings. I guess this urge to hide myself has been there since I was a child. At least now I know I’ve been hiding it. I’m aware of myself.

 

Edited August 10 by amalka

[Cranius]

I made a post for this very thing.