Late night thoughts

[BabyPoppy]

It was a looooong week! Way too long... I sat down to watch a movie and color... I started watching The Bad Guys.... all the sudden Sing 2 was on and I was dreaming about college! Someone calling me "Baby Girl" Wow! Great memory dream... but now I can't sleep for real! 

Like was I really in a ddlg relationship back in college? Or several relationships?

There's a couple years that are fuzzy... meds... therapy...family saying time to grow up... switching colleges a few times... but Wow! I've been little my whole grown-up life! 

Yay!!! 

Wait! What does this mean about who I am? 

Does my family know?

How did I stay safe all this time?!

(Oh yeah, I didn't)

Do other people take stuffies to college with them? 

And coloring books?

And start college having never used naughty words before?

Or seen a tattoo on a person? Or realized that people peirce things other than their ears? (Hello freshman orientation at the all girls college!)

So many thoughts in my head!

When life has been too much and others tell me just grow up, this is what it means to be an adult. I feel shame, guilty, anger, fear, hurt, rejection,  loneliness.  

Here, on the forum, I have found others who experience life as I do. When faced with a lot of grown-up responsibilities,  they get overwhelmed,  too. We find peace in our littlespace activities,  in being who we are, regardless of physical age. 

Yes, maybe I could have had a ddlg relationship years ago, but then maybe I would not have found this community.  

So in conclusion,  words of wisdom from Timon and Pumbaa "You gotta put your past behind you"

I am so happy I know I am little now and have my little friends here on the forum! 

Now sleep tight my friends! 

[SweetLittleDreamer]

My brain likes to remind me of those times I did this or that embarrassing me all over again… like “oh hey remember the time you tried to jump over a muddy puddle at an interschool sports carnival in front of not only your school but 5 others… and then landed on your butt in the muddy puddle!?” Stuff like that! 

[BabyPoppy]

4 minutes ago, SweetLittleDreamer said:

My brain likes to remind me of those times I did this or that embarrassing me all over again… like “oh hey remember the time you tried to jump over a muddy puddle at an interschool sports carnival in front of not only your school but 5 others… and then landed on your butt in the muddy puddle!?” Stuff like that! 

Oh no!!! I'm so sorry! That's awful!