Bigs/CGs -- What do you expect from your littles?

[Cranius]

Everyone is different, and I know this will depend on each pairing/dynamic, but I'm looking to just crowdsource some answers and pick out commonalities. Do you expect your littles to follow a ruleset or schedule? If you're more relaxed, how do you make sure that your littles know what you would like from them? Feel free to post your own set of expectations for what works for you! I am just doing a little research to see things from the caregiver's perspective, since I am a little. 

[Little kaiya]

My Daddy and I operate from a simple starting point, we are both adults and need to communicate as such. As adults we talk and create rules together because for us DDlg is an equal partnership within a bigger adult relationship. We have rules that we both agreed upon and if a rule isn't working for one of us we sit down, discuss and renegotiate.

Certainly there are rules that He or I prefer more than the other person but rules NEVER push past hard limits. We may set rules that push soft limits but like in all things they are informed by both of us having an open, honest, adult discussion first.

Just as it's important I know what He expects from me it is equally important He knows what I expect from Him. Without thst two way communication, for us, ot stops being a dynamic within a relationship and becomes a dynamic outside a relationship which so often ends very, very poorly and is not at all something we want as a couple.

[Journey]

In our relationship, we have sort of settled into this routine where if I am a good daddy, she is a good little girl. Especially early in our relationship, she would act up if I was not being the daddy she wanted me to be. In many ways, she was attempting to train me on how to be a good daddy by rewarding and punishing my behavior, which is interesting since she is supposedly the submissive little girl.

The only thing that I really expect from her is to treat me with respect. It is also one of the few things I will punish her for. Normally I reward good behavior rather than punish bad behavior, but this is an exception. And I am not talking play punishment, I mean real punishments, like not giving her what she wants when she acts disrespectful. This is also a boundary for me, but I also enforce it like a rule, when necessary. 

Once she was taught not to cross that boundary or else there will be consequences, I have not had a problem ever since. 

It should be noted that she is age regressed most of the time and talking it out like adults didn't always work out, especially when we first got married. We could talk it out like she was 10 or 11 years old, but not as adults. It's not that she wouldn't understand what I was saying, but more that her emotional maturity meant I had to be a bit more patient with her and explain it in terms she could understand. Like if your 10 year old is bullying their younger sister and you have to sit down and talk to them about why she should stop doing that. She had some toxic behavior that had to addressed. Now that toxic behavior has been replaced with more positive behaviors, like communicating what you want instead of resorting to threats or insults and coercion.  

And before people give me the side eye, I tried the adult conversation route. That does not work as well with someone who was age regressed to about 8 to 10 at the time... nearly all of the time. When I started treating her as if I was teaching a 10 year old life lessons, she responded much better. You have to meet them where they are, and communicate with them on their level. She's grown since we married, and now hovers between 11 up to maybe 13. It is easier to have adult conversations when she is closer to 13 in age regression. Interestingly enough, she actually still prefers daddy to teach her as if she were a child. As I mentioned in other posts, I married a perpetual child. 

As far as other things, I don't really expect much. We both agreed to be married for life through all of the ups and downs, and I expect that she will keep her promise as long as I keep my promise. I also realize that she will only stay if I treat her well, which I try to do.

I do spoil her though, giving her almost anything she wants. There are many things that I want or even need, but the only thing I actually expect from her is to treat me with respect. 

I am not sure if that was what you had in mind when you asked the question, but hopefully that gives you some insights.