Collars 101?

[PrincessM_13]

Hey everyone. My dom wants to collar me. He’s talked to me about it and asked my input in what I would like and sizing without showing me what he got me exactly. This is my first time being collared and in a bdsm relationship and I’m nervous but excited. 
 

im wondering from you all: what is it like being collared for the first time? How long into your relationship were you collared? How did you feel about it? 

[MasterPhotog]

@PrincessM_13 

Thank you for sharing and seeking guidance — it’s completely natural to feel both nervous and excited, especially when it’s your first relationship and things are moving into the next level. 

Assuming while your Dom is anxious to collar you, you don't seem to be on the same page or fully ready for it. If that's the case, his proposal to collar you is already a huge red flag. 

I'm sure other would have more suggestions, the way I see it, regardless of the kind of relationship you're in, both parties must be on the same page and ready for the transition into the next level, or you're risking the relationship to possibly become abusive or forced. The shift for a Dom to collar the sub to be the natural next step must come gradually, with full emotional foundation and full willingness of the sub.

Although your partner seeking your input shows your Dom values your voice and comfort, to ensure your own happiness you I suggest you ensure the following: 
1. Seek full clarification as to what collaring mean to your Dom and how it would change the relationship for you
2. Take your time, listen to your heart and see if you're ready for the change or challenge
3. Make the process gradual with an option to revert back in case things don't go exactly as you expected 

Best of luck!
 

[Faelin]

Remember, even as a sub, you have all the power. You can and should say NO to anything that makes you uncomfortable.  

[Little kaiya]

Collaring can have very diversified meanings and levels of importance depending on who you ask. There are people who wear a collar as a fashion accessory. There are those who use it as part of kink like pet play or or bedroom scenes. There are folks who use it as part of BDSM high protocols. For others it is a sign of ownership or commitment while others use it as something fun and a passing phase.  And still others who collar themselves.

For my Daddy and I, Collaring was and us very serious and very significant, it's along the lines of wedding vows in terms of how seriously we take it. The discussion of Collaring wasn't something we even brought up for the first two years we were together because of the importance we attribute to it. My Daddy Collared me in our third year of being together, with my Wife's blessing. I have a play collar for intimate moments and a locked day collar for day to day, with the key always around my Daddy's neck. My play collar is am not allowed to touch, just like the matching leash.

Before we got my collar, it was custom made, all three of us sat down and designed it together, just as we would a wedding band. When I was collared it was as special a moment as when my Wife and I exchanged our wedding vows.

Was I nervous, absolutely not, because there were dozens of hours of conversation beforehand and multiple years of dating. We see a lot of folks jump into Collaring early on in relationships because "it looks cool" or "that's what you do in BDSM" or one partner pressures the other. For us Collaring is a life long, deep and abiding commitment that comes from mutual love, respect and commitment.

[Ricky H]

They everyone, I am here daddy that she talking about. 

I read some thing you all said and being helpful to her is amazing.

 

For my point of view, collar have been a thing we been talking about and it still new to both of us. But I want to point out that none of these is for abuse and anyone that try to use is as a way to abuse anyone should be ban from the community. That right there get me really mad when people does that kind of thing. For my little bear princess, she allowed her light and also the word no. If she wanted a safe word, she would also had that. Just because I bought her the collar from the long list she gave me thwt she would have allowed on her neck but also like doesn't mean it be force on her. She got to accept it because she want it. 

 

I love her so freaking much and this next step is really big and she wanted to ask people for guidance but also help seen she love the idea but that much commitment make her nervous some. Plus with past relationship, it make her scared, so I understand why she is nervous and glad she asking for information. Be kind to her and helpful but please do not make comments about abuse and force because we not in to that kind of thing and never will be. She a light sub and mostly a little with all kinds of age range. Nothing that is like slave or hard things. So please also keep that in mind with commitment.

[Ricky H]

On 7/28/2025 at 6:14 PM, Faelin said:

Remember, even as a sub, you have all the power. You can and should say NO to anything that makes you uncomfortable.  

So true and anyone that try to say other whise is wrong even after you allowed the person to collar you.

[Ricky H]

On 7/28/2025 at 9:38 PM, Little kaiya said:

Collaring can have very diversified meanings and levels of importance depending on who you ask. There are people who wear a collar as a fashion accessory. There are those who use it as part of kink like pet play or or bedroom scenes. There are folks who use it as part of BDSM high protocols. For others it is a sign of ownership or commitment while others use it as something fun and a passing phase.  And still others who collar themselves.

For my Daddy and I, Collaring was and us very serious and very significant, it's along the lines of wedding vows in terms of how seriously we take it. The discussion of Collaring wasn't something we even brought up for the first two years we were together because of the importance we attribute to it. My Daddy Collared me in our third year of being together, with my Wife's blessing. I have a play collar for intimate moments and a locked day collar for day to day, with the key always around my Daddy's neck. My play collar is am not allowed to touch, just like the matching leash.

Before we got my collar, it was custom made, all three of us sat down and designed it together, just as we would a wedding band. When I was collared it was as special a moment as when my Wife and I exchanged our wedding vows.

Was I nervous, absolutely not, because there were dozens of hours of conversation beforehand and multiple years of dating. We see a lot of folks jump into Collaring early on in relationships because "it looks cool" or "that's what you do in BDSM" or one partner pressures the other. For us Collaring is a life long, deep and abiding commitment that comes from mutual love, respect and commitment.

Wow, this I love, it is so much more then what other make out of it and the deeper meaning is like wow. I also believe it like getting married and means so much more then someone putting a collar on their neck and having just more control over someone. 

 

It should mean a lot more with 24/7 as well even if you change from a day to night one. Seen the feeling they can get could be a hole lot. (Just what i have read seen it still new with everything) 

 

Thank you for sharing! If you have any good advice and tips, be helpful. 

We still talking over all even those it bought the collar she wanted. But before it happened, I want her to be 100% on board with it and not be nervous the hole time before we go about Collaring ceremony. 

[PrincessM_13]

22 hours ago, Ricky Harleman, said:

They everyone, I am here daddy that she talking about. 

I read some thing you all said and being helpful to her is amazing.

 

For my point of view, collar have been a thing we been talking about and it still new to both of us. But I want to point out that none of these is for abuse and anyone that try to use is as a way to abuse anyone should be ban from the community. That right there get me really mad when people does that kind of thing. For my little bear princess, she allowed her light and also the word no. If she wanted a safe word, she would also had that. Just because I bought her the collar from the long list she gave me thwt she would have allowed on her neck but also like doesn't mean it be force on her. She got to accept it because she want it. 

 

I love her so freaking much and this next step is really big and she wanted to ask people for guidance but also help seen she love the idea but that much commitment make her nervous some. Plus with past relationship, it make her scared, so I understand why she is nervous and glad she asking for information. Be kind to her and helpful but please do not make comments about abuse and force because we not in to that kind of thing and never will be. She a light sub and mostly a little with all kinds of age range. Nothing that is like slave or hard things. So please also keep that in mind with commitment.

Thank you for your comment daddy 🤭 I love you so much too and seeing your comment just made me really excited. 

Edited August 3 by PrincessM_13

[little locket]

I love and agree with all comments before. Collars are a big thing to me and my daddy too. 

My little contribution is to think about getting more than one. I technically have 3, one is my all the time day collar, which is a neckless chain with a pretty padlock that my Daddy has main key too (but spare is in my jewellery box incase of emergency). I have a 2nd padlock that's super pretty for if we go out to event or date. And one that just a plain, unassuming neckless that I'm not allowed to touch when on, thats more for situation like around my family (who are quite conservative). 

[Ricky H]

On 8/4/2025 at 4:10 PM, little locket said:

I love and agree with all comments before. Collars are a big thing to me and my daddy too. 

My little contribution is to think about getting more than one. I technically have 3, one is my all the time day collar, which is a neckless chain with a pretty padlock that my Daddy has main key too (but spare is in my jewellery box incase of emergency). I have a 2nd padlock that's super pretty for if we go out to event or date. And one that just a plain, unassuming neckless that I'm not allowed to touch when on, thats more for situation like around my family (who are quite conservative). 

 

Right now it just one that looks like a normal necklace seen it be allowed at work and also around her mother, seen they around each all the time. But want to get more later on, when we live with each other. But not rushing it those. 

You want to share your story with getting your first collar with your daddy? Just like to see what people have done when getting one for the first time. 

Thanks for the idea for different collar. 

[Little kaiya]

Depending on how people view collaring the associated ceremony is a very private and intimate thing. For my Daddy, Wife and I, it's something that was, is and always will be very private. We looked at what was important to us, what signified conscious and intentional submission through trust and vulnerability.

The ceremony itself was incredibly personalized and not something we share the details of with other people. Yes, family and friends know i wear a locked day collar but how that came to be around my neck, the commitments made, those are just for us.