Collars 101?

[PrincessM_13]

Hey everyone. My dom wants to collar me. He’s talked to me about it and asked my input in what I would like and sizing without showing me what he got me exactly. This is my first time being collared and in a bdsm relationship and I’m nervous but excited. 
 

im wondering from you all: what is it like being collared for the first time? How long into your relationship were you collared? How did you feel about it? 

[MasterPhotog]

@PrincessM_13 

Thank you for sharing and seeking guidance — it’s completely natural to feel both nervous and excited, especially when it’s your first relationship and things are moving into the next level. 

Assuming while your Dom is anxious to collar you, you don't seem to be on the same page or fully ready for it. If that's the case, his proposal to collar you is already a huge red flag. 

I'm sure other would have more suggestions, the way I see it, regardless of the kind of relationship you're in, both parties must be on the same page and ready for the transition into the next level, or you're risking the relationship to possibly become abusive or forced. The shift for a Dom to collar the sub to be the natural next step must come gradually, with full emotional foundation and full willingness of the sub.

Although your partner seeking your input shows your Dom values your voice and comfort, to ensure your own happiness you I suggest you ensure the following: 
1. Seek full clarification as to what collaring mean to your Dom and how it would change the relationship for you
2. Take your time, listen to your heart and see if you're ready for the change or challenge
3. Make the process gradual with an option to revert back in case things don't go exactly as you expected 

Best of luck!
 

[Faelin]

Remember, even as a sub, you have all the power. You can and should say NO to anything that makes you uncomfortable.  

[Little kaiya]

Collaring can have very diversified meanings and levels of importance depending on who you ask. There are people who wear a collar as a fashion accessory. There are those who use it as part of kink like pet play or or bedroom scenes. There are folks who use it as part of BDSM high protocols. For others it is a sign of ownership or commitment while others use it as something fun and a passing phase.  And still others who collar themselves.

For my Daddy and I, Collaring was and us very serious and very significant, it's along the lines of wedding vows in terms of how seriously we take it. The discussion of Collaring wasn't something we even brought up for the first two years we were together because of the importance we attribute to it. My Daddy Collared me in our third year of being together, with my Wife's blessing. I have a play collar for intimate moments and a locked day collar for day to day, with the key always around my Daddy's neck. My play collar is am not allowed to touch, just like the matching leash.

Before we got my collar, it was custom made, all three of us sat down and designed it together, just as we would a wedding band. When I was collared it was as special a moment as when my Wife and I exchanged our wedding vows.

Was I nervous, absolutely not, because there were dozens of hours of conversation beforehand and multiple years of dating. We see a lot of folks jump into Collaring early on in relationships because "it looks cool" or "that's what you do in BDSM" or one partner pressures the other. For us Collaring is a life long, deep and abiding commitment that comes from mutual love, respect and commitment.