If You Feel Shame, Or Feel Like You Have To Hide As A Little - Read This

[Cranius]

Hallo Meine Freuende (Hello my Friends),

I've seen some posts recently about the following:

• Feeling ashamed about being a little.
• Being afraid to open up to a partner about being a little.
• Being afraid of judgement from others.
• Negative self-talk about being a little.

I would like to plant a flag down and make one thing absolutely clear: no one will shame you here. You are safe, and you are perfect the way you are. And, as the wonderful @MissAnna is so fond of saying: you are loved and worthy of being loved. 

If you have nowhere else to go, this is a place you can go. If you have no one else to talk to, I am here to talk to you, and you may message me anytime. 

Being a little can be challenging. All our lives, we are told to grow up, to be independent. To be a little, we are going against that very strong, potent, omnipresent social current. (And my deepest empathy for little boys and mommies, who swim even further upstream against the masculinity and femininity expectations). 

Going on this journey takes strength, but if you are here, you are strong. You have already sought out community, advice, counsel, and safe-harbor. Some people go their whole lives wishing, but you are here-- you are acting upon what you know is right for you. And, if nobody else has commended you for that, I will. Good job. 

I came to these forums arguably at my lowest point in the last 60 months. I had to have the universe strip away most of my life as I knew it in order to come here. I have a whole post on my journey with shame, and I don't want to go into that here and detract from the point of the post-- I would just like you to know that you don't have to have your whole life stripped away to accept yourself. We will all accept you here.

If you're reading this and you're unsure of your journey as a little, or you're afraid to open up to your partner, or you're ashamed of yourself-- acknowledging that and processing that is the first step. 

That can start here. You don't have to hide anymore. Hiding who you are can create pain. It can repress parts of yourself, or create barriers between yourself and a partner. It can create mistrust, jealousy, resentment, sadness, and numbness.

If you have shame, fear, or uncertainty, we are all here for you. And if nobody has extended you an invitation to talk, have a friend, or have an ear: I am. 

Mit Liebe und Umarmungen (With Love and Hugs),

Joey 

 

Edited August 2 by Cranius
clarity

[Princess snuggles]

Thank you.

I’m a little and a girl, and I’ve had people, IRL friends too, even those also in the CGL community, tell me that being a little should always be easy for me.

It’s not.

I’m a childhood abuse survivor (which I try not to talk about), and I’m also the oldest sibling. I had to grow up really fast. By the time I was 5, I’d learned how to be independent and how to take care of someone who depended on me.

Me and independence have a really weird relationship, I love it and hate it. I’m so capable because I had to be, but that’s also made it really hard to trust.

I’ve had years of therapy and healing (as much as one can), but the insecurities around being a little still flare up sometimes. Truthfully, that’s because it has felt dangerous at times, especially when, as a literal child, the people meant to protect me were the ones who hurt me.

I got triggered a while ago and deleted my old account, but I’ve come back with a new one, and I’m slowly remembering that I am valid.

Lately, I’ve felt really alone and kind of broken in general. And I can’t explain how much I needed to hear what you wrote.

So thank you. Deeply.

[tressygirl1119]

Joey you're such a dang doll for writing all this--much like Princess Snuggles i needed to read all that, too. i'm fairly new to the DDlg scene (been in the BDSM broader scene for about 6yrs now) and have only just been learning to lean in to my littleness and not be ashamed of it. Daddy loooves seeing me be my truest self, which has deffo made it easier, but much like you shared, it's been a journey through shame and self-hatred to get to where i am. i only just started to consider accepting my little side about 3-4mos ago and man it's been TOUGH sometimes! Particularly since i've had to be so independent for so long because no one has been there for me my entire life up until i started dating my Daddy a little over 6yrs ago. thank you sooo much for reminding me of my strength and that i'm welcome here (i get anxious about new people and places so i've been lurking mostly until today, woohoooo yay bravery!). you seem like a great dude and an awesome little and a good friend. 🫂

 

Princess Snuggles, please know that while i wish neither of us would've had to deal with abuse of any kind, you're not alone. i'm also a trauma survivor (0-26ish) that i don't love to talk about either. i'm so glad you've also pursued healing with therapy (as much as one can, of course!) because it's been instrumental in my ability to accept myself as a little. i guess i just wanted to reach out and say you're not alone and if you ever want an ear to listen, i'd be honored, but there's absolutely no pressure! we're both valid and amazing littles and we deserve to live our authentic lives. ❤️

[LuckyLilac]

Thank you for this. I'm new here, but I think still being within my first 2 years of discovering my little side is maybe contributing to some internalised shame I feel. That, and while I have a very happy, loving, CG/l heavy polycule, that's only 1/4 of my time. For the other 3/4, I'm still living with my parents. It feels hard not to at least hold onto some shame while having to go to stupid lengths to hide this. I've had a few times of openly dressing as gothy as I can while improvising cause middlespace stood between me and something maladaptive, and gladly no questions yet. 

 

Similarly, even in my "progressive" communities, I've seen the vibe be "SFW agere for trauma is fine, but not this *edge kink*". It hurts. Not least as I don't have trauma, though this does help me cope with various things, but there's undeniably a kink side to it. That's why I came here, hoping to feel connection when I'm otherwise alone in this.

 

Mini rant over lol

[Princess snuggles]

1 hour ago, LuckyLilac said:

Similarly, even in my "progressive" communities, I've seen the vibe be "SFW agere for trauma is fine, but not this *edge kink*". It hurts. Not least as I don't have trauma, though this does help me cope with various things, but there's undeniably a kink side to it. That's why I came here, hoping to feel connection when I'm otherwise alone in this.

It can be a kink and it can be a coping mechanism. I don’t know if sharing this helps, but it helped me, so I’ll share. 

Agere (age regression) can be a medical or mental health experience though doesn't have to be trauma related often is, but the Agere community as it exists today started because people under 18 were being told (rightly) that CG/l spaces were not appropriate for them. So, they made their own space. That’s where the SFW-only stance comes from. 

But CG/l has always included both age regressors and kinky folk, and sometimes both in one person (👋 hi, that’s me). All of that is valid. 

That said, the Agere community can be very exclusive at times, especially toward NSFW regressors or those whose experiences don’t “fit” their rules. It was literally built to be separate, so it makes sense, but that doesn’t mean CG/l regressors are doing anything wrong by existing and expressing ourselves differently. I say that as someone who was regressing before 18 and now regresses as an adult, in a trauma-informed and consensual kink space. 

Your little side is valid however it shows up. Whether it’s SFW, NSFW, or both (me = the both 🤭 - complicated and beautiful!), your expression is still you, and that’s something worth celebrating. We are allowed to be complicated and beautiful because that's human nature. 

I don’t know if this helped or didn’t help, but just know we’re here for you. 

And @tressygirl1119, thank you for your message, I really appreciated it. I’m also here if you ever need a friend or listening ear! 💜

[LuckyLilac]

3 hours ago, Princess snuggles said:

It can be a kink and it can be a coping mechanism. I don’t know if sharing this helps, but it helped me, so I’ll share. 

Agere (age regression) can be a medical or mental health experience though doesn't have to be trauma related often is, but the Agere community as it exists today started because people under 18 were being told (rightly) that CG/l spaces were not appropriate for them. So, they made their own space. That’s where the SFW-only stance comes from. 

But CG/l has always included both age regressors and kinky folk, and sometimes both in one person (👋 hi, that’s me). All of that is valid. 

That said, the Agere community can be very exclusive at times, especially toward NSFW regressors or those whose experiences don’t “fit” their rules. It was literally built to be separate, so it makes sense, but that doesn’t mean CG/l regressors are doing anything wrong by existing and expressing ourselves differently. I say that as someone who was regressing before 18 and now regresses as an adult, in a trauma-informed and consensual kink space. 

Your little side is valid however it shows up. Whether it’s SFW, NSFW, or both (me = the both 🤭 - complicated and beautiful!), your expression is still you, and that’s something worth celebrating. We are allowed to be complicated and beautiful because that's human nature. 

I don’t know if this helped or didn’t help, but just know we’re here for you. 

And @tressygirl1119, thank you for your message, I really appreciated it. I’m also here if you ever need a friend or listening ear! 💜

Yeah, I'm confident it's both kink and coping mechanism for my anxiety, sometimes both at once, sometimes separately. Naturally, I have nothing against the agere community, just not the biggest fan of the animosity. I also tend to stick with little in the kink sense as a label is that my experience is somewhere between what could be considered agere and agedre. For me, it's like moods that come over me that I can't help and honestly feels kinda detrimental to supress when I have to, wouldn't say it feels fully voluntary. But I stay aware of being adult, can still safely cook or travel alone, I don't regress, cognitively.

 

It's more just the ignorance in a different vanilla community that means a lot to me. I probably don't need to tell you what people who have an NSFW element to their CG/l get wrongly branded as. Having to keep this secret at all costs is pressure.

 

I'm trying to find subtle-ish ways to express my little and middlespaces when I feel them. Darker clothes, some colourful hairclips, that kind of thing. If I can't act how I feel, I can at least covertly look it, a little bit.

[Princess snuggles]

@LuckyLilac

I completely hear you. It's hard having to hide who you are is hard. 

Sometimes for me, it helps just to do little things like currently I'm living back home as I've recently finished uni, and while it's really hard not being able to go into little space fully. I find little things like watching an episode of miraculous (or another little show) on my laptop while in bed, or listening to Disney with headphones, helps. It's not the best, but it helps. Obviously yours might look different but stuff like that, also i really like on YouTube the CG/l and DDLG bedtime stories ASMR which I listen to on my phone with headphones before bed. 

However, you're valid and seen here, in this forum. As if you need a friend I'm here whether that's a need for a little friend or someone to talk to while big. 

I'm proud of you, love snuggles. 

[MissAnna]

On 8/2/2025 at 4:10 PM, Cranius said:

Hallo Meine Freuende (Hello my Friends),

I've seen some posts recently about the following:

• Feeling ashamed about being a little.
• Being afraid to open up to a partner about being a little.
• Being afraid of judgement from others.
• Negative self-talk about being a little.

I would like to plant a flag down and make one thing absolutely clear: no one will shame you here. You are safe, and you are perfect the way you are. And, as the wonderful @MissAnna is so fond of saying: you are loved and worthy of being loved. 

If you have nowhere else to go, this is a place you can go. If you have no one else to talk to, I am here to talk to you, and you may message me anytime. 

Being a little can be challenging. All our lives, we are told to grow up, to be independent. To be a little, we are going against that very strong, potent, omnipresent social current. (And my deepest empathy for little boys and mommies, who swim even further upstream against the masculinity and femininity expectations). 

Going on this journey takes strength, but if you are here, you are strong. You have already sought out community, advice, counsel, and safe-harbor. Some people go their whole lives wishing, but you are here-- you are acting upon what you know is right for you. And, if nobody else has commended you for that, I will. Good job. 

I came to these forums arguably at my lowest point in the last 60 months. I had to have the universe strip away most of my life as I knew it in order to come here. I have a whole post on my journey with shame, and I don't want to go into that here and detract from the point of the post-- I would just like you to know that you don't have to have your whole life stripped away to accept yourself. We will all accept you here.

If you're reading this and you're unsure of your journey as a little, or you're afraid to open up to your partner, or you're ashamed of yourself-- acknowledging that and processing that is the first step. 

That can start here. You don't have to hide anymore. Hiding who you are can create pain. It can repress parts of yourself, or create barriers between yourself and a partner. It can create mistrust, jealousy, resentment, sadness, and numbness.

If you have shame, fear, or uncertainty, we are all here for you. And if nobody has extended you an invitation to talk, have a friend, or have an ear: I am. 

Mit Liebe und Umarmungen (With Love and Hugs),

Joey 

 

Thank you for the beautiful compliment

Its a true treasure and honor to see someone post such uplifting words as these

This is a safe space and it's okay to be a little, a daddy, a mommy, a sub or whatever you are comfortable with identifying with. 

We are here to lift one another up, to provide comfort as well as support for each other. 

Until next time remember you matter, you are loved and you are worthy of being loved 

[LuckyLilac]

@Princess snuggles Omigosh, Miraculous! 🥺

 

I recently have playlists for each headspace. Granted, mostly music I'd already go for but to keep the mood consistent without being distracted by a song with the opposite vibe lol. Trying to find more video games too, possibly clothes I could get away with. At least with both my actual family and my vanilla community, in the worst case, I could mitigate the damage by claiming SFW agedre. Not least as anything I do alone isn't too far off anyway.

[Cranius]

20 hours ago, Princess snuggles said:

Thank you.

I’m a little and a girl, and I’ve had people, IRL friends too, even those also in the CGL community, tell me that being a little should always be easy for me.

It’s not.

I’m a childhood abuse survivor (which I try not to talk about), and I’m also the oldest sibling. I had to grow up really fast. By the time I was 5, I’d learned how to be independent and how to take care of someone who depended on me.

Me and independence have a really weird relationship, I love it and hate it. I’m so capable because I had to be, but that’s also made it really hard to trust.

I’ve had years of therapy and healing (as much as one can), but the insecurities around being a little still flare up sometimes. Truthfully, that’s because it has felt dangerous at times, especially when, as a literal child, the people meant to protect me were the ones who hurt me.

I got triggered a while ago and deleted my old account, but I’ve come back with a new one, and I’m slowly remembering that I am valid.

Lately, I’ve felt really alone and kind of broken in general. And I can’t explain how much I needed to hear what you wrote.

So thank you. Deeply.

You're welcome! Welcome back. We are here for you. We are going against societal norms and that's tough. Trauma is tough, too. I'm glad my words resonated with you. And I'm so happy to hear they helped. That's why I wrote them-- to help someone feeling what I felt, and continue to feel, sometimes. 

You're welcome. We love you.

[Cranius]

19 hours ago, tressygirl1119 said:

Joey you're such a dang doll for writing all this--much like Princess Snuggles i needed to read all that, too. i'm fairly new to the DDlg scene (been in the BDSM broader scene for about 6yrs now) and have only just been learning to lean in to my littleness and not be ashamed of it. Daddy loooves seeing me be my truest self, which has deffo made it easier, but much like you shared, it's been a journey through shame and self-hatred to get to where i am. i only just started to consider accepting my little side about 3-4mos ago and man it's been TOUGH sometimes! Particularly since i've had to be so independent for so long because no one has been there for me my entire life up until i started dating my Daddy a little over 6yrs ago. thank you sooo much for reminding me of my strength and that i'm welcome here (i get anxious about new people and places so i've been lurking mostly until today, woohoooo yay bravery!). you seem like a great dude and an awesome little and a good friend. 🫂

 

Princess Snuggles, please know that while i wish neither of us would've had to deal with abuse of any kind, you're not alone. i'm also a trauma survivor (0-26ish) that i don't love to talk about either. i'm so glad you've also pursued healing with therapy (as much as one can, of course!) because it's been instrumental in my ability to accept myself as a little. i guess i just wanted to reach out and say you're not alone and if you ever want an ear to listen, i'd be honored, but there's absolutely no pressure! we're both valid and amazing littles and we deserve to live our authentic lives. ❤️

I admire your experience in BDSM. I haven't had any negotiated play outside the bedroom. I play by myself as a little. So I am glad you have some experience. It is a helpful guide. 

I appreciate the kind words. Know that overcoming shame is a process and not linear. I struggle with shame in some form almost daily, I just handle it better, and be little in spite of it. There will be days or times where that shame might still surface.

Just know that you can heal here, and you are not your shame, and you can be who you want to be.

Mit liebe und umarmungen,

Joey

[Journey]

On 8/5/2025 at 5:51 AM, LuckyLilac said:

Similarly, even in my "progressive" communities, I've seen the vibe be "SFW agere for trauma is fine, but not this *edge kink*". It hurts. Not least as I don't have trauma, though this does help me cope with various things, but there's undeniably a kink side to it. That's why I came here, hoping to feel connection when I'm otherwise alone in this.

I think that in our case, it is both a kink and from trauma. I can trace my tendency to be a caregiver to trauma I went through, but there clearly is a kink side at play. My wife expresses her age regression and wanting a dominant daddy as a kink, but certain things make me suspect that there was some trauma she went through. Either that or she has some very specific fantasies concerning daddy. So it certainly can be true that it can be both a kink and also deal with trauma at the same time.

[Journey]

The interesting thing is that I am dealing with this in both directions, both as someone who age regresses and as someone who is the dominant daddy married to someone who age regresses.

I did not realize this until recently, but I am pretty sure that I tend to age regress when under severe stress, without realizing it, much to my wife's annoyance. At first she would get mad, since she wanted to be the little girl, and also because she came from a culture where the man is supposed to be dominant. Me being a little boy was not something she wanted for a husband or daddy. It caused fights. 

Eventually she got to know my parents better and learned about my childhood, and realized that my parents messed me up a bit. She does not like my parents and thinks how they raised me was cruel. After that, she became more patient with me, but still hated having to be mommy, since she wanted me to be daddy. 

That and the fact that the relationship would basically devolve to two 12 year olds trying to take care of each other. Not exactly ideal.

And then there is also the pressure as a male to "be a man." My dad used to call me all sorts of names growing up. I bet you can guess which ones. He loved me, but he never did consider me a "man," at least until I stood up to them and married my wife despite their objections. I endured a 4+ hour phone call where my mother tried to use every manipulation tactic in the book to prevent me from marrying my overseas fiancée. The phone call ended only because my phone battery died. She contradicted herself several times on the phone call, which I found amusing. She would say anything to get me to break off the marriage. My father at least respected me for having a pair after I went ahead with the fiancée visa and marriage. My parents eventually mellowed with age, and as they got to know my wife, they started liking her. Took awhile though.

But in the background, there is always the expectation that I have to be "the man" by my parents, my wife, and society in general. 

I am coming to terms with who I am and who I have been, including my past age regression. But it is still hard not living up to everyone's expectations. 

For her, I know she is ashamed of her age play. We once went to a doctor (who is from the same country as my wife), and she immediately caught the DDlg dynamic going on. When you combine the culture she grew up in (which expects the husband to be a father-figure and the wife to be submissive) and the fact that my wife acts like she is 11 years old most of the time (without even realizing it), it becomes obvious for someone who knows what to look for. The doctor started to hint that she knew, which made my wife very uncomfortable. We had to find a new doctor since she didn't want to go back.

Fun fact: my wife has been mistaken for a child more than once at a doctor's office, despite being over 30, probably because she is petite and acts like she's 11.

And I have not even mentioned the NSFW part of our relationship, which is taboo. My wife does not even get turned on unless I am being the dominant daddy, so if I want sex, I have to be not just "the man" but also "daddy." 

So there is a lot of pressure to conform, at least for me.

So dealing with shame and trying to fit into polite society is something we both struggle with. We are both afraid someone will find out and judge us.

Edited September 25 by Journey

[Journey]

Looking at my wife's culture, where the husband is often "daddy" and the wife is often "baby," which has a similar power dynamic as DDlg, it makes me wonder "what if things were reversed, where DDlg was normal and modern relationships were the kink?" At least with traditional relationships, her culture gets pretty close to being DDlg without actually being DDlg. 

Considering that different cultures have different relationship structures, and different people want different things in a relationship, should we really be ashamed of our particular expression of love?

Edited September 25 by Journey

[Little kaiya]

31 minutes ago, Journey said:

Looking at my wife's culture, where the husband is often "daddy" and the wife is often "baby," which has a similar power dynamic as DDlg, it makes me wonder "what if things were reversed, where DDlg was normal and modern relationships were the kink?" At least with traditional relationships, her culture gets pretty close to being DDlg without actually being DDlg. 

Considering that different cultures have different relationship structures, and different people want different things in a relationship, should we really be ashamed of our particular expression of love?

I'm curious about which culture you're referring to as I never heard of a culture where the husband is "Daddy" and the wife is "baby". Certainly there are multiple patriarchal cultures but that is a very different sociological construct.

[Journey]

4 hours ago, Little kaiya said:

I'm curious about which culture you're referring to as I never heard of a culture where the husband is "Daddy" and the wife is "baby". Certainly there are multiple patriarchal cultures but that is a very different sociological construct.

It probably is more accurately described as a subculture within a culture since it is not something that I have seen nationwide in any country. Certainly a minority of women in any particular country would fall into this subculture. However, I have met women from multiple countries that have similar subcultures.

Most of them are Hispanic, although I have seen this in Asia, Africa, the Caribbean, and the Pacific Islands as well. I have even met some white women who wanted this type of relationship too, although that is rare and goes against modern western culture. The Filipino variant is interesting since Filipinos are a mix of Hispanic, Asian, and American culture. But it is always a subculture within a culture, not your typical vanilla patriarchal style relationship. 

Or another way to look at it is: this is a common kink within many patriarchal cultures, to the point where it can be considered a subculture.

I view it as a submissive woman's twist on a patriarchal relationship, where the woman is using the power dynamic to rearrange things in her favor. And I suspect that women who are into DDlg are using their own patriarchal culture to achieve their fantasies or ideal relationship.

Every women who I have met with this subculture was always a woman submissive by choice, who exchanged her being submissive for lack of responsibility. These women were not dumb. It was almost always a strategy to get what they wanted in a relationship, which was a dominant man who will take care of them. All of the burdens were shifted onto the man and in exchange the women takes care of the man's needs but has little or no responsibilities. Also, every woman I met who wanted this type of relationship enforced this dynamic, penalizing the husband if he did not take control. It was clearly what the woman wanted in every case I encountered, and she forced her mate to comply or else was dropped by the female. Her basic expectation was that the man was supposed to be dominant and if he was not, she was not attracted to him and did not respect him.

If you go to Asia or Latin America and expect a submissive woman to be a push over, then you don't understand submissive women in these cultures. That is not how it works over there. These women know how to assert their will and use the patriarchal structure to their advantage. It is very different than the toxic dominant male model, seen in countries like the United States, which tends to be less family oriented and uses force to maintain dominance. In most patriarchal relationships I have seen in Latin America and Asia, where the woman wants a patriarchal relationship, it is a voluntary power exchange and the women will take back her power if she is not happy with the arrangement. I call this power submissiveness. She is far from helpless and acting submissive is a gift that is given and can be taken away.

In some ways, it can be an unfair exchange, since the entire caregiver burden is shifted onto the man. When I signed up for this initially, the sex and love and affection and play was attractive, but over time I realized that I was shouldering all of the burden myself while she watched cartoons, played on her phone, and delegated all decision-making and worries to me. She did wind up getting a job and contributing financially, but all family and household burdens were on me. She got to play like a child, while I had to be the parent and handle all of the hard stuff alone. 

It should also be noted that most people from western cultures don't really understand how a patriarchal relationship actually works. In my experience, it usually falls into one of four categories:

1. Delegated Responsibility (your typical dominant / submissive dynamic)
2. Divided Responsibility (each partner has their own domains of responsibility)
3. Shared Responsibility with a Leader (major decisions are made with consensus, but one person, usually the male has the final say) 
4. Patriarchal in Name Only (on the outside, the man is in control, but in reality the woman is pulling the strings)

Each of these relationship structures can work if both parties want and consent to this arrangement. The problem with traditional relationships is not their structure, but the fact that many women and men are forced into a relationship style they do not want. This is especially the case of women, who may prefer a different style, such as shared responsibility, or women dominant relationships. You also have a problem with some men not knowing how to be a good caregiver, and not knowing how to balance power and tenderness. If they are too hard, they become abusive. If they are too soft, the submissive women are not attracted to them. It is hard to get the right balance if you did not have good role models. 

Interestingly, many women with this subculture prefer western men, since they appreciate them being submissive more and don't take them for granted. Whereas men in their own country often take them for granted and sometimes treat them harshly as a result.

So, this subculture does exist, but is not a majority in any country I have visited. In this case, I am talking about the subculture she grew up in, not their mainstream culture. And specifically women who are more likely to want a DDlg style relationship in the context of a patriarchal structure.

Or put another way, there is a significant percentage of women in these cultures that want a DDlg style relationship as a lifestyle choice where it is common enough to spot if you look for it. Like my wife's doctor immediately noticing the DDlg dynamic within 10 minutes of seeing us for the first time. It's a common kink in some cultures.

Edited September 25 by Journey

[Journey]

5 hours ago, Little kaiya said:

I'm curious about which culture you're referring to as I never heard of a culture where the husband is "Daddy" and the wife is "baby". Certainly there are multiple patriarchal cultures but that is a very different sociological construct.

The shorter version of the previous post is that DDlg is common enough of a kink in some cultures that it can be considered its own subculture, to the point where if you know what to look for, you can spot it.

My wife's mother was in a DDlg relationship, and my wife also wants a DDlg relationship, inspired by her mother & father's relationship. As a lifestyle, not role play. And as I mentioned before, my wife's doctor (who is from the same culture) noticed the DDlg dynamic within 10 minutes of meeting both of us. In some cultures, this is practiced by a noticeable subset of the population. 

Edited September 25 by Journey

[Journey]

6 hours ago, Little kaiya said:

I'm curious about which culture you're referring to as I never heard of a culture where the husband is "Daddy" and the wife is "baby". Certainly there are multiple patriarchal cultures but that is a very different sociological construct.

Well, the culture does not call them "daddy" and "baby." Society calls them "husband" and "wife."

A wife will often call their husband "daddy" or "papá" or "papi" and the husband will often call their wife "baby" or "bebé" or "mommy" or "mamá" or "mami."

These are common terms of endearment in those cultures, which is what I was referring to.

Edited September 25 by Journey

[beep.]

Cranius, this post is lovely. Thank you. I'm brand new to the space, shame is very much alive and well within me. This truly let me breathe a little bit. Thank you 😊

[Journey]

I think I felt more shame being a daddy than she felt being a middle. It is something I had to get over to be a good daddy.