I would love to learn more

[SleepyLynn]

Hello, my name is Lynn.

I am new to the forum and to the dynamics of a DD/LG or having a caregiver, and new to it all.

I am curious to learn more about the little space and how to explore it. I was told the best way to learn is to ask other little/middles directly and to read on the topic through forums and other things. I would greatly appreciate it if anyone is willing to share/communicate their experiences and knowledge.

Some general information about me is that I am naturally pretty childish- I've been called "the little sister" of my friend groups, even though I am typically the oldest or second oldest - because of this, some friends I asked who have experience in dynamics suggested I might be a little / middle - so I am trying to educate myself properly.

What does little space feel like? How did you find out you were a little / middle? And how did you figure out where you landed in the space?

Some things that I have started to notice about myself that have led me to explore this possibility: I've noticed that when something akin to rejection happens, the emotion feels big and overwhelming. I can't handle it or regulate my emotions and feelings, and I want to lie in bed, cuddle up to my pillows and blankets, or my plushies. Or when I want things, I make grabby hands and say "gib" without really a second thought because I feel playful / happy and tend to use baby talk or a higher-pitched tone. I get called bratty / gremlin when I have too much energy or whiny. I love taking naps - I like cartoons/anime, singing, drawing, coloring, more so coloring than drawing. I find plushies adorable- and like soft, squishy things that can bring comfort.

This side of me is pretty new - without trauma dumping, I was in a bad living situation beforehand, and now I am in a good and positive environment where I can be myself without restriction- and I am realizing that I might be a little / middle.

Anyway, the moral of this post is... Hi, I am Lynn- I would love to chat and learn more about the community, be educated, and meet others.

[kuuchan]

Hi there Lynn, and welcome to the community! Great to have you here :3

I think i found out i was little through a slow process, that finally clicked when i found out the term "age regressing" and "littlespace". I've always felt more childish and drawn to kiddy things. I've never felt like i was mentally on the same level as my peers. Me acting more "mature" and mimicking behaviours of my peers has always been fake and not natural to me. A lot of that is also a result of my autism, but littlespace is a great way to embrace my childlike behaviour and personality! :3 

What littlespace feels like is a bit harder for me to define at  this point, because i've learned to embrace my middle-self so much that i'm basically in littlespace all the time! So my answer to what littlespace feels like: it feels normal/natural! 😄 But i think that's what it should feel! Littlespace shouldn't feel like something you have to force yourself to be in. When littlespace feels natural and "like you" is when it's working! So just embrace and hold onto those little feelings, and the things your already into (watching cartoons, singing, drawing etc.)

Figuring out where in the littlespace spectrum one lands in can be challenging to some. It was for me as well! I only recently, this spring infact, discovered i was more a middle with baby tendencies than just a regular little! It took me over a year of being a little to discover. A lot of self reflection and feeling out what things i'm really into helped me narrow my little age down. But these are also very personal choices and things, so i suggest feeling it out on your own, i'm sure you'll figure it out! But don't force it or hurry with it, little age imo isn't really that important to being little imo. Like, i'm a 12 yo little who likes to wear diapers 😆 cus why restrict myself to just like things 12 yo's are "supposed" to act or like (cus it's not like i'm actually 12 anyways! it's all fun and games~) 

8 hours ago, SleepyLynn said:

I was in a bad living situation beforehand, and now I am in a good and positive environment where I can be myself without restriction- and I am realizing that I might be a little / middle.

This is already a great first step, and this is also something i love about littlespace so much! it gives people a safe way to be exactly what they want, without caring about societal expactations! Good luck with your little journey! ❤️

[SleepyLynn]

Thank you so much 

This is really helpful- It's all new and kinda intimidating, but I have been feeling more and more like myself, especially when I act childish and indulge in that behavior.  And I get some anxiety because it's new, so I really appreciate

13 minutes ago, kuuchan said:

 

What littlespace feels like is a bit harder for me to define at  this point, because i've learned to embrace my middle-self so much that i'm basically in littlespace all the time! So my answer to what littlespace feels like: it feels normal/natural! 😄 But i think that's what it should feel! Littlespace shouldn't feel like something you have to force yourself to be in. When littlespace feels natural and "like you" is when it's working! So just embrace and hold onto those little feelings, and the things your already into (watching cartoons, singing, drawing etc.)

 

This kinda speaks to me alot because it feels natural to act a bit more childish to me - but I have so much anxiety around being rejected over it so I will continue to try and explore it safely and thank you for your advice on not rushing to find an age- I think I'll focus more on how i feel when i get in these moods of being childish and things like that and exploring them.

[kuuchan]

1 minute ago, SleepyLynn said:

This kinda speaks to me alot because it feels natural to act a bit more childish to me - but I have so much anxiety around being rejected over it so I will continue to try and explore it safely and thank you for your advice on not rushing to find an age- I think I'll focus more on how i feel when i get in these moods of being childish and things like that and exploring them.

I definitely understand the anxieties around being little. I felt very self-conscious about getting little when i started, but i can assure you that it gets better and easier the more time passes, and you don't let the fear of rejection rule over you. Also what really helped me was finding and befriending other littles to share feelings and experiences! There are so many littles with unique experiences on this very forum too!

So rest assured, being anxious about it is normal, but don't let it bring you down! It's all a process, and i know you'll figure it out! :3 What's important is your having fun and being yourself ❤️

[SleepyLynn]

51 minutes ago, kuuchan said:

I definitely understand the anxieties around being little. I felt very self-conscious about getting little when i started, but i can assure you that it gets better and easier the more time passes, and you don't let the fear of rejection rule over you. Also what really helped me was finding and befriending other littles to share feelings and experiences! There are so many littles with unique experiences on this very forum too!

So rest assured, being anxious about it is normal, but don't let it bring you down! It's all a process, and i know you'll figure it out! :3 What's important is your having fun and being yourself ❤️

I would love to meet and talk to more people about their experiences, and thank you so much for your insight. I was worried that my anxiety around it wasn't normal and made me not a little / middle and that I was overthinking that maybe I am. But this has helped alot.

One reason I joined this place was so I could meet others and learn and talk and explore this side of myself.

[LuckyLilac]

I half relate to some extent, a lot of people seem to mert me once and decide that I'm precious and must be protected lol. I do also have several "childish" interests, though I feel like that's where my experience goes off in a different direction. Most of the time, those interests for me I associate eith bring just big. I'm even in a vanilla community for one of them. It actually makes finding things for my little self yo enjoy harder when so many of the quintessential ones I associate with feel some of my most independant and "adult". My little and middlespaces more come and go in "moods", sometimes just for a moment, sometimes all day. Can really suck when I have to hide it, but very enjoyable when I don't.

I think discovering I was little came about in a bit of a less common way. It started with humiliation play scenes, being talked down to like a child, but over time, I started actually liking it. I do remember my first littlespace, much more intense than most of them since. Visiting my girlfriend at her old place, on her bed while she was in the next room. One of her many stuffies caught my eye and something just came over me, it "clicked". It was like hypnosis, was the only point of reference I had. I was so shy that time I couldn't even face my own partner, I had to message her what was happening. She took to the role of Mummy pretty instantly lol. It does get easier, now when I'm in littlespace she can hardly shut me up 😛

What you describe about seeming to have naturally little-ish personality traits actually seems like the more common experience than mine. And that's okay, it's natural that all of us found this from slightly different angles. My metamour, also a little seems closer to that kind of experience too, while my girlfriend when little is closer to mine.

[SleepyLynn]

6 hours ago, LuckyLilac said:

 My little and middlespaces more come and go in "moods", sometimes just for a moment, sometimes all day. Can really suck when I have to hide it, but very enjoyable when I don't.

I relate to this a lot- It feels honestly natural and not like I'm purposely acting childish- like it not a super conscious decision I make where I go "man I want to act like a little kid" but more so a mood that hits where I am like  "Oh wow I have so much energy and I'm super happy and really playful" and the first thing out of my mouth are random noises, or I make grabby hands at my partner and say "want" because I want their attention. Or if something negative happens like rejection, I get hit with feeling of feeling incredibly small - like everything is super overwhelming and I don't know how to articulate my thoughts or words so I just apologize and whisper- like a kid being scolded and then end up hiding away in my bed with my blankets and pillows for comfort.

They come and go in waves, and it never feels like I am actively trying to be anything- it's just who I am, how I respond and feel while in these moments. I don't always feel little - but it comes and goes throughout the day. Sometimes I can go a day or two without having these moods or moments. But when they do happen, it feels natural, feels comfortable, it doesn't feel forced or fake. 

A good example of these moods is like this morning, my partner was making breakfast and I came out in the dining room, and I was in a playful mood and I saw him and i immediately started to do this little steppy thing where I kind of walk waddle in place moving back and forth and side to side I guess is a good way to describe it lol- and went "good mormin" in a higher pitched voice- and giggled when he noticed me and told me good morning. It just happened- it wasn'tt planned, just that's how I naturally reacted in that moment. Or I have this one plushie named Pankitty- my immediate response is to squish her, because she is so fluffy and puffs back up and has this cute smile, so it makes me giggle when I see her puff back up. 

I have a small collection of plushies- I always thought they were cute, but never thought it was appropriate to own them because of my age- until I met someone who was like "you like plushies?" and I said yeah, and they got excited and said "Me too!" And she showed me her collection, and she was just a bit younger than I am, and I learned I had several other friends closer in my age who had them, and I was like "oh, so it's ok?" And now I have a small addiction to them.

Being childish has always been somewhere within me- but had to be dormant for a really long time because of past living situations and trauma- I was forced to grow up super-fast, and now that I'm safe in a space I can be me, its coming out in waves and it's kind of confusing, and scary and I worry that its not ok, that my friends will judge and my partner would leave. ( Anxiety )  So coming here and reading everyone's responses and experiences has started to help me feel more comfortable with it, and I want to keep exploring it.

I've only told a few close friends about it and my partner, and they have been pretty understanding and supportive of it. And I only told them because they have been noticing a shift in my behaviors too and started asking why I'm acting weirdly- especially when I force myself to suppress some of my more childish antics and I get in a weird headspace after doing that, but the ones who do know are really chill about it and told me that it's not going to change how they see me- especially since I was already in a position of "little sister" of the group lol