Age Play, Age Regression, Little, Inner Child - What is the difference?

[Laurelyn]

Hi!  Maybe this is semantics, but I'm trying to understand DDlg and what is actually means.

Is this ageplay? What is the difference between age play, age regression, littles and having an inner child?  Do these terms get used interchangeably? I guess I'm struggling a little with where I fit... maybe it doesn't matter but I am struggling with how to fit in here completely.  I like artistic activities... coloring, decorating my calendars and notebooks with stickers, crafting, drawing, etc... I have a couple of stuffed animals (or stuffies as I've seen them called) but I definitely don't have a huge assortment... do these things make me a little?  

Are all littles age players?  Are all age players littles?  Are you regressing if you lay on the ground to color?  Or dress "cutely", like wearing Hello Kitty clothes?  

If you're a little, or an age player or whatever, are you naturally a submissive? In my "youth" I had dreams of a daddy who would set boundaries and give some accountability - what I think of now as rules and consequences for not following those rules.  Is this more being submissive rather than being a little?  

Maybe the question really is, what does it mean to be little?  Or, what does it mean to you?

[Princess snuggles]

Hi, hello. 

Okay, firstly that confusion completely and utterly valid. 

Now this might be more confusing but yes and no to everything! Yes they can be used interchangeably and they aren't always the same thing.

So I'm a little, so a little in general can be anyone on the little side of the dynamic so think littles, middles, babygirl/boys. A little specifically out of these is a person who regresses or plays an age below 10 ish. 

Age regression is different for everyone so I'll explain this for me, it's like I'm emotionally, mentally that age. Age regression can also refer to regressing in relation to mental health.

Age playing or being an age player is kinda more role play with different ages involved often sexually but not always, this can be included in regressing but someone can age play without regressing even if they are pretending to be a younger age. 

Okay about submission, so for me I am a little and a submissive, however some littles are dominant and some will be switches all of which are valid. Lots of littles even those who aren't completely submissive or are only submissive in little space want rules and consequences even if they aren't submissive. Though for me it links in to being a sub and I know this because I like rules and consequences outside of little space and don't want to top on any level. 

Now there are also babygirls/ boys who will want a CG or to be looked after in that caring way without regressing or playing a younger age at all. 

Being little and what that means I truthfully think is very personal and something only you can discover on your own. However, for me it means safety, and love, and acceptance, and reduced pressure and stress. Being little for me is my safe space, and it's the one time I truly feel I'm allowed to just be me. 

learning is scary, asking questions is scary, but you're doing that and it's incredibly brave and powerful. 

I'm here if you want advice or if you want to ask anymore questions, I'll always help as much as I can. And I'm proud of you, for asking and learning. 

[LuckyLilac]

Ageplay, to my understanding, is like the shallow end of the pool, as it were. Purely just roleplay from an adult headspace, ageplayers might have specific ages or scenarios in mind to play out. Age regression is way down the other end, a period of actual cognitive regression, literaly thinking like a child, even no longer understanding some adult things. Littlespace for manu, certainly for me, is inbetween. When little, I know I'm an adult, I can safely navigate things a child would need supervision for, but it's a childlike mood, sometimes intense. A lot of people's little ages in their profiles will be a rough range of ages, as it can often vary. Sometimes I more ageplay with my partner in small doses, and sometimes it develops into litylespace. I've never regressed.

CG/l (the gender neutral term for DD/lg) as a relationship style is usually a subset of power exchange, a type of BDSM relationship. It can include being taken care of in some ways, a reward/punishmeny system, but it can be anything those involved want it to be.

[LuckyLilac]

7 minutes ago, Princess snuggles said:

Okay about submission, so for me I am a little and a submissive, however some littles are dominant and some will be switches all of which are valid. Lots of littles even those who aren't completely submissive or are only submissive in little space want rules and consequences even if they aren't submissive.

Seconding this as well, slipped my mind to mention, but absolutely true.

[CodeName: Trouble]

👋 Hullo!

SO many good things to touch on here! I'm sure you'll get allot of inciteful responses to this but I'll throw in my 2 cents!

I think the definitions to these things are a little loose and flexible, but I would not consider them interchangeable. I'm also a submissive and have been in this community and living the lifestyle for almost 8 years now and have observed allot of different people, behaviors and relationships and made a little glossary so i'll add that below:

Glossary of some terms, based on my experience and research: 

experience and identity can vary from person to person, this should not be taken as fact. (Edit - added extra disclaimer )

✨Littles: Someone who feels/acts/identifies with an age younger than themselves, or perhaps someone who is just young at heart and enjoys the softer things in life. A little doesn’t have to have a specific age in mind or have a little space, but they often do.

✨Middle: A type of little who tends to enjoy activities catering to older children and teens. They may be more rebellious and independent than younger littles.

✨Little space: A mindset in which a little taps into their inner child, usually as a form of play or a way to destress by removing oneself temporarily from the adult world and allowing them to enjoy activities and experiences without being burdened by societies rules or expectations of how an ‘adult’ should act.

✨Regression: A defense mechanism where a person reverts to coping mechanisms used during earlier life stages. This is usually involuntary and often a result of stress or hardship - but may also be a healthy learned coping strategy! Some littles may experience regression, but regression itself is not necessarily associated with littles or little space.

- Ex: Someone biting their nails or sucking their thumb when stressed, a driver having a tantrum (road rage) due to traffic, Wetting the bed for the first time in years after experiencing a traumatic event, and other skill regression resulting from stress which can me emotional, physical or a combination of both. As the humanly flawed Neurodivergent individual I am, I can experience significant skill regression when I'm burnt out or stressed.

✨ Age- Regression: is when someone reverts to behaviors, thoughts, or emotions associated with a younger age than their current chronological age. It can be a coping mechanism for dealing with stress but that is not necessarily the case. Age- regression can be a healthy and positive experience.(edit- added separate definition for age-regression vs regression)

✨The Inner Child: The capability to experience qualities associated with childhood such as playfulness, wonder, exhilaration, innocence and sensitivity. It is also a place of vulnerability that can hold onto childhood traumas, frustrations, fears, pain, resentments and anger. This is not inherently associated with Little space, regression, or age-play and is just part of the human experience.

✨Age-play: A form of roleplay between one or more consenting adults where one or both parties act younger/older than their biological age. Age-play can be non-sexual, sexual, or something in between. This is perhaps more relevant when there are specific ages and roles in mind, like during scenes or roleplay. 

✨Caregiver: a person in a CG/L relationship (platonic, sexual or otherwise) that willingly and enthusiastically takes on a caregiving role. Caregivers may like being called Mommy, Daddy, Auntie, Uncle, babysitters, or really any other term. This is in regards to a relationship dynamic or roleplay between consenting adults and is not in any way associated with actual family members.

✨DDlg – Daddy Dom/little girl

✨MDlg – Mommy Dom/little girl

✨DDlb – Daddy Dom/little boy

✨MDlb – Mommy Dom/little boy

✨CG/L: Caregiver/Little, this is a gender-inclusive term that I feel puts emphasis on the caregiving role instead of a dominant role, though d/s may still be involved.

(list pulled partly from one of my previous post)

Additional takes:

You do not have to be a little to enjoy coloring, collecting stickers, enjoy cute clothes or watch reruns of old nostalgic cartoons. People can just like what they like and there doesn't need to be any deeper labels or explanation to it. There are also littles who are alternative, or littles that don't like the stereotypical little things but still feel young at heart and prefers to see the world through youthfully optimistic eyes.

Being a little is not about fitting an aesthetic or liking certain things(thou that can certainly play into it!), it's more about vibes and personal identity so it can very wildly from person to person.

Regression, as touched on in my list, is a bit of a different thing than just being little or experiencing little space. If you have a friend who regresses it's important not to assume what that means for them, be supportive of individual experience by asking how they define their own regression and how one may be able to support them. Having an open dialog is important with pretty much everything in this community as things can be very individual and different person to person. One person may have very positive experiences with regression while someone else may struggle with it and it's important that everyone is seen and validated. (edited for clarity)

Age-Play is more associated with the act of roleplaying a certain age or scenario, allot of littles and CGs are age-players but they don't necessarily have to be.

Rules can have many different purposes depending on the relationship and the end goal! Allot of rules can lean into the D/S side of things but it can also look more like having an accountability buddy rather than a strict dom.

Why a little might have rules: (not a complete list at all)

• Encouragement to perform necessarily daily tasks
• Encouragement to better ones self or build skills
• Establishing a routine
• Help build healthy coping skills
• Give some control over daily life to a partner/CG (sexual or non sexual)
• Establish more strict protocols, often more associated with D/S

Not all rules have punishments, and all punishments should be brought up beforehand, explained during, discussed after, consented to, and be proportionate to the rule broken. (psa: silent treatment is never a good punishment)

Sorry for the rambling!

Edited August 10 by CodeName: Trouble
Edited for clarity

[Princess snuggles]

19 minutes ago, CodeName: Trouble said:

👋 Hullo!

SO many good things to touch on here! I'm sure you'll get allot of inciteful responses to this but I'll throw in my 2 cents!

I think the definitions to these things are a little loose and flexible, but I would not consider them interchangeable. I'm also a submissive and have been in this community and living the lifestyle for almost 8 years now and have observed allot of different people, behaviors and relationships and made a little glossary so i'll add that below:

Glossary of some terms, based on my experience and research:

✨Littles: Someone who feels/acts/identifies with an age younger than themselves, or perhaps someone who is just young at heart and enjoys the softer things in life. A little doesn’t have to have a specific age in mind or have a little space, but they often do.

✨Middle: A type of little who tends to enjoy activities catering to older children and teens. They may be more rebellious and independent than younger littles.

✨Little space: A mindset in which a little taps into their inner child, usually as a form of play or a way to destress by removing oneself temporarily from the adult world and allowing them to enjoy activities and experiences without being burdened by societies rules or expectations of how an ‘adult’ should act.

✨Regression: A defense mechanism where a person reverts to coping mechanisms used during earlier life stages. This is usually involuntary and often a result of stress or hardship(but may also be a learned coping strategy). Some littles may experience regression, but regression is not necessarily associated with littles or little space.

- Ex: Someone biting their nails or sucking their thumb when stressed, a driver having a tantrum (road rage) due to traffic, Wetting the bed for the first time in years after experiencing a traumatic event, and other skill regression resulting from stress which can me emotional, physical or a combination of both.

✨The Inner Child: The capability to experience qualities associated with childhood such as playfulness, wonder, exhilaration, innocence and sensitivity. It is also a place of vulnerability that can hold onto childhood traumas, frustrations, fears, pain, resentments and anger. This is not inherently associated with Little space, regression, or age-play and is just part of the human experience.

✨Age-play: A form of roleplay between one or more consenting adults where one or both parties act younger/older than their biological age. Age-play can be non-sexual, sexual, or something in between. This is perhaps more relevant when there are specific ages and roles in mind, like during scenes or roleplay. 

✨Caregiver: a person in a CG/L relationship (platonic, sexual or otherwise) that willingly and enthusiastically takes on a caregiving role. Caregivers may like being called Mommy, Daddy, Auntie, Uncle, babysitters, or really any other term. This is in regards to a relationship dynamic or roleplay between consenting adults and is not in any way associated with actual family members.

✨DDlg – Daddy Dom/little girl

✨MDlg – Mommy Dom/little girl

✨DDlb – Daddy Dom/little boy

✨MDlb – Mommy Dom/little boy

✨CG/L: Caregiver/Little, this is a gender-inclusive term that I feel puts emphasis on the caregiving role instead of a dominant role, though d/s may still be involved.

(list pulled partly from one of my previous post)

Additional takes:

You do not have to be a little to enjoy coloring, collecting stickers, enjoy cute clothes or watch reruns of old nostalgic cartoons. People can just like what they like and there doesn't need to be any deeper labels or explanation to it. There are also littles who are alternative, or littles that don't like the stereotypical little things but still feel young at heart and prefers to see the world through youthfully optimistic eyes.

Being a little is not about fitting an aesthetic or liking certain things(thou that can certainly play into it!), it's more about vibes and personal identity so it can very wildly from person to person.

Regression, as touched on in my list, is a bit of a different beast and has more to do with more complex coping mechanisms which can range from just thumb sucking to full regression. If someone you know says they regress it's important to ask follow up questions on what that means to them and how you can support them. This can be a positive experience if managed, but allot of regression comes from a place of hurt/stress/trauma and can result in some very scary and negative experience for some people. It's important to know how to interact with people who regress and what they are and aren't okay with by having an open dialog with them.

Age-Play is more associated with the act of roleplaying a certain age or scenario, allot of littles and CGs are age-players but they don't necessarily have to be.

Rules can have many different purposes depending on the relationship and the end goal! Allot of rules can lean into the D/S side of things but it can also look more like having an accountability buddy rather than a strict dom.

Why a little might have rules: (not a complete list at all)

• Encouragement to perform necessarily daily tasks
• Encouragement to better ones self or build skills
• Establishing a routine
• Help build healthy coping skills
• Give some control over daily life to a partner/CG (sexual or non sexual)
• Establish more strict protocols, often more associated with D/S

Not all rules have punishments, and all punishments should be brought up beforehand, explained during, discussed after, consented to, and be proportionate to the rule broken. (psa: silent treatment is never a good punishment)

Sorry for the rambling!

Oh I love the little glossary. I do think it’s important to remember that experiences can vary, and definitions evolve based on people’s understanding and lived reality. I’m also a little who age regresses it’s not always tied to mental health, and it can be a positive and affirming thing. I’d also be careful with suggesting people “question” someone’s regression, unless you know them well, that can easily feel invalidating or invasive. Different doesn’t mean wrong, and there’s space for all kinds of experiences here. Glad we're on the same page.

Also I don't care if you are a mental health professional if you are not that person's professional, you do not know them enough to claim that it's mental health related! 

[Laurelyn]

Oh wow, this was so so so helpful, and honestly much deeper than I had realized when I first posed these questions.  When I first started thinking about exploring DDlg I really struggled with which direction to go as I saw these as so black and white and opposite sides of a coin, if that makes sense.  I've felt as I've gotten older that I should give up that desire to "play" so to speak.  That being an adult really meant putting away childish things, so I started exploring submission and maybe made things more complicated than they needed to be as I saw all of these as very specific categories with lines drawn in between each one.  I'm going to have to read through all of your amazing answers again and contemplate them more, but I feel so much more comfortable with belonging here in the community than I did even a few hours ago, so I really thank you guys for sharing so much with me.  

[CodeName: Trouble]

40 minutes ago, Princess snuggles said:

Oh I love the little glossary. I do think it’s important to remember that experiences can vary, and definitions evolve based on people’s understanding and lived reality. I’m also a little who age regresses it’s not always tied to mental health, and it can be a positive and affirming thing. I’d also be careful with suggesting people “question” someone’s regression, unless you know them well, that can easily feel invalidating or invasive. Different doesn’t mean wrong, and there’s space for all kinds of experiences here. Glad we're on the same page.

Also I don't care if you are a mental health professional if you are not that person's professional, you do not know them enough to claim that it's mental health related! 

I wasn't trying to suggest people "question" their peers, but to try and be supportive of  individual experience by asking their friends how they define their own regression and how one may be able to support them. Regression isn't always a result of trauma or mental health, and it can be positive which I did state. ☹️ I'm sorry if it came off any differently than me stressing communication and drawing attention to the the not so sunny side of things as well. I will be revising my response to hopefully better reflect my intentions.

Genuinely thank you for your feedback!

- sincerely, an autistic goblin just tryin to halp

(Update: I revised my wording and hope things come off more clear now, and I added a separation between age-regression and regressive coping strategies.)

Edited August 10 by CodeName: Trouble
update

[Cranius]

1 hour ago, CodeName: Trouble said:

👋 Hullo!

SO many good things to touch on here! I'm sure you'll get allot of inciteful responses to this but I'll throw in my 2 cents!

I think the definitions to these things are a little loose and flexible, but I would not consider them interchangeable. I'm also a submissive and have been in this community and living the lifestyle for almost 8 years now and have observed allot of different people, behaviors and relationships and made a little glossary so i'll add that below:

Glossary of some terms, based on my experience and research: 

experience and identity can vary from person to person, this should not be taken as fact. (Edit - added extra disclaimer )

✨Littles: Someone who feels/acts/identifies with an age younger than themselves, or perhaps someone who is just young at heart and enjoys the softer things in life. A little doesn’t have to have a specific age in mind or have a little space, but they often do.

✨Middle: A type of little who tends to enjoy activities catering to older children and teens. They may be more rebellious and independent than younger littles.

✨Little space: A mindset in which a little taps into their inner child, usually as a form of play or a way to destress by removing oneself temporarily from the adult world and allowing them to enjoy activities and experiences without being burdened by societies rules or expectations of how an ‘adult’ should act.

✨Regression: A defense mechanism where a person reverts to coping mechanisms used during earlier life stages. This is usually involuntary and often a result of stress or hardship - but may also be a healthy learned coping strategy! Some littles may experience regression, but regression itself is not necessarily associated with littles or little space.

- Ex: Someone biting their nails or sucking their thumb when stressed, a driver having a tantrum (road rage) due to traffic, Wetting the bed for the first time in years after experiencing a traumatic event, and other skill regression resulting from stress which can me emotional, physical or a combination of both. As the humanly flawed Neurodivergent individual I am, I can experience significant skill regression when I'm burnt out or stressed.

✨ Age- Regression: is when someone reverts to behaviors, thoughts, or emotions associated with a younger age than their current chronological age. It can be a coping mechanism for dealing with stress but that is not necessarily the case. Age- regression can be a healthy and positive experience.(edit- added separate definition for age-regression vs regression)

✨The Inner Child: The capability to experience qualities associated with childhood such as playfulness, wonder, exhilaration, innocence and sensitivity. It is also a place of vulnerability that can hold onto childhood traumas, frustrations, fears, pain, resentments and anger. This is not inherently associated with Little space, regression, or age-play and is just part of the human experience.

✨Age-play: A form of roleplay between one or more consenting adults where one or both parties act younger/older than their biological age. Age-play can be non-sexual, sexual, or something in between. This is perhaps more relevant when there are specific ages and roles in mind, like during scenes or roleplay. 

✨Caregiver: a person in a CG/L relationship (platonic, sexual or otherwise) that willingly and enthusiastically takes on a caregiving role. Caregivers may like being called Mommy, Daddy, Auntie, Uncle, babysitters, or really any other term. This is in regards to a relationship dynamic or roleplay between consenting adults and is not in any way associated with actual family members.

✨DDlg – Daddy Dom/little girl

✨MDlg – Mommy Dom/little girl

✨DDlb – Daddy Dom/little boy

✨MDlb – Mommy Dom/little boy

✨CG/L: Caregiver/Little, this is a gender-inclusive term that I feel puts emphasis on the caregiving role instead of a dominant role, though d/s may still be involved.

(list pulled partly from one of my previous post)

Additional takes:

You do not have to be a little to enjoy coloring, collecting stickers, enjoy cute clothes or watch reruns of old nostalgic cartoons. People can just like what they like and there doesn't need to be any deeper labels or explanation to it. There are also littles who are alternative, or littles that don't like the stereotypical little things but still feel young at heart and prefers to see the world through youthfully optimistic eyes.

Being a little is not about fitting an aesthetic or liking certain things(thou that can certainly play into it!), it's more about vibes and personal identity so it can very wildly from person to person.

Regression, as touched on in my list, is a bit of a different thing than just being little or experiencing little space. If you have a friend who regresses it's important not to assume what that means for them, be supportive of individual experience by asking how they define their own regression and how one may be able to support them. Having an open dialog is important with pretty much everything in this community as things can be very individual and different person to person. One person may have very positive experiences with regression while someone else may struggle with it and it's important that everyone is seen and validated. (edited for clarity)

Age-Play is more associated with the act of roleplaying a certain age or scenario, allot of littles and CGs are age-players but they don't necessarily have to be.

Rules can have many different purposes depending on the relationship and the end goal! Allot of rules can lean into the D/S side of things but it can also look more like having an accountability buddy rather than a strict dom.

Why a little might have rules: (not a complete list at all)

• Encouragement to perform necessarily daily tasks
• Encouragement to better ones self or build skills
• Establishing a routine
• Help build healthy coping skills
• Give some control over daily life to a partner/CG (sexual or non sexual)
• Establish more strict protocols, often more associated with D/S

Not all rules have punishments, and all punishments should be brought up beforehand, explained during, discussed after, consented to, and be proportionate to the rule broken. (psa: silent treatment is never a good punishment)

Sorry for the rambling!

As a new little, this was incredibly helpful. Thank you!

[Princess snuggles]

14 hours ago, CodeName: Trouble said:

I wasn't trying to suggest people "question" their peers, but to try and be supportive of  individual experience by asking their friends how they define their own regression and how one may be able to support them. Regression isn't always a result of trauma or mental health, and it can be positive which I did state. ☹️ I'm sorry if it came off any differently than me stressing communication and drawing attention to the the not so sunny side of things as well. I will be revising my response to hopefully better reflect my intentions.

Genuinely thank you for your feedback!

- sincerely, an autistic goblin just tryin to halp

(Update: I revised my wording and hope things come off more clear now, and I added a separation between age-regression and regressive coping strategies.)

I really wasn't trying to seem off or snappy. I was just saying from a lived experience it's not always mental health or trauma, and the questioning peers is as someone who has been questioned while regressed or about it as though I'm a problem, I was just making sure it's clear only question if you know them well and are being respectful. 

sorry if I misunderstood, I'm also autistic, so if I came of as rude or snappy in response I wasn't meaning to be, just trying to add to your point. Particularly because I've had mental health professionals in the field assume stuff about my regression and be quite off about it.